Advice on coping with death!!!!

[kazzie]

:hugs: Hi Guys

Im looking for some advice here......

As you all know my cousin was murdered a few days ago and I cant seem to move on!!!!!

There will be no funeral for weeks and I sit here every day shaking and crying, cant laugh, eat or do anything much!!!:shrug:

Im on diazipam which is masking the horror of what happened but I cant live like this forever

I feel guilty for being alive of even thinking about the future

The last time I lost someone really close was when my parents died 20 odd years ago but they were old and died peacefully so although gutted I could accept it

Can anyone give me any help advice links etc that might help

Thank you all for all the support

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Pink Princess]

http://www.thesite.org/healthandwellbeing/wellbeing/lookingafteryourself/dealingwithdeath


:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

you are going through a difficult time just now but things will get better kazzie xxx thinking of you xxx

love minnie xxx

[honeybee3939]

Hi Kazzie

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

It must be a terrible time you are going through, i really feel for you hun.
could you have a word with you gp maybe he could refer you for some councilling for your grief and loss. loosing some one can be extremely painful and im sure a little councilling could help ease the pain.

Sending you more hugs Kazzie
:hugs: :hugs:

Love
Andrea
xxxx

[domino]

Oh kazzie, sorry to hear that you are feeling so sad, i do know how you feel , my dad died suddenly, not like your cousin, butall the same it was very difficult for me , it still is in some ways, it,s his 23rd anniversary today. My advice to you would be to see your g.p. first thing in the morning if you can, also my sister in law finds cruise very helpful and understanding. I n the meantime here are some :bighug: :bighug: and i am thinking of you at this difficult time xx

[happyone]

Kazzie sweetheart, i can only imagine the pain of what you are going through. Any death affects us, but particularly when it is premature and especially if through a violent action.

Bereavement has stages (I can't remember them all) but disbelief, numbness, shock, anger, guilt, acceptance, moving on (not necessarily in that order) are some of what I can remember.
We all experience these to a greater or lesser degree when we suffer a bereavement, not always moving with ease from one stage to the next, we may move forward, and back for some time.
Acceptance and moving on will take a longer time when the person is so attatched to your emotions. It is unfortunately not a process we can hurry, our brain does it for us, however, things like funerals can help move on.

In the absence of a funeral, sometimes people have a memorial service or event. this can be religious or not. It can be big or small. There is no right and wrong. This could be bringing together people who knew him and just talking about him for a couple of hours.

I know it seems hard to believe just now, but you will move on from where you are. You might not even notice it happening, but one day you will realise you felt better than before.

CRUSE, is a great service for people who are bereaved. I unfortunately can't do links and stuff.

You ever feel the need to sound off (which can help too) please feel free to pm me. I have big shoulders hunny.

happyone
xx

[honeybee]

oh hun...

i think the important thing to remember is what you're feeling is normal... death is always difficult to cope with but with such gruesome circumstances surrounding the death of your cousin i'm sure it'll make it even harder to deal with..

i feel for you sooo much...

i found after the death of my brother and sisters dad just over a year ago i went around in a sheer state of shock for such a long time... god knows how we organised the funeral or anything but we did...

unfortunatly having to carry on after a death is just apart of life... i know it's such a cliche but time is a great healer in these situations... im not saying you'll ever forget him... but one day you'll find you remember a good time you had together and slowly but surely you'll be able to think about him and smile... it does take a long tiime but you will get there...

have you searched on the net for murder victims' family support... im sure there are some great charities out there... i'll have a look for you too and i'll pm you any info i find...

i think its important for you to talk to people at the moment.

there is no easy way of dealing with these things... do you have family you can be ariound??? you may be wondering how you're gonna get through this at the moment but you will... i felt the same a year ago and now im here trying to help you... i wish i could give you a great big hug :hugs: take care and keep in touch

[honeybee]

heya hun... i've just found this for you... the link is for a website for families of murder victims... the page of the link is advice and support

http://www.knifecrimes.org/advice-support.html (http://www.knifecrimes.org/advice-support.html)

this next page is info on how your Police Family Liaison Officer dealing with your case can put you in touch with your local Victim Support Office.

http://www.victimsupportsco.demon.co.uk/leaflets/sam.html (http://www.victimsupportsco.demon.co.uk/leaflets/sam.html)

here are some phone numbers that might be of some use

PETAL
(People Experiencing Trauma and Loss)
01698 324 502

FOMC
(Families of Murdered Children)
01698 336646

PETAL and FOMC represent the self-help network for people bereaved through murder.

i really hope some this this can be of help to you... if you need anything at all please pm me...

