mico
26-10-04, 12:29
Wasn't sure where to put this one, I was going to put it into the 'Depression' forum, but I guess the title says it all, so I thought I'd put it here.
Lately, I've been pondering over the idea of depression and whether it affects me. Surely you'll know if you're depressed or not. Or do you? What I do know, is that I've come to a bit of a hurdle in my path forward, but don't know how to tackle it. Anyway, I'll try to describe it...
I really don't know where to start with this. There is one issue I have difficulty with, and is something I don't often discuss because it's the type of thing people jump to conclusions too.
I can't get out of bed in the morning!
Depression? Anxiety? Or just plain lazyness? I really don't know.
I've always been a heavy sleeper, and have never been the 'morning type', but that is not what I'm talking about. I can actually wake up, but still not surface for another 2 hours. I will argue with myself (not out loud, the men in white coats would come for me! :D) for hours, telling myself to get out of bed. But it's like there is two parts to me, and the other part will not allow me to get up, it seems like too much of a task to take on. Now I do sound lazy!. But that is the way it seems for me. It appears that I don't have the motivation to deal with the day ahead, which brings me to the idea of depression. Although most of the day, I wouldn't consider myself to be unhappy, frustrated yes, but not greatly unhappy. Which is leading me too confusion. Does that sound like depression?
Someone said something to me the other week, which struck a chord. They said something about not wanting to deal with being conscious. I've always been a daydreamer, anytime of the day, you could see me and it's a good possibilty that you'll catch me staring into space. Much of the time I don't even know what I'm thinking about, I'll have a think as to what I'm thinking about, and simply can't think of what it is (Sorry if I'm confusing you there :)). But it's as if, sometimes, I'm not actually thinking about anything, as though I'm just switching off from consciousness. A defense mechanism maybe? Does anyone else experience this? Or more importantly do you know why?
The thing is, the 'consciousness' thing I described above, seems very much related to the 'morning' thing I described before. As I lie in bed on a morning, I have that 'switched off' feeling, like I don't want to become conscious. Lately, I've been laying there, semi-switched off, just trying to finder an answer as to why I feel like this, and getting very annoyed in the process, yet still not managing to get up.
This actually affects me throughout the day, living in a dream world. Which in turn is zapping any motivation I have. I do have motivation, the difficulty I have is coming out of the dream world into the conscious world and putting it into action. It just seems a huge strain. Maybe I am just lazy, and need to get into a different routine. I'm just finding it really confusing.
So what's your conclusion. Depression? Anxiety? Or just Lazy?
Do any of you feel like this? I have a lot of determination to beat my anxiety, but I've been stuck with this lately, and am finding it very difficult to even know what to do about it. I keep looking for answers, but that is just sending me back into the dream world, and out of action (if that makes sense). And I have yet to come across a decent answer to it. I know it's there, but it seems I'm looking in all the wrong places. So I thought I'd ask you guys.
Any Opinions?
Sorry for the long post! [:P]
...And such a deep question! [:P][:P]
Mico the Confused
Lately, I've been pondering over the idea of depression and whether it affects me. Surely you'll know if you're depressed or not. Or do you? What I do know, is that I've come to a bit of a hurdle in my path forward, but don't know how to tackle it. Anyway, I'll try to describe it...
I really don't know where to start with this. There is one issue I have difficulty with, and is something I don't often discuss because it's the type of thing people jump to conclusions too.
I can't get out of bed in the morning!
Depression? Anxiety? Or just plain lazyness? I really don't know.
I've always been a heavy sleeper, and have never been the 'morning type', but that is not what I'm talking about. I can actually wake up, but still not surface for another 2 hours. I will argue with myself (not out loud, the men in white coats would come for me! :D) for hours, telling myself to get out of bed. But it's like there is two parts to me, and the other part will not allow me to get up, it seems like too much of a task to take on. Now I do sound lazy!. But that is the way it seems for me. It appears that I don't have the motivation to deal with the day ahead, which brings me to the idea of depression. Although most of the day, I wouldn't consider myself to be unhappy, frustrated yes, but not greatly unhappy. Which is leading me too confusion. Does that sound like depression?
Someone said something to me the other week, which struck a chord. They said something about not wanting to deal with being conscious. I've always been a daydreamer, anytime of the day, you could see me and it's a good possibilty that you'll catch me staring into space. Much of the time I don't even know what I'm thinking about, I'll have a think as to what I'm thinking about, and simply can't think of what it is (Sorry if I'm confusing you there :)). But it's as if, sometimes, I'm not actually thinking about anything, as though I'm just switching off from consciousness. A defense mechanism maybe? Does anyone else experience this? Or more importantly do you know why?
The thing is, the 'consciousness' thing I described above, seems very much related to the 'morning' thing I described before. As I lie in bed on a morning, I have that 'switched off' feeling, like I don't want to become conscious. Lately, I've been laying there, semi-switched off, just trying to finder an answer as to why I feel like this, and getting very annoyed in the process, yet still not managing to get up.
This actually affects me throughout the day, living in a dream world. Which in turn is zapping any motivation I have. I do have motivation, the difficulty I have is coming out of the dream world into the conscious world and putting it into action. It just seems a huge strain. Maybe I am just lazy, and need to get into a different routine. I'm just finding it really confusing.
So what's your conclusion. Depression? Anxiety? Or just Lazy?
Do any of you feel like this? I have a lot of determination to beat my anxiety, but I've been stuck with this lately, and am finding it very difficult to even know what to do about it. I keep looking for answers, but that is just sending me back into the dream world, and out of action (if that makes sense). And I have yet to come across a decent answer to it. I know it's there, but it seems I'm looking in all the wrong places. So I thought I'd ask you guys.
Any Opinions?
Sorry for the long post! [:P]
...And such a deep question! [:P][:P]
Mico the Confused