Misdiagnosed
01-03-17, 19:32
Hi,
My name is Sam, I'm nearly 27 and I work within the health sector. It wasn't until last year that I really had no choice but to acknowledge I have a problem. I spent until then pretending life was great and working myself ragged .. because that's all I knew to do. It's taken both a counselor and psychologist to make me see I have problems with anxiety which actually lead as far back as my childhood.
Basically, January of last year it hit and came out to everyone around me really and myself that I was living a lie .. to me it all felt real, but it wasn't .. everything I dreamt about, thought about so deeply .. it all felt real. I was living in my head instead of in reality. It was the hardest thing to ever have to admit to, or even see and understand. I know that probably doesn't make much sense .. not much does make much sense to me, even now.
It appears I buried everything that was bothering me, hurting me, scaring me, etc, etc .. in doing so, I tipped myself over the edge. Apparently sometimes when things happen the mind does funny things but .. it's of little condolence to me now.
I've lost a lot of people due to this, friends, family, colleagues especially .. and even sending this to you all, admitting it .. even to total strangers is so darn hard. I know that mental health is real, as is all this, but people don't and wont accept that .. it's so isolating.
I'm still struggling with my anxiety, my emotions, I still feel 'indifferent' .. I don't feel happy, but I don't feel unhappy. I can't really explain it. I just don't want to be alone anymore. It'll be nice to talk to .. at least one person who understands the struggle.
Much love to you all,
Sam x
My name is Sam, I'm nearly 27 and I work within the health sector. It wasn't until last year that I really had no choice but to acknowledge I have a problem. I spent until then pretending life was great and working myself ragged .. because that's all I knew to do. It's taken both a counselor and psychologist to make me see I have problems with anxiety which actually lead as far back as my childhood.
Basically, January of last year it hit and came out to everyone around me really and myself that I was living a lie .. to me it all felt real, but it wasn't .. everything I dreamt about, thought about so deeply .. it all felt real. I was living in my head instead of in reality. It was the hardest thing to ever have to admit to, or even see and understand. I know that probably doesn't make much sense .. not much does make much sense to me, even now.
It appears I buried everything that was bothering me, hurting me, scaring me, etc, etc .. in doing so, I tipped myself over the edge. Apparently sometimes when things happen the mind does funny things but .. it's of little condolence to me now.
I've lost a lot of people due to this, friends, family, colleagues especially .. and even sending this to you all, admitting it .. even to total strangers is so darn hard. I know that mental health is real, as is all this, but people don't and wont accept that .. it's so isolating.
I'm still struggling with my anxiety, my emotions, I still feel 'indifferent' .. I don't feel happy, but I don't feel unhappy. I can't really explain it. I just don't want to be alone anymore. It'll be nice to talk to .. at least one person who understands the struggle.
Much love to you all,
Sam x