[Piglet]

Kazzie my uncle died yesterday but under much more everyday circumstances and he was much much older and very poorly. This is sad enough without having the appalling events that surrounded your cousin.

What made your cousin unhappy in this life however will be much better in the next one. He now safe and at peace so please take comfort in that. Nothing and noone can ever hurt him again.

Love Piglet

[kazzie]

Thank you all so much:hugs:

Loads of good tips there will be actioning them tomm

Big Hugs:hugs: to you Piglet sorry to hear about your uncle

We will know by the end of the week the forensic results so will keep you all posted

Im sorry to burden you all with this but just need people who are dear to me but dident know Mike so arent personally involved to help a wee bit

As usual you lot have come up trumps:yesyes:

Thank You my friends

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[honeybee3939]

Kazzie

You are not burdening us at all hun ! :)
Just hope there is something amongst your replies that will help ease your pain.

Hugs
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx

[manmoor]

:hugs: kazzie :hugs: xxx

[shoegal]

Kazzie,

I can only imagine how you must be feeling as you are having to cope with such an awful lot hun. What happened to your cousin was dreadful and I'm so sorry for your loss.
I think you have been given some really good advice on this post so there's not much I can add.
Time will heal your pain and you will get through this.
Thinking of you.:flowers: :flowers: :flowers:

Love and big hugs from shoegal xxx

[stace81]

:hugs: :hugs: STAY STRONG HUNNI:hugs: :hugs: XXXXXX

[Lindalou64]

Hi Kaz
Im Sorry To Hear Of Ya Loss Hun I Know Its Hard It Just Takes Time Lots Of Time To Heal We All Deal With This Differentley But From Experince I Know Like I Believe Piglet Said One Day You Will Smile When You Think Of Him Again But In Time .....my Prayers Are With Yas .tc Xxxx Linda

[kazzie]

Thanks Guys:yesyes:

Have found a support group for families of murder victims have yet to ring them but I will!!!!

Its just all this sitting waiting for forensics thats getting to me

However survived today with no diazipam so thats good

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[nomorepanic]

Kazz

:hugs: mate - thinking of you still.

[Piglet]

:hugs:

Love Piglet :flowers:

[clickaway]

Kazzie,

I found this via the Portsmouth Council website. Council websites often give contact details for all manner of voluntary support groups.

Take care my friend :hugs:

http://www.e.volve.org.uk/Listings.aspx?index=132&item=2789

[David985623]

Death is hard to cope with. Im still struggling to come to terms with my nan dying. It does get easier. But never goes away. I feel for you.

Dave

[yorkylover]

http://www.yourcoolprofile.com/Images/Hugs_And_Kisses/images/hugs-kisses--02.gif
Thinking of you kazz.:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[rosebud]

Thinking of you Kazzie:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Traceyxxx

[Paddington]

Hi Kazzie,i cant ads any more practical advice as it has been given already:) What i do however is put somthing in my garden a plant or a crystal or both usually and it is my rememberence place,you can go when ever you like and speak to your loved one,i find it very comforting Kazzie...and make that call hun,those people will help you no end:flowers: Love Paddie.xxxxxxx

[Granny Primark]

Oh Kazzie I really do feel for you:hugs:
The way you lost your cousin was terrible.
We all expect to lose our loved ones but when we lose them so unexpectedly it breaks our hearts.
When I lost my mum suddenly 23 years ago I used to go upstairs and tell her everything that had happened that day and tell her how much I loved her.
When she was buried Id go and talk to her at the cemetry. I still do that even now.
I went to the spiratualist church when she first died that helped me loads, but its each to their own.
Loads of love and hugs from me kazzie.

Take care
LYNN xx

[kazzie]

Thank You All:hugs:

Well the case has been passed to the murder squad and we now have a family liason officer and she is really nice.........they are still trying to peice together what the hell went on that night:shrug:

We can start sorting his flat next week but his body wont be released for ages yet!!!

Funny thing happened tho on Sat........on Friday I said to hubby I wish he would send me a sign he is ok well on Sat we went to Tesco I waited in car and when hubby came out he had forgotton something so went back in.......well I looked down and by the car door was a pidgeon with amazing orange eyes(mikes fave colour) I felt a real sense of peace and when I looked back the pidgeon had vanished!!!! Never any birds in that car park cos its busy!! Im sure it was Mike letting me know he is ok!!!!

