LG18
09-03-17, 22:28
I've had health anxiety for years now. First major worry was a blood clot, then a brain tumour, then that my girlfriend had a brain tumour, and now that I have a Nasopharyngeal tumour.
I'm not sure how much more I can take.
I know how to get better from OCD and anxiety; I've had therapy and thoroughly understand the principles and have cut out many other compulsions and worries in my life. However, the health anxiety remains resistant to it.
I just can't come to "accept" (which is how you're supposedly meant to tackle this, placing little importance on thoughts) symptoms.
Or rather, that I might have something terrible and could die.
There's this mental battle I'm sure you're all aware of that is "do I see a doctor for reassurance, or do I ride it out and accept it's anxiety".
Judging what to do, or what is a just cause for a doctor visit is so, so difficult, and this is why I'm yet to cure my health anxiety.
Recently, as I said, I've been worrying obsessively about the prospect of having a Nasopharyngeal tumour.
I've been having TMJ disfunction symptoms for nearly a year now - crackling and clicking jaw, trapezius stiffness, pain when pressing on the joint, tinnitus in one ear worsened by jaw muscle movements etc.
I certainly resonate to a large degree with the symptoms of TMJ disfunction, and also actually with sternocliedomastoid trigger points and trigger points in general.
I also did many of the bad sleeping patterns associated in causing TMJ, as well as the forward head posture from extended use on the computer that also causes it.
So I thought it was very likely I had that.
I was online looking doe exercisises for TMJ and watched a video on them.
One was to do a movement called the "chin duck", where By you are to move your chin and neck backwards sort of like a pigeon.
When I did this, I got ear ache and pain under the jaw and my tinnitus increased in loadness.
I, stupidly, researched this and stumbled across Nasopharyngeal tumours, which apparently cause tinnitus, ear ache and many other of the TMJ symptoms I'd been experiencing.
I've now convinced myself this is what I have.
I feel physically sick with worry, and yet again I'm close to tears wondering what to do.
All of my family think I'm being insane; convincing myself unnecessarily that I have a terrible illness when I'm not a doctor.
I did go to the doctor a few months ago and he thought it was to do with the tight neck muscles from forward head posture, but I feel like I don't believe him, that everyone is wrong and I just don't know what to do.
I was wondering whether anyone else that has felt this low with health anxiety could comment.
It's such a terrifying place to be and I feel totally bewildered and alone.
Thank you for listening.
I'm not sure how much more I can take.
I know how to get better from OCD and anxiety; I've had therapy and thoroughly understand the principles and have cut out many other compulsions and worries in my life. However, the health anxiety remains resistant to it.
I just can't come to "accept" (which is how you're supposedly meant to tackle this, placing little importance on thoughts) symptoms.
Or rather, that I might have something terrible and could die.
There's this mental battle I'm sure you're all aware of that is "do I see a doctor for reassurance, or do I ride it out and accept it's anxiety".
Judging what to do, or what is a just cause for a doctor visit is so, so difficult, and this is why I'm yet to cure my health anxiety.
Recently, as I said, I've been worrying obsessively about the prospect of having a Nasopharyngeal tumour.
I've been having TMJ disfunction symptoms for nearly a year now - crackling and clicking jaw, trapezius stiffness, pain when pressing on the joint, tinnitus in one ear worsened by jaw muscle movements etc.
I certainly resonate to a large degree with the symptoms of TMJ disfunction, and also actually with sternocliedomastoid trigger points and trigger points in general.
I also did many of the bad sleeping patterns associated in causing TMJ, as well as the forward head posture from extended use on the computer that also causes it.
So I thought it was very likely I had that.
I was online looking doe exercisises for TMJ and watched a video on them.
One was to do a movement called the "chin duck", where By you are to move your chin and neck backwards sort of like a pigeon.
When I did this, I got ear ache and pain under the jaw and my tinnitus increased in loadness.
I, stupidly, researched this and stumbled across Nasopharyngeal tumours, which apparently cause tinnitus, ear ache and many other of the TMJ symptoms I'd been experiencing.
I've now convinced myself this is what I have.
I feel physically sick with worry, and yet again I'm close to tears wondering what to do.
All of my family think I'm being insane; convincing myself unnecessarily that I have a terrible illness when I'm not a doctor.
I did go to the doctor a few months ago and he thought it was to do with the tight neck muscles from forward head posture, but I feel like I don't believe him, that everyone is wrong and I just don't know what to do.
I was wondering whether anyone else that has felt this low with health anxiety could comment.
It's such a terrifying place to be and I feel totally bewildered and alone.
Thank you for listening.