HA after legitimate health scare

[Worrywart1234]

Please forgive the long post. I am new to this forum, and you all seem so encouraging that I am just going to lay it all out for you. I'm hoping for some logical positivity...

About 4 years ago I had my adrenal gland removed along with a benign tumour. During the surgery, a major vein was accidentally cut and I almost died. I ended up having 2 surgeries and on life support for a couple of days.

Anyway, a year or 2 later they found a small tumour on my other adrenal gland. I think everyone on here knows what I've been going through ever since...

My doctor has told me it is very small and stable - but it does need to be checked on this year, or she said she would even be happy to leave it til next year. She also said that a CT scan does not automatically mean surgery (because I asked) and is referring me to see a psychologist.

I feel in the best physical shape I've been in for years and have no symptoms, but I can't help being terrified that when I have the scan I will be told I have cancer and will need an operation and I will end up dead.

I also have to have an endoscopy this year because of some thickening they found in a little bit of my intestines in the same scan. The specialist at the hospital told me it was most likely nothing, maybe Crohn's disease... but again, I am terrified they will find cancer and say I need surgery that will also kill me.

Logically, I know I am feeling the best I have in 4 years and have been told by doctors that things are ok. But I live with a constant feeling of dread and terror and just don't know how to talk myself out of it.

Please help me see that I am ok....

[Capercrohnj]

Thickening in the intestines on scans usually means inflammation or scar tissue. It would be unusual for crohn's to cause only a little bit of inflammation go it sounds like the doctor is right, it's nothing.

I understand your fear though. I have been deathly ill and every time I start to flare I fear I will die.

[ErinKC]

I think it is completely normal to have fear like this after a traumatic experience like you had. My HA started after a real health emergency also. It shook my confidence and caused a bit of post traumatic stress.

[Fishmanpa]

As a survivor, I understand your fear over this. I call it "scanxiety". I was troubled a bit by this after my cancer. I also dealt with some depression. For me, the stress manifested itself as irritability and sleep issues. I sought therapy, had a chill pill as needed and used some CBT techniques to overcome and move on.

Now, 4 years out and NED, I'm good :) When you face a real health situation, it gives you a perspective many here don't have. It also gives you an advantage as it shows you just how strong you can be when faced with a real life health situation. Learning how to tap into that strength to help cope is what's needed to overcome this fear.

Look into therapy and/or meds if needed and learn how to challenge the negativity. As you know, life is far too precious to worry ;)

Positive thoughts