Hubby read once that when someone passes away they cant send messages for 3 days this was 3 days and 4 hrs after he died!!!!

Ok maybe I have finally cracked!!

Got a phone call tonight to say hubbys uncle died today!!!!!

Beam me up scotty lol

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Quirky]

Still thinking of you :hugs:

Lisa x

[ashnjim]

i feel for you kazzie hun.
i lost my uncle a year ago next month and he was my rock, i took it really bad as it was the first death in my family since i was a kid.
i was in a bad way for ages but i started doing things that helped me, i wrote him a letter and said everything i wanted to say to him and never got the chance- i put this letter in his coffin because i believed he would get it when he goes to heaven.
i listen to music that reminds me of him and look up at the sky when i am walking the dog, i see a bright star and i tell him i will always love him and he will never be forgotten.

i dont know if this will help love but give it a go xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[kazzie]

Thanks lis and ash

Still no news but been up the pub tonight with some mates starting to feel more normal now!!!!

Life will never be the same!!!!:shrug:
Luv You All

Kaz x x x :hugs: :wacko:

[Karen]

Thinking of you Kazzie :hugs:

Karen xx

[Ellen70]

Hello Kaz, I just read this thread for the first time now.
So very, very sorry to hear what happened to your cousin.
You came into the 'second' room in chat to talk to me tonight when I was feeling down and I had no idea what you have been through the last few days.
I can tell that you are a strong person but I do hope I can be there for you sometime when you need someone.
I bet your cousin is very proud of you right now.
Take care,
Eibhlin xxx

[Quirky]

You really are coping so well Kaz, proud of you :hugs:

Lisa x

[Piglet]

I remember when Caron Keating died (a real angel lover) Philip Schofield saying something about they kept seeing white feathers around and about which they all felt was a sign from her.

I quite like Doreen Virtue oracle cards (all positive nothing scary) and she says if you notice something regularly (abit like your experience) then you can bear it in mind as a sign.

Mind you each to their own like Lyn says - I like to take comfort in positive and gentle signs though as it helps me to feel better.

Still thinking of you sausage.

Love Piglet :flowers:

[happyone]

Hi kazzie

still thinking of you hunny.:hugs:

When my dad died, Not long after, I was in the garden feeling blue when this robin flew down right next to me and when I moved it followed. I began to cry and it stayed there the whole time. it was literally inches away from me.

My dad loved gardening and I believed it was a sign that he is looking out for me.
trust what you felt with the pigeon hunny. that is so nice.

happyone
xx

[kazzie]

Thanks all of you:hugs:

Well the nipper was remanded in custody today again on other matters but still the police are trying to work out what happened:shrug:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[lildutt]

kazzie im so sorry hun and ive sent you pm hun
bell xx

[kazzie]

:shrug: Thanks Foxy have read and replied!!!!

Well went out to exbury gardens today was nice to have a bit of normality for 5 mins!!!!

There was a wedding there and the wedding party were going on a train ride the bride looked lovely!!!!

Went to the pub after and the wedding party were there it was sooooooo nice to see people looking so happy:yesyes:

Maybe one day I will be happy again:shrug:

Luv U all

Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Piglet]

You will be darlin - you will. :hugs:

Piglet:flowers:

[kazzie]

Thanks Piglet:hugs:

Luvs u ALL#


kAZ X X X :hugs:


SORRY BIT DRUNK LOL

[Quirky]

Glad you went out and had a nice day Kaz. Exbury gardens is such a lovely place isn't it.

You will feel happy again in time and you are coping so well.

:hugs:

Lisa x

[honeybee3939]

Hi Kazzie

Glad to hear you have been out today and had a little normality, you certainly deserved it hun!:hugs:

Hugs to you Kazzie, be strong hun
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[kazzie]

Thanks Guys:hugs:

Well it gets worse by the day!!!!

Had the police round here today and its starting to look like it may have been some drunken prank that went horribly wrong!!!!

My head is totally done in :ohmy:

Thank You all for the ongoing support:hugs:

You bunch are the only bit of sanity left in my life lol:yesyes:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Piglet]

Still thinking of you love.:hugs:

Piglet x

[Quirky]

Thinking of you too Kaz :hugs:

Lisa x

[kazzie]

Thank You All

Big hugs Lis and Piglet:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[kazzie]

Hi All

Well police have said initial forensic results will be here on Tuesday and they might release his flat tomm!!!

Looking more and more like a drunken prank that went wrong

Has a letter from the hospital today re his property that I had to sign that referred to him as the LATE Mr Michael Toye made me realise he really is dead!!!


