Depression? Anxiety? I'm Confused!

[mico]

Wasn't sure where to put this one, I was going to put it into the 'Depression' forum, but I guess the title says it all, so I thought I'd put it here.

Lately, I've been pondering over the idea of depression and whether it affects me. Surely you'll know if you're depressed or not. Or do you? What I do know, is that I've come to a bit of a hurdle in my path forward, but don't know how to tackle it. Anyway, I'll try to describe it...

I really don't know where to start with this. There is one issue I have difficulty with, and is something I don't often discuss because it's the type of thing people jump to conclusions too.

I can't get out of bed in the morning!

Depression? Anxiety? Or just plain lazyness? I really don't know.

I've always been a heavy sleeper, and have never been the 'morning type', but that is not what I'm talking about. I can actually wake up, but still not surface for another 2 hours. I will argue with myself (not out loud, the men in white coats would come for me! :D) for hours, telling myself to get out of bed. But it's like there is two parts to me, and the other part will not allow me to get up, it seems like too much of a task to take on. Now I do sound lazy!. But that is the way it seems for me. It appears that I don't have the motivation to deal with the day ahead, which brings me to the idea of depression. Although most of the day, I wouldn't consider myself to be unhappy, frustrated yes, but not greatly unhappy. Which is leading me too confusion. Does that sound like depression?

Someone said something to me the other week, which struck a chord. They said something about not wanting to deal with being conscious. I've always been a daydreamer, anytime of the day, you could see me and it's a good possibilty that you'll catch me staring into space. Much of the time I don't even know what I'm thinking about, I'll have a think as to what I'm thinking about, and simply can't think of what it is (Sorry if I'm confusing you there :)). But it's as if, sometimes, I'm not actually thinking about anything, as though I'm just switching off from consciousness. A defense mechanism maybe? Does anyone else experience this? Or more importantly do you know why?

The thing is, the 'consciousness' thing I described above, seems very much related to the 'morning' thing I described before. As I lie in bed on a morning, I have that 'switched off' feeling, like I don't want to become conscious. Lately, I've been laying there, semi-switched off, just trying to finder an answer as to why I feel like this, and getting very annoyed in the process, yet still not managing to get up.

This actually affects me throughout the day, living in a dream world. Which in turn is zapping any motivation I have. I do have motivation, the difficulty I have is coming out of the dream world into the conscious world and putting it into action. It just seems a huge strain. Maybe I am just lazy, and need to get into a different routine. I'm just finding it really confusing.

So what's your conclusion. Depression? Anxiety? Or just Lazy?

Do any of you feel like this? I have a lot of determination to beat my anxiety, but I've been stuck with this lately, and am finding it very difficult to even know what to do about it. I keep looking for answers, but that is just sending me back into the dream world, and out of action (if that makes sense). And I have yet to come across a decent answer to it. I know it's there, but it seems I'm looking in all the wrong places. So I thought I'd ask you guys.

Any Opinions?


Sorry for the long post! [:P]

...And such a deep question! [:P][:P]



Mico the Confused

[sal]

Hi Mico

I would definately dismiss lazziness, as we all like our lies now and then. I always find with me if i am feeling anxious it makes me feel depressed as its another thing dragging you down.

Depression is where you want to stay in bed and been conscious as you say is hard work a lot harder than at the time we feel able to cope with, so i agree we have a tendancy to try and sleep more and not want to get up and face yet another day with that cloud over our head.

From reading your post i would say you have a mixture of both especially with you not wanting to get up.

Is there nothing you could do even if just once a week to start of where you have to get up early and go off and do something to distract you. Just start gradually as we all know that symptoms of depression and anxiety can become habit forming.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Take care.



Love Sal xxxxx

[mico]

Hi Sal

Your post does make a lot of sense. Thing is though, I do have things to get up for....I just don't. Well, no, actually I do, sometimes, and sometimes I don't. This is what I'm struggling with, it's reached a point where I do have things to do, but often brush it off.

You're probably right about habit forming too. I'm just struggling to find a way out.

Thanks

mico

[sal]

I know how hard it is as i went through that although i had things to do i just couldnt focus on getting up and doing them. Why not try and just out of one day get up and do the things you have to do and see how it goes. It is hard but you will have to really push yourself but once motivated you might find it a lot easier than you imagined.



Love Sal xxxxx

[Karen]

Hi Mico

I think Sal is right in that depression and anxiety are closely linked, and having one can lead to having symptoms of the other.

I suffer with depression and often feel I cannot face getting out of bed in the morning. It seems much safer to remain in bed and 'daydream' the day away instead of getting up and facing up to thing. I do try to make myself get up, eventually.

Other symptoms of depression I have are:

Persistent low mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in activities that were once enjoyed
Decreased energy and tiredness
Difficulty concentrating, poor memory, inability to make decisions
Insomnia and early-morning awakening
Thoughts of suicide

I hope this helps.



Karen



It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

[Meg]

Mico,

It is now a recognised fact that some people really are not meant to be morning people and that their cognitive and physical systems do not kick in adequately for optimum functioning for a period of time post awaking.

Their circadian rhythms are just built that way .

This tends to affect more right brained people than left but can affect anyone. It can change overtime with necessity but left to their own devices the old pattern re emerges .





