Going Through a Very Hard Time

[Lakme]

Hello. I haven't been here in a while. The last time I posted here was after I landed in the emergency due to a reaction to the antidepressants my doctor gave me. I landed in the ER once again due to waking up with bad chest pain for a couple weeks. I'm trying to do a test for h pylori due to my digestive problems because I'm convinced that it is causing a myriad of my problems. However, I get constipated for days on end which is making it harder to put my mind at rest because I can't deliver a sample any time sooner. My eyes are dry and I've got swollen glands under my chin. My joints get swollen sometimes and whenever I take fish oil it seems to make all of these symptoms better. I think I may have Sjögren's syndrome. Anyhow, not only have I been worried about having stomach cancer or something else, but I started to convince myself that it spread to my bones (which sounds ridiculous, I know.) There's this bone in my vertebrae that sticks out and when I touch it it feels like it's bigger than the others and it curves inward. I showed this both to my GP and the ER doctor and they both said it was normal, that sort of calmed my nerves, but now I've becomed obsessed with this lump of my skull/occipital bone and I keep messing with it. My blood tests were perfectly fine, both one that I received from GP several months ago, and the one in the ER last week, and so was a chest X Ray , but I've been very tired and stressed out lately. I am trying desperately to find out what is wrong with me so that I can begin college and work but some days I find it hard to get out of bed. I have seen that some who contract h pylori develop severe health anxiety and I don't think that could be any closer to the truth. There are a lot of things going on with me right now and it's debilitating to say the least. I just need some comfort and reassurance so I can keep moving forward. When I was sitting in the ER I was convinced that when everything came back they were going to tell me that I was dying and I was going to try my best to accept the end, and I couldn't be more surprised to find that they still couldn't find anything abnormal, even after all of this time, which is comforting but not it in the way I would like it to be.

I realize the absurdity of some of what I'm saying, but I haven't been myself lately, especially with the excessive fatigue. I've been sleeping 12 hours and having sleep disturbances to go along with it. I can't seem to catch a break. Thanks.

[Lakme]

Bump!

[montys]

Well, you definitely still have health anxiety hahah so you're in the right place. However, the fact that your hypochondria abated for a period of time means that you have the power to feel better about your situation.

The first thing you should do is accept the fact that you're healthy like the doctors say you are. Then you can start focusing on treating your anxiety via mindfulness, professional help, etc.

Also, anxiety tends to heighten during periods of life transition. Do you think that starting college has something to do with this? I experienced something similar when I started college: I was afraid to die because I now had an opportunity to obtain a better life.

[Lakme]

Well, you definitely still have health anxiety hahah so you're in the right place. However, the fact that your hypochondria abated for a period of time means that you have the power to feel better about your situation.

The first thing you should do is accept the fact that you're healthy like the doctors say you are. Then you can start focusing on treating your anxiety via mindfulness, professional help, etc.

Also, anxiety tends to heighten during periods of life transition. Do you think that starting college has something to do with this? I experienced something similar when I started college: I was afraid to die because I now had an opportunity to obtain a better life.

I understand that I have health anxiety. It doesn't help that I am 20 years old. I honestly didn't believe that I would be alive right now. I was almost certain that I was going to be dead by now. As for healthy, I'm not entirely sure about that. I've lost quite a bit of weight since October and I am now sitting at around 130. If I was dying I'm guessing I would probably be in excruciating pain by now, but I know there's something going on with my body. My doctor thought it was funny how much my weight has been fluctuating within the past year without any particular effort. I actually am trying my best to transition into the next phase of my life but it's in shambles right now. I just earned my GED in November while I was trying to deal with chronic abdominal pain and constant anxiety. The pain lasted months and has since subsided but with as many symptoms that have been showing up it's hard to find the time and energy to live my life. I was already a shut in before I got sick, and now I have to deal with all of this, and without health insurance.