Ah well feeling a bit better as time marches on

Thank You All again for your ongoing support:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Quirky]

Kaz - still thinking of you and proud of the way you're coping :hugs:

Lisa x

[yorkylover]

http://www.yourcoolprofile.com/Images/Hugs_And_Kisses/images/hugs-kisses--02.gif

[kazzie]

Thanks Lis and Ellen:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Piglet]

Kaz I still feel so sad about all of this and my heart goes out to you - drunk or not doesn't make a difference in my book.

Please let us know the outcome won't you.

Love Piglet xx

[kazzie]

Thanks Piglet:hugs:

Of course I will keep you posted mate You lot of lovely people are keeping me sane at the mo!!!!:yesyes:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[kazzie]

Hi Guys:hugs:

Just a quick update got the keys to his flat from police but the whole place looks like its been burgled!!!!

Ok it was being decorated when he died but half the furniture has vanished and the whole place is like a skip!!!!

Anyhow I coped so thats the main thing worse bit was there was loads of flowers outside with messages on and I had to bin them cos they were dead and I kept the messages off them one was from a spanish mate and written is spanish!!!! Can anyone here speak spanish cos I would love it translated!!!


Anyhow Thank You all for the support next thing will be Tuesday when we get the forensic report!!!!

Luv To All

Kaz x x x :hugs:

[Quirky]

Well done for coping so well with that Kaz :hugs:

Sadly I can only speak French not Spanish but you can translate things easily here:

http://babelfish.altavista.com/

It's free, you just put in the text and then select what language you want it translated from/to. I hope that helps.

Lisa x

[kazzie]

Cheers Lis

Will try that when im awake/sober lol

Luv Kaz x x x :hugs:

[Quirky]

You're welcome, hope it works.

Night night,

Lisa x

[kazzie]

Thanks Lis

Got it translated on there and it was a lovely message cheers for the link:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Piglet]

:hugs:

Love Piglet

[honeybee3939]

You are still in my thoughts Kazzie sending you a hug too:hugs: :hugs:

:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx

[Quirky]

Glad you got the message Kaz :hugs:

Lisa x

[happyone]

Hi kaz,
still thinking of you.:hugs:
The fact that it was a drunken prank gone wrong is just so bad. I don't know what happens in the brains of some people, it defies belief.
You are doing well honey.:hugs:

happyone
xx

[kazzie]

Thanks all of you:hugs:

Sorry this post is dragging on and on but cant do without the support at the moment!!!!:shades:

Well tommorow I might know the initial forensic results:ohmy:

Been into his flat ffs it was hard but I coped:yesyes:

Thank you all again soooooooooo much:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x :hugs:

[Quirky]

Hi Kaz,

You post here for as long as you need/want to, there is no time limit on the support you will receive here :hugs:

Will be thinking of you tomorrow with the results :hugs:

Take care,

Lisa x

[kazzie]

Awwwwww thanks Lis:hugs:

Dont expect you to worry bout me when you are in so much pain mate:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x :hugs:

[happyone]

Hey, you can't be worrying about how long things are hun! There is no specified time for how long you need support for. people are here as long or as little as you need.:hugs:
Happyone
xx

[kazzie]

Hi Guys:hugs:

Thanks Happy:hugs:

Well the forensics initial report came back today and told us....NOTHING!!!

Well nothing we dident already know!!!!

So now the investigation is ongoing and his body may not be released for weeks!!!

Stuck in this horrible state of limbo and cant seem to get on with life!!!!

Cant cope with this at the mo

Thanks for listening:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Piglet]

Oh Kaz I am so sorry to hear this hun.

I really hope it can be sorted out as soon as possible - my heart goes out to you.

:hugs:

Love Piglet x

[kazzie]

Thanks Piglet:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[honeybee3939]

"HUGS Kazzie!"

Sorry to hear there as been no progress for you today.

Thinking of you hun.

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx

[Quirky]

Awww Kaz, how awful that they still don't know and this has to go on even longer :hugs: . I do hope you get some answers soon.

Thinking of you,

Lisa x

[kazzie]

Thanks Andrea and Lis:hugs:

Well another day has passed still no news:shrug:

Thanks for letting me drone on here:yesyes:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Quirky]

Hi Kaz,

You post here as much as you want/need, no one minds :hugs:

It must be horrid waiting and not knowing when you'll hear anything, I do hope it's soon.

Take care,

Lisa x

[kazzie]

Thanks Lis:hugs:

It is a living hell mate but not got much choice other than to hold it together!!!

