Scared of cancer again, breast cancer this time

[purplejelly]

For a few months I have noticed one breast in particular is very painful for about half the month. It seemed to be getting worse so I went to the doctor who told me it felt 'lumpier' than the other side, and to go back after my period. I did this and the lump is still there (for some reason I have never managed to find the lump).

She said she thinks I've got a cyst in there and it's nothing nasty but I've been referred on the two week wait which has completely freaked me out.

Since my first visit to the doctors the pain has got less due to the time of the month, but it's still there and seems to have spread to my armpit/arm. Now I'm starting to worry about lymph nodes:weep: My husband tells me that it's only 'spread' because I'm anxious about it and he does have a point because my anxiety has led to me thinking about cancer spreading before now.

I've looked at my posts on here and I have posted about suspected bladder cancer and ovarian cancer which I have had tests for and came back as nothing to worry about. But I can't get away from this 'cancer phobia'. I have two small children and the thought of leaving them and my husband is what terrifies me, along with any operations as I have a phobia of anaesthetics.

If this lump is nothing to bother about then I'm seriously going to look at tackling my health anxiety.

[PASchoolSyndrome]

I 100% percent think you should start tackling your anxiety, but don't wait to do it, just do it now. Even Googling home anxiety tricks could help you get through this particular spiral. HA is a disease in itself and without proper treatment (ie anxiety techniques) it could really ruin your life.

I relate, for me my fear of dying isn't because of my life, but the life of others I'd leave behind. It's scary.

Painful lumps that appear with your cycle are also 100% nothing to worry about. Just another great part of being a female. I hope your appointment is able to give you some peace of mind, but treat your anxiety now because that peace of mind won't last long otherwise.

[beatroon]

I agree with PASchoolSyndrome! Why wait to tackle something you already know is bothering you? I am sure your breast question will turn out to be fine - I have one boob that's lumpier than the other, such things are pretty common - but in the meantime, you can absolutely get the jump on the anxiety.

My anxiety has moved on to other things but my HA was all about fear of not being there for my family - so in a way it was a kind of separation anxiety I guess, or fear about not fulfilling my lifelong dreams. It calmed down when I took definitive steps towards the things I'd dreamt of for a long time but never risked doing. That's just one personal story, and as I say other problems did surface in time, but at least I managed to do a few personal goals along the way :)

I reckon a bit of counselling/CBT might also help you!

[purplejelly]

Thank you for the replies.

I have had CBT before but for general anxiety, not health anxiety. I got to grips with the general anxiety after the CBT and a meditation course I went on with the NHS, I found the meditation particularly helpful.

The health anxiety seems harder to shift though and has definitely got worse in the last couple of years. Even though the doctor told me there's nothing nasty in there, I still have doubts. She said they might drain the cyst. I then think, what if they find it won't drain, then I have to have it removed with anaesthetic, then it's malignant, then they find it's spread to the lymph nodes etc etc. It just mushrooms. I am so cross with myself, but all the time I can't stop thinking the worst

[purplejelly]

Well I have now found the lump. It's soft and moves about, it's right in my breast, I'm not sure I've ever felt that far into it before.

I'm having a big panic because I've looked at myself in the mirror when my arms are down and the side with the breast lump seems to also have a swollen area in front of my armpit (bigger than the other side).

I've also got strange feelings down both of my upper arms and in my elbows. They don't feel right.

My appointment is on the 22nd but I'm not sure I can wait that long. When I made the appointment online it said on the referral in capitals CANCER NOT SUSPECTED. Well I still suspect it especially after seeing my armpit. :frown:

I also keep getting a pain in my upper back ribs, behind the breast involved.

[Blonde123]

Aw Purplejelly, I found a lump in my right breast after feeling worried about breast cancer. It totally freaked me out. My Dr was great and sent me for a mammogram and ultrasound on a 2ww. A 2ww is totally standard for any lump found anywhere on the body. The wait send me bonkers though! Turns out I have fibro adenoma which is a benign ump. It still there but at times in my cycle I get painful boobs, funny tingling sensations, it looks lumpier etc etc. Try not to worry xx

[purplejelly]

Thanks Blonde123. My doctor was late 50s and must have felt a lot of lumps so I'm crossing my fingers that she knows what she's talking about

[purplejelly]

I just wanted to say that my problem turned out to be lots of small cysts, so nothing to worry about. I'd almost convinced myself it was cancer. So for anyone searching these forums thinking they have breast cancer, try to remember that most of the time it's nothing much.