Feel like giving up

[Alexldn89]

I've had anxiety for around six months or a bit longer and I used to get the worst panic attacks.

I would sit and out of the blue would come pins and needles all over my body and this quick reaction of "I'm going to die It's my heart I need an ambulance"
Amongst other feelings BUT that was the common feeling.

Anyway after starting propanolol and taking St. John's wort with trying to help myself mentally I stopped getting the panic attacks until last week I had what felt like the start of one but I controlled it, got upset after but it went away.. YAY
The only thing is, the other side of anxiety now spends its time in my head.
The horrible dark side and I am actually really happy right now, I'm getting married in December my jobs okay, laughing a lot etc

But it's like once one thing is longer a reason to worry anxiety picks on something else so a big thing for me was, I was worried about my mental health, am I going mad, what if I killed someone or myself by mistake, what if I lost my mind and ended up alone. And I still have those thoughts but I sorta laugh and say go awayyyy .. I've acknowledged you but it's bs so bye.

The new thing is paranoia and blurry vision.. I can't catch a break
My eyes keep getting flashing lights and floaters .. then people tell me that sounds like something dangerous which makes it worse.
Then on top of that this new thing of paranoia ...

I'm not a hugely paranoid person but yesterday when out with a friend I haven't seen in a long time in a town that probably harbours a few bad memories for me I felt so paranoid .. on two occasions I was worried by two sets of people and o was thinking.. what if that's someone I used to know and he wants to kill me .. really weird
But it's upset me because then my brain starts up again with "maybe it's paranoid schizophrenia" maybe I'm going mad.

I'm so fed up, I feel so alone with it. No one understands they just think I'm losing the plot or am being over the top. I get scared I am actually going crazy and I know people feel that way sometimes but im so tired of feeling alone ..
I don't know how to cope with it, some people say they've never experience those thoughts or feelings before and that makes me more frightened.

I don't know I just sometimes feel like giving up with it ..

[Kuatir]

It's hard to sympathise with somebody who has a mental health issue when they haven't experienced it themselves. The uneducated will associate Anxiety as you just feeling really anxious. So yeah, it can be very lonely.

It's not Schizophrenia. You wouldn't be questioning your thoughts like you are.

It is anxiety, I've experienced the majority of what you have described. If you are not already you should see about getting some support in the form of therapy. You're in the UK so you can call the IAPT service without referral, hopefully you have the service in your area. I completed a stress control course with them (it looks at anxiety/depression etc.) and it really helped me help myself.

[Alexldn89]

It's hard to sympathise with somebody who has a mental health issue when they haven't experienced it themselves. The uneducated will associate Anxiety as you just feeling really anxious. So yeah, it can be very lonely.

It's not Schizophrenia. You wouldn't be questioning your thoughts like you are.

It is anxiety, I've experienced the majority of what you have described. If you are not already you should see about getting some support in the form of therapy. You're in the UK so you can call the IAPT service without referral, hopefully you have the service in your area. I completed a stress control course with them (it looks at anxiety/depression etc.) and it really helped me help myself.

Thank you for your comment!
Good to know I'm not alone in how I feel.
I have been in constant with icope and need to make an appointment with them for an assessment.
I guess it scares me that they'll tell me it's worse than it is or something maybe?! I really don't want to be told I may be better if I take more drugs .. I don't know if they can advise or not but that worries me.
How do you feel now after help and the course?
Is your anxiety surrounding anything in particular like me with my health or is it general?!

I feel most days lke my anxiety becomes general because the blurry vision follows me everywhere and the worry etc
Sometimes I don't know what I should be doing to help it become a little easier.. any ideas or things you've been taught that are helpful?

Thank you xx

[Kuatir]

I still have bad days\weeks sometimes, but I manage OK. This week has been tough, the thing is I've not really nailed down why I get anxious. I am in the camp where I seem to get symptoms before I feel anxious. It is probably just that I've become susceptible to general stress as work and difficult situations seem to make me worse.