Thank You all for the ongoing support:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Quirky]

It is a living hell mate but not got much choice other than to hold it together!!!


Yes it really must be, but remember that you are holding it together and coping really well :hugs: Proud of you :flowers:

Night night,

Lisa x

[kazzie]

Well things have moved up a gear today!!!

Inquest was opened and ajourned and the coroner has released Mikes body at long last!!!

Now Im trying to organise a funeral!!

Im a bit upset cos as you all know he was scotttish and traditionally you go to the chapel of rest but for reasons I wont say here cos dont want to upset anyone they will only let me sit with his closed coffin so cant say a proper goodbye!!!

Oh well at least I can sort things out he is being cremated and his ashes sprinkled on the banks of Loch Lomond in Scotland

Ah well thanks for listening again:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Quirky]

Hi Kaz,

Glad things are moving now and that his body has finally been released.

You can say a goodbye mate, just talk to him in his coffin or do it when you have the funeral or scatter the ashes, whatever feels right for you. You can find you own special way to do it, whatever/wherever that is. I know it's not the same but he would understand.

Loch Lomand is a beautiful place to scatter his ashes too.

Take care,

:hugs:

Lisa x

[honeybee3939]

Hi Kazzie

So pleased to hear things are moving for you, it must be so hard for you Kazzie dealing with all this. i think its remarkable how well you have coped.

So proud of you Kazzie!

Hugs
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx

[Piglet]

I agree with Lisa and Andi hun - you know you are a very special lady to be dealing with all this.

You're in my thoughts and I am sending you extra good strong vibes as are we all here on NMP for the hideous time you've all been through.

Mike is at peace now Kaz.

Love Piglet x

[kazzie]

Thank you all

Just been writing his funeral service which hubby is doing!!!!

Im in bits tonight but thanks all for the support:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Quirky]

You're welcome to the support :flowers:

Night mate,

Lisa x

[Piglet]

It's totally understandable hun how you feel - don't expect anything of yourself, just go with the flow, (much better out than in)!

This has been a very sad, shocking and very bewildering time and you will need time to grieve and heal but while nature helps you along with this always remember that Mike is actually at peace now and nothing more can hurt him.

Love Piglet :flowers:

[kazzie]

Thanks Lis and Piglet:hugs:

Well he is at the chapel of rest now and not stuck in a drawer in the mortuary so I feel a little better

Off to the undertakers on Mon or Tues to make all the arrangements

Thank You all again for the love and support you have all shown me in recent weeks:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[happyone]

if this post comes up twice, i apologise, pc is playing up.

Kazzie, I am pleased Mikes body has been released, if pleased is an apt description.
A funeral/service will give Mike the last dignity he deserves and as a Scot I can assure you, a better spot could not have been chosen.

Mike is at peace now hunny, rest assured. The pain of this world can no longer hurt.

You are a wonderful person Kaz, Mike would have been glad to have you.

Take care

Happyone
xx

[kazzie]

Awww Thanks Happy:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Quirky]

Still thinking of you mate :hugs:

Lisa x

[Karen]

Hi Kaz

Sorry I've only just caught up with the latest news.

I am glad things are moving forward and you can finally say goodbye. Scattering his ashes at Loch Lomard sounds very peaceful. You have done all you can for him in life and so he can rest peacefully now.

My thoughts are with you Kaz :hugs:

Karen xx

[kazzie]

Thanks Lis and Karen:hugs:

Have just found the perfect poem to read at funeral about Loch Lomond so pleased about that:yesyes:

Sleep well both

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[happyone]

:hugs: Happyone
xx

[honeybee3939]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Hugs Kazzie!

Andrea
xxxx

[kazzie]

Thanks Guys:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x

[Lindalou64]

:hugs: :hugs: hugs for ya kaz i know its tough hun, your doing good tho, my thots are with ya :hugs: .........linda tc xxx

[Quirky]

Still thinking of you :hugs:

Lisa x

[Piglet]

Special hugs :hugs:

Piglet x

[Karen]

(((Hugs))) Kaz :hugs:

Karen xx

[kazzie]

Thank You all so much:hugs:

Well the funeral is set for 29th May at 2.20pm at Southampton Crematorium!!

Ive got to do all the catering but as an ex chef wont be a problem and the landlord of my local is letting us have the afterwards bit there

We are having 50 helium filled balloons with cards on them for people to write messages on to him and letting them go in the pub garden (soppy I know lol)

Will try and give him a good old scottish send off!!!

