Abstaining from sex because of HA

[YoungHon]

I'm gay and I now can no longer think about having sex without thinking about pathogens entering my bloodstream. I have it in my mind that gay sex = disease. Even if I use condoms I'm still going to worry about the STDs you can contract from oral or protected intercourse.

I've been very promiscuous in the past and have slipped up before and I can't get over the fact that I put myself at big risk. I will never forgive myself. I'm now beginning to hate myself for even being gay to begin with.

Has anyone else decided to abstain from sex because of their anxiety? And how long for? I'm thinking it would be wise for me to abstain until I am in a long term relationship, but even then I would be very worried about him cheating on me and getting infected that way.

[lofwyr]

I am a straight male, so do not have the quite the same issues. But anxiety has kept me shy of it before. I had a period of ED which transpired because of anxiety. Which fed the ED. Which made me anxious. Which fed the ED. It was hell.

For a while my anxiety kept me wanting to avoid sex, just because I felt I was setting myself up for failure. And understanding wife brought me around eventually, but it was a journey a few years in the making.

[ServerError]

I'm thinking it would be wise for me to abstain until I am in a long term relationship, but even then I would be very worried about him cheating on me and getting infected that way.

I'm thinking it would be wise for you to get some therapy.

[PASchoolSyndrome]

While it's always good to be mindful of STIs and make healthy lifestyle choices, I think you should go seek some help. Trust can be hard in a relationship but you wouldn't want anxiety to stop you from sharing that intimacy with someone.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm thinking it would be wise for you to get some therapy.

Agreed. Avoidance based on fear = reinforcement of anxiety disorder.