Regarding health anxiety; before I was diagnosed with anxiety I was anxious about my health. Once I was diagnosed I just got on with treating the anxiety so I've not really had too many other health concerns as I am able to reason how anxiety can cause a symptom.

If it helps I did create a thread with a link for the Stress Control course notes. It's here (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=195808)

Like you I was prescribed Propranolol. I took 40mg twice a day for two weeks and then stopped and only take it when I am really bad and just need a break. That was advised by my doctor.

Mindfulness helps. Breathing and muscle relaxation exercises really help me. Facing my fears is a big one. If the anxiety tells me not to do something that I could do easily before (supermarket shopping was a big one) I carry on and let the anxiety do its worst. Over time these things have become easier.

Also telling myself that something is anxiety helps. I got bad chest pains yesterday. Heart attack immediately springs to mind, but I reason that it's anxiety because it is a common symptom cause by muscle tension. Did some breathing exercises and rode it out. It soon went.

So in essence, Mindfulness, Facing Fear and acceptance are probably the most important ways that I deal with this.

I hope that ramble makes some sense!

[lifeofbrian]

Anxiety can really mess your mind up mate, my best advise is keep on top of the care side of it, make sure you are getting professional health before it snowballs into something more serious. I hope it all turns around.

:bighug1:

[Alexldn89]

Anxiety can really mess your mind up mate, my best advise is keep on top of the care side of it, make sure you are getting professional health before it snowballs into something more serious. I hope it all turns around.

:bighug1:

My doctor said the only thing anxiety can really do is cause you to stop doing things and it really is mind over matter. He did say it can't really turn into anything else and it is what it is .. which is good really because you know that your dealing with that particular thing if you know what I mean.
What did you mean by snowball into something more serious?
Thank you, I'm okay, it's a long road ahead but I feel I'm only taking steps forward at the moment I guess xx

[lifeofbrian]

By more serious I mean the extras that often come with anxiety, like health anxiety, social phobia, agoraphobia and depression. Unfortunately I got em all.


My doctor said the only thing anxiety can really do is cause you to stop doing things and it really is mind over matter. He did say it can't really turn into anything else and it is what it is .. which is good really because you know that your dealing with that particular thing if you know what I mean.
What did you mean by snowball into something more serious?
Thank you, I'm okay, it's a long road ahead but I feel I'm only taking steps forward at the moment I guess xx

[Bittersweet05]

Hi there. Hang in there. I have had anxiety for 4 years when y father passed away. You say you beat it before you can control it. I know people dont understand because it easier said then done. You sound like you are happy in your like. Dont let the nasty anxiety ruin it. As noted before it is a monster in your head. I am struggling now as well with health anxiety and i should not google. I have been dealing with issues too. You can do it!!!!

[Alexldn89]

Hi there. Hang in there. I have had anxiety for 4 years when y father passed away. You say you beat it before you can control it. I know people dont understand because it easier said then done. You sound like you are happy in your like. Dont let the nasty anxiety ruin it. As noted before it is a monster in your head. I am struggling now as well with health anxiety and i should not google. I have been dealing with issues too. You can do it!!!!

Thank you!
It's funny because it's so hard to control isn't it!
I have good and bad days, I love my life even right now when I'm bored and feel so lost I'm still in love with all the things that are yet to happen it's just when that monster rears his ugly head you seem to lose any good feelings don't you!
Four years wow! There's me hoping I can get rid of it before December..
I am determined though! I don't take medication for it so I'm probably not helping myself in that department but I feel I need to put mind over matter and I don't want to become a slave to meds ya know?!
Did you ever learn any good coping mechanisms?
Stay positive lovely! Health anxiety is awful isn't it! Thanks for sending a message xxx

---------- Post added at 15:28 ---------- Previous post was at 15:27 ----------


By more serious I mean the extras that often come with anxiety, like health anxiety, social phobia, agoraphobia and depression. Unfortunately I got em all.

My heart defiantly goes out to you! But you are still here and that shows amazing determination in your situation. I hope eventually it gets better for you xxx