Oh well 15 more days till I say goodbye to him for ever:weep:

Thanks again for all the support:yesyes:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[nomorepanic]

Kazzie

I hope it goes well for you all and I think the balloon idea is really lovely.

Sending you a hug mate.

[happyone]

I think the balloon idea is a lovely one.
:hugs:
Happyone
xx

[Quirky]

Hi Kaz,

I hope the funeral goes well for you all mate and I like the balloon idea, that's lovely.

Try not to think of it as saying goodbye forever though, he is still in your heart and memories and nothing can ever change that :hugs:

Take care,

Lisa x

[kazzie]

Aww thanks Nic Happy and Lis:hugs:

Was wondering if the balloon thing was a bit ott but glad you all think its good and they are orange balloons his fave colour!!!

Loads coming to funeral........yikes ......got to feed about 50 people but I will cope I hope!!!!!

So glad Dave has given me the pub to do it in my house is so small had a job to fit in 20 at my sons 21st a few weeks ago!!!!!


Thanks again

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Piglet]

Kaz - I think the balloon idea is really lovely too hun. :hugs:

Love Piglet xx

[Karen]

I agree with what others have said that the balloon idea is really good.

Sounds like you've got a busy and emotional time coming up. It is good to have a date arranged.

You are coping so well and we are all with you in spirit :hugs:

Karen xx

[honeybee3939]

Hi kazzie

Im in spirit with you too hun !:hugs:

I think you are coping with all this marvellous ! im really proud of you !

Hugs
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[kazzie]

Thanks Piglet Karen and Andrea:hugs:

I guess I am coping ok but got a lot of support around me and I sure couldent get through it without all you lovely people on nmp:hugs:

Well finished clearing his flat today so thats done at least!!!

Got his ring through the post from the hospital today so that was sad:weep:

Two weeks today and the funeral will be over

Thanks again for all the love and support:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Quirky]

Still thinking of you Kaz and proud of how you're coping :hugs:

Lisa x

[kazzie]

Hi Everyone:hugs:

I forgot to mention that I have a real phobia of crematoriums!!!!!

So today I summoned every bit of nerve I have and went and sat in the car right outside the chapel where Mikes service will be!!!

I was terrified shaking grabbing hubbys jacket but using the good old cbt method I made myself sit there until it passed (well almost passed)

Dont know if this was a good idea or not but if I cant get over this I can see me losing it totally on the day and thats gonna look really good(not)

Think I will need another trip there before the day and a bit more exposure therapy

Just thought Id share this with you all lol

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Piglet]

Kaz - well done hun.

Proud of you for doing that and you should be too - you are a very proactive lady and all kudos to you for that! :hugs:

Love Piglet :flowers:

[happyone]

well done Kaz,

I'm sure you will be ok on the day, but know what hun? If you weren't don't worry. Not a person around you will worry.
Take care
Happyone
:hugs:

[honeybee3939]

Hi Kazzie

WELL DONE for making the trip to the cremetorium, must have been real hard for you hun.

:hugs: :hugs:

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[Quirky]

Hi Kaz,

Well done for managing that today, very proactive :hugs:

It really doesn't matter what happens at the funeral though, people expect others to be upset, anxious or whatever, it's very normal and understandable under the circumstances.

So proud of you :flowers:

Lisa x

[kazzie]

Thanks Everyone!!:hugs:

Well had a pig of a day today I had to sign Mikes dog over to the animal charity but he has a lovely new home already, give back the keys to his flat , and go to the undertakers and sign forms galore relating to the cremation!!!

Fun City!!!! lol

Well not long to go till the funeral now!!!!

Undertaker did raise an eyebrow at choice of music at service tho!!!

Female of the specis by space

Terry Jacks seasons in the sun

Cher do you believe in life after love!!!

All his faves tho!!!


Thanks again for the support!!:yesyes:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Quirky]

Sounds like a tough day Kaz, well done for coping so well :hugs:

Glad his dog has a nice new home to go to aswell.

Sounds like it will be a very special service with the balloons and music he loved.

Take care, thinking of you,

Lisa x

[honeybee3939]

Hi Kazzie

Love the choice of songs, there some of my favorites too:)

your doing so well and been so strong, proud of you Kazzie!:flowers: :flowers: :flowers:

hugs
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[kazzie]

Thanks Lis and Andrea:hugs:

Well it will be an off the wall funeral lol but he was an off the wall kind of guy:yesyes:

Thank you for your support:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[happyone]

I think you are planning an amazing funeral for someone who sounds like an amazing person!
Good on ya hunny!