Meg

It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.

[mico]

<b id="quote">quote:</b id="quote"><table border="0" id="quote"><tr id="quote"><td class="quote" id="quote">It is now a recognised fact that some people really are not meant to be morning people and that their cognitive and physical systems do not kick in adequately for optimum functioning for a period of time post awaking.

Their circadian rhythms are just built that way .
<div align="right">Originally posted by Meg - 26 October 2004 : 15:11:19</div id="right">
</td id="quote"></tr id="quote"></table id="quote">

Wow, I have a scientific excuse for my lazyness! ;)

Seriously though. It isn't just a morning thing, like I said before, I'm not really a morning person and never have been, so I don't expect to be jumping out of bed at the crack of dawn. On top of that, it isn't just confined to getting out of bed either. Sometimes I'll sit here at my computer, checking messages and so forth, but half the time I won't even be reading much, I think I just like sitting here sometimes because I can just drift off into a trance like state, ignoring real things in the world.

If I want to go real deep into this, I can start talking about a fear I have, which I don't normally associate so much with my anxiety and is something that existed long before my anxiety. For as long as I can remember, every now and again, I will feel a twinge of fear as I contemplate the uncertainty of life. I guess that's probably true for a lot of people. But with me, my natural reaction is to hide away from it. Which is why I pondered over the idea of 'not wanting to be conscious' being a defence mechanism.

Having said that, I think this has always been there to an extent, but at most times of my life it has been barely noticable. Just at times it rears its head and annoys the **** out of me! Like now. :)

If I know what to do to get out of it, I will do it. But at the moment I just feel so confused with it, I feel I need to find an answer and put 100% into that. If I don't find an answer, I feel powerless.

Sorry for the long post, again!. I think half of this is just as much for me as it is you, sometimes I just need to write these things down to get them clearer in my head.

Thanks Meg, and Bri.....eh, Karen ;)

mico

[nomorepanic]

Hi Mico

I am most definitely not a morning person but in the week when I have to get up for work I can be up and out the house in 20 minutes.

At weekends I can (and have) stayed there all day.

I think you need a reason to get up and get going. If there is no reason to get up and get out then why bother.

Can you make little projects for yourself to do each day so you have a reason to get up and about.

Maybe some of what you are suffering from is depression - have you had any form of counselling atall?

Nicola

[jo-jo]

Hiya Mico

You're not lazy hun LOL

Difficulty getting up in the morning is one symptom of depression but just because you find it hard to get up doesn't necessarily mean you are depressed. My hubby for example would lie in bed until midday given half the chance as it takes him ages to 'come round' but on the other hand he likes to stay up late (which I don't)!

Have a look at the list Karen has posted - do any of the other symptoms she's described apply to you?

I can understand what you mean about fear and uncertainty as I get those feelings too sometimes, especially when I'm on my own and Steve is away for a few days. I suffered depression twice during the four years I was on my own and I swear it had a lot to do with feeling lonely and isolated and of course now when I'm alone, those feelings can creep back up on me.

The important thing to remember with depression is that it should be viewed as a continuum, for example you could score 0 for being not at all depressed and 10 for being the worst possible depressed. Most people move up and down this scale at various points over time, and in fact it can easily change by the hour or even minute. Depression is an issue when you consistently feel sad, low, or lack motivation over a period of two weeks or more.

Whether or not you have depression I can't really say from the information you've provided but I think that Nic is right in that counselling might be beneficial to you - it seems that you have a lot of thoughts going on right now and a counsellor might help you to make sense of these.

Hope you're feeling a little better :D

Best wishes, Jo xx

[pips]

Hi Mico,

I find it so hard sometimes do get up partically if I have had a bad night with the anxiety and haven't slept much. So then I stay in bed and then feel guilty that I stayed in bed! Can't win hey!

I still get days where I feel very tearful and depressed and don't really have an explanation.I think the key is to try and not to think/analize to much about it and how you are feeling as I know myself the more I think about how I am feeling and try to ratinolize and disect it. The worse I feel. I do appreciate it's easier said than done though!! I'm still learning that art!

As with the day dreaming. Perhaps you are doing this unconsiously as a form of escapism. Which is fine to do now and then.

I hope you feel better soon.

Take care,

Love PIP'S XX

[sal]

Hi Mico

You have had some good replies and i hope you are feeling a bit better knowing we are all with you.

If you want to meet for another chat just let me know.

If i can help i will.



Love Sal xxxxx

[mico]

Thanks for the replies

I've been thinking about it, and to be honest, I just think I'm looking for an answer that doesn't exist. I just get like this at times, just kind of hiding away from the world. Which may well be brought on by a small amount of depression - I'm still unsure, I guess I do have some symptoms, but still wouldn't class myself as being greatly unhappy. But I don't think that is of great importance. I think I've probably just been looking at this far too deeply, although that's all part of hiding away I guess, so I it's a vicious circle. I think all I need to do is to build up some motivation and force myself back into a good routine, refresh myself, and most importantly notice when I'm 'hiding away' and do something about it. All I need is a good kick up the backside.

Still, your help has been much appreciated, now I've got it straight in my head, I know what to do, so I can get on with doing it!

Thanks again

mico