Think my thoughts can end peoples life

[mfh010]

For about 6 years now i have always felt guilty thinking i can sacrafice someone with my mind. I would think things in my head "i would sacraficing someone for something to happen," then I would feel guilty about that. At the moment I thought in my head about 4 months ago "I would sacrafice someone for a team to win a match",that i was watching. It was looking like they were about to win as they just needed to convert a easy kick, which he would get almost every time. So i thought the opposite, that i would sacrafice someone for the team to lose, so prove i dont have control. He missed the kick and they ended up not winning and now I feel guilty all the time cause of it, and I spend all my time trying to prove to myself that I cant sacrafice someone with my mind. I think because he missed the kick, i have sacraficed someone, I dont know what to do.

[Clydesdale Epona]

I have these similar thought myself alongside thinking I can kill people/myself with just my thoughts, if I have the slightest though of "I kinda wish I was dead" or "if this kills me who cares I'll go for it" then I freak out just knowing that the universe will abide my wishes.
it does really suck and although I don't have any advice on how to beat it right now I just wanted to offer my support x

All the best :hugs:

[beatroon]

Hi there

Poor you! This sounds very distressing and classically OCD, to believe that thoughts can cause harm to others. Whilst it is very upsetting for you to feel this way and I understand that you feel out of control, I think you know at some level that your thoughts are not the same as your actions, and that if you had really sacrificed someone, it would be all over the papers by now!

I wonder, have you got any professional help with this? There are good resources and treatments available - perhaps you could enlist the help of a supportive person, partner or friend or family member, to help get some support? A therapist trained in OCD would be a great start point, or just a family doctor to begin with.

In the meantime, you have a good community here of people who know how you feel. You might want to check out MynameisTerry's excellent posts on Mindfulness, for example. A problem in OCD is that we pay attention to some thoughts, which become 'sticky' and obsessive, and not to other thoughts - we only notice the ones that upset us, and mindfulness teaches us to observe our unwelcome, unhelpful thoughts. It is really effective, and brain scans of people who do mindfulness meditation have shown differences before and after. So you could consider trying that.

One thing that my therapist told me was good was to imagine the thing I feared as a tabloid newspaper headline. So in my case, I was worried about harming my partner. I would imagine a headline which went BEATROON IN SHOCK HORROR ATTACK ON UNSUSPECTING WIFE! AUTHORITIES APPALLED BY SAVAGE THOUGHT-CRIME! This inevitably raises a chuckle. People disagree on whether or not you ought to react to your thoughts in this way, but for me, making light of the obsessive thought is quite helpful.

When you put it this way: MFH010 SACRIFICES CLOSE PERSONAL FRIEND FOR FOOTBALL GAME OUTCOME USING ONLY THE POWER OF HIS MIND! With sub-headings: IS THIS THE NEW SPOCK? WE INVESTIGATE CLAIMS OF VULCAN CONTROL and WHERE DID MFH010 GET