Happyone
xx

[kazzie]

Awwww thanks happyone!!!!

Doing my best and hope there will be more smiles on the day than tears!!!!!

Luv Kaz xx x :hugs:

[Piglet]

I like those choices too - sang a bit of 'Female of the species' in my head as soon as I read it. I have to say Seasons in the sun makes me cry everytime I hear it these days, funny cos when I was a kid it bored me but I guess that's what years of life experiences do for you.

When they play it Kaz I will be giving you a silent squeeze! :hugs:

Piglet :flowers:

[kazzie]

Awwwwww Thanks Piglet:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x

[Quirky]

Still thinking of you :hugs:

Lisa x

[jitterbug]

Sorry for ur loss kazzie hun, not really sure what advice to give you other than give urself time...Rome wasnt built in a day after all! *BIG safe HUGS* take care hun xxx

[kazzie]

Thanks Lis and Jitter:hugs:

My panic attacks are back with a vengence again cos of all this:shrug:

Im so dreading the funeral its untrue!!!!

Thanks again for all the support:yesyes:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Karen]

Aww Kaz you have been through such a lot lately and it is not surprising you are experiencing anxiety and are stressed.

I think you are coping amazingly well. We will be here to support you through the funeral :hugs:

Karen xx

[Quirky]

Hi Kaz,

It's not surprising you feel like that at the moment, you're doing really well and you will get through this :hugs:

Lisa x

[Piglet]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Piglet xx

[kazzie]

Thanks Karen Lis and Piglet!!!:hugs:

Just wish I could take my laptop to the crematorium and have You all there with me on the day lol:yesyes:

Have to admit cant wait to see the look on the vicars face when female of the specis is belting out!!!!



Oh well only 8 days to go now!!!!

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Quirky]

Just wish I could take my laptop to the crematorium and have You all there with me on the day


We will all be thinking about you on the day mate so it will sort of be like we're all there with you :hugs:

Lisa x

[Karen]

Aw Kaz I wish we could be with you in person :hugs:

I echo what Lisa has said - we will be thinking of you and will be there with you in spirit :hugs:

Karen xx

[kazzie]

Thanks Lis and Karen:hugs:

Well the police phoned me today to say they are still working on the case:shrug:

The fureral is a week tomm and Im getting really anxious now:weep:

Thanks again for all the support

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Piglet]

Kaz hun - :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Piglet :flowers:

[Quirky]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Thinking of you,

Lisa x

[honeybee3939]

Im thinking of you too Kazzie:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[kazzie]

Thanks Piglet Lis and Andrea:flowers: :flowers: :flowers:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[manmoor]

Thinking of you Kazzie hun. xxx :hugs:

[stace81]

Thinking of you kazz. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[kazzie]

Thanks Moo and Stace and all

Well the vicar phoned today coming to see us on Thursday

Bought a wicked top tonight to wear to funeral.......floral and floaty with loads of plastic gems round neck:ohmy:

Wearing black top and leggins under it tho

Mike would have loved it:yesyes:

Thanks again guys:yesyes:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Piglet]

Aww that sounds brill.

I'm never keen on totally black at funerals - I myself will have a ban on it althogether.

Big hugs hun.

Piglet xx

[honeybee3939]

Bought a wicked top tonight to wear to funeral.......floral and floaty with loads of plastic gems round neck:ohmy:

Wearing black top and leggins under it tho


Sounds lovely kazzie :hugs: :hugs:

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[Quirky]

Hope the appt with the vicar goes ok tomorrow Kaz :hugs:

Still thinking of you :flowers:

Lisa x

[kazzie]

Thanks Piglet Andrea and Lis:flowers:

Tommorrow is going to be a tough one!!!:weep:

Got to see the vicar and then collect Mikes best mate Ian from the coach station....he is down from Scotland for 2 weeks for the funeral and he is staying with us!!!

Gonna be weird having him kipping on the sofa for 2 whole weeks:shrug:

Ahh well not long now till Tuesday thank God

Thank You all again for the support:yesyes:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Karen]

I will be thinking of you tomorrow Kaz :hugs: I hope it goes ok.

Your outfit sounds lovely.

Karen xx

[honeybee3939]

Hi Kazzie

Hope all goes well tommo hun , i will be thinking of you :hugs: :hugs:

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx

[Piglet]

:hugs:

Love Piglet xx

[Quirky]

Thinking of you :hugs:

Lisa x

[honeybee3939]

Hi Kazzie

Hope today as gone well for you hun !!

