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View Full Version : Should I still be feeling like this.



RandomGeeza
09-03-17, 19:28
In a nutshell, 7 months ago (August 2016) I suffered a major health scare and ended up admitted and operated on. Google Bullectomy, Pleurectomy and Pleurodisis for the details if you are interested. It was a scary and very unforgiving time. When I came round from the anaesthetic I had my first (of many) panic attacks, demanding that my family leave me and refusing to take the opioid pain killers, I was on a morphine driver. The recovery nurse was very caring and sorted me out. However, things have never been the same since.

Within a month of the operation I had a nervous breakdown, as a result of health anxiety and body mistrust issues. I was prescribed 15mg of Mirtazapine. I was an outpatient of the local Mental Health Crisis Unit and I also found a private therapist. Things took a turn for the better and for a few months things were great. There was the occasional blip, but that is life.

Fast forward to December of last year (2016) and I relapse, for no apparent reason other than remembering that I was an anxiety sufferer. Within days I was back to the horrible feelings of self doubt, second guessing, intrusive thoughts, and the impending sense of doom that happens in relation to everything, life in general. The Dr. increased the dosage to 30mg.

Once again things settle for a while, maybe four weeks at most. I then relapse again. This time quicker and harder than the first time. The Dr. increases the dosage to 45mg daily.

Fast forward to present day, today. And yes, it is starting again and has been building for the last 48 hours.

My question, should I be feeling like this at this stage and at this dose. My gut tells me that something is wrong, that this is the wrong path of recovery for me. And yet mr Dr. insists that this is how it should be...

Anyone with experience of Mirtazapine and anxiety that can offer their view would be appreciated. I am sooooo desperate and scared of relapsing yet again...

Thanks in advance.

Benjammin69
09-03-17, 19:34
Hi, other than the operation your story and treatment sounds exactly like me! Everything you say I can relate to! I have been on mirtazapine 15,30,45 amongst other meds! It seems to stop working for some reason which leads to panicking- mirtazapine has never helped with anxiety unfortunately.
I also pay for private therapy my advice to you is try and ride the bad moment for what it is. It is a bad moment - medication or not. Everyone has bad moments unfortunately we are just more scared of them than most. Don't do what I done and try and over medicate as that just destabilises you more, maybe get some short term relief with atarax? If you need to talk I am here.

RandomGeeza
09-03-17, 19:40
Hi, thanks for the quick reply. Phew, I am not alone!

Atarax.... I've got myself some of that... Bought it when in Asia...

So, you have experienced the same thing... It isn't just me..?!

What upsets me is, my two close friends are on Sertraline and they swear by it. And to be honest, I see them now and they are both new and improved, whereas I am still struggling. I seriously believe that Mirt is just not right for me. The grand epiphany that you read and hear about alludes me.

Did you try any other AD's?

Benjammin69
09-03-17, 19:46
Yeah i have experienced it, my journey started august 2016.. I even went back to work in November and now I'm off again due to relapse, panicking and getting another med. I have tried loads mate -

Sertraline, citalopram, pregablin , diazepam, xanax, seroquel, mirtazapine, hydroxyzine, oxazepam, propranolol - the lot. And nothing gave me peace and quiet from my brain and thoughts. I can honestly say the best I have been was when I had minimal meds and therapy say - 15mg mirtazapine and therapy why I didn't stay there - because the 'relapse' scared me mate. Don't let it do the same thing to you

RandomGeeza
09-03-17, 19:51
Hmmmm, I'm not sure what to say to that. Apart from I hope you get it sorted and soon.

Bugger... All I want is a magic bullet / pill / medication to give me a rest from the constant cat and mouse game this is with myself. Although, I know that there isn't one.

I was hoping that maybe, just maybe switching to something else might produce better results.

Benjammin69
09-03-17, 19:54
It may help switching I didn't mean to say it won't help as everyone is different and chemically not one person is the same. Citalopram was actually ok but it gave me panic attacks which I haven't ever had before but if you could take time off and deal with that citalopram was a decent options. I'm under the care of the Kent mental health crisis team do you see a psychiatrist?

RandomGeeza
09-03-17, 20:00
The Crisis Team discharged me months ago and won't touch me without a referral. However to get a referral I need to be self harming, threatening to self harm or be suicidal... So, they don't want to know. And I daren't exagerate toooo much as they could admit me.

Also when I tried to access the NHS pDoc, the wait was 4 hours and it was already 1am in the morning, so I gave up...

I'm not employed atm so time is not an issue..

As for panic attacks. I have them already... The Mirt just about keeps a lid on it... But as in my original post, it is building up again... I can feel a biggee coming. I just don't know when it will hit me...

Benjammin69
09-03-17, 20:04
If your used to panic attacks and your not employed then no reason not to try another med I've always fancied venlafaxine!

I went in for an assessment Monday and I'm an active risk at the moment and they didn't admit me, I'm not saying lie but be brutally
Honest to get the right care mate

RandomGeeza
09-03-17, 20:06
I think I am going to have to... I've gotta pop out now, but let me know how you get on... and thanks mate...

Benjammin69
09-03-17, 20:08
No probs