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[happyone]

Thinking of you Kazzie:hugs:

Happyone
xx

[kazzie]

Wish it had been today!!!!!

The funeral is on tuesday at 2.20pm!!!!

Mikes best mate is here now staying for 2 weeks and he is winding me up already!!!:lac:

Well saw the vicar and thats all sorted!!

Thanks again for the support guys:yesyes:

Luv Kaz x x xx:hugs:

[yorkylover]

Thinking of you Kazz:hugs: :hugs:

[Piglet]

:hugs:

Piglet x

[honeybee3939]

Hugs Kazzie !!

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Love
Andrea
xxxx

[traciec39]

hi kazzie

Just want to wish you well for tuesday babe, it will be hard, but you will get through it hunni!!

will be thinking of you

take good care
luv tracie xxxx

[shoegal]

Thinking of you Kazzie :flowers: :flowers: :flowers:

Love and hugs from shoegal xxx

[Quirky]

Still thinking of you :hugs:

Lisa x

[kazzie]

Thank You all so much:hugs:

Im very wobbly tonight as it is nearly here now:weep:

Got to cook all the food tomm so busy day for me

I just dont know how I am going to get thru the next 48 hours:weep:

Thank You all agin for all the love and support these last 7 weeks:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[honeybee3939]

Hi Kazzie

We are all here to help and support you hun !! and still thinking of you !:)

Want to send you some positive vibes for the next 48 hours! here if you need me!

Hugs:hugs: :hugs:

Andrea
xxxxx

[kazzie]

Thanks Andrea:hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Karen]

Just sending you some hugs Kaz :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Karen xx

[kazzie]

Thanks Karen:hugs:

Going through hell tonight !!!!


Luv Kaz x x x x:hugs:

[Piglet]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Piglet xx

[happyone]

Thinking of you hun. i know the time is drawing ever near, but tomorrow will be the day you can say your goodbyes. try to think of it as a positive ending with the lovely service you have organised.

:hugs:
happyone
xx

[honeybee3939]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[manmoor]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: KAZZIE :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: xxx

[jo61]

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow Kazzie. Hope it all goes well and will be a fitting farewell.

:hugs:

[Quirky]

Thinking of you Kaz,

I hope tomorrow goes ok, sounds like you have a lovely service planned :hugs:

Lisa x

[yorkylover]

Hope all goes well tomorrow Kazz.:bighug:

[kazzie]

Thank You all so much:hugs:

I will post tomm or wed and then close this thread for good!!!!

Thank You all so much for everything!!:hugs:

Love to you all

Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Quirky]

Will be thinking of you tomorrow Kaz :hugs:

Lisa x

[Quirky]

Thinking of you Kaz. Hope the funeral went ok :hugs:

Lisa x

[happyone]

Hey Kaz,
hope it went well hunny:hugs:

happyone
xx

[Piglet]

Thinking of you hun. :hugs:

Piglet xx

[Karen]

I hope you are ok Kaz :hugs:

Thinking of you.

Karen xx

[honeybee3939]

Hi Kazz

Hope you are ok too hun !

Hugs
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[yorkylover]

Hope you are ok Kazz.:hugs: :hugs:

[kazzie]

Hi All of You:hugs:

Well sorry for the vanishing act!!!!

The funeral passed without a hitch the flowers were lovely and I was fine:yesyes:

Except in the early hours of Tues morning I awoke with awful tummy pains anyhow to cut a long story short I have pancreitis Ive been too poorlyall week to even switch pc on!!!

Im waiting at the mo to here if I have to go into hospital or not had more tests this morning!!!

Thinking of you all but off back to bed now feeling sooooo ruff!!!!!

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[Piglet]

Aww - Kaz hun I am so sorry you feel so rough.

Have a big squeeze and please let us know how you get on - you know what a lot of worriers we are and we miss you even if you are not here for a day etc.

Love Piglet :flowers:

[honeybee3939]

Aww Kazzie

Sorry to hear you are not well, hope you are feeling better soon !

Here are some hugs for you hun :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[happyone]

Kazzie hunny, poor you. :hugs: I do hope you feel better soon.

happyone
xx

[kazzie]

Piglet sorry to worry you:hugs:

Andrea Piglet and Happy Thanks:hugs:

Im moving this to a new thread called a whinge under misc now as death is no longer appropriate!!!!:yesyes:

Thank You everyone who has supported me through all of this:hugs: :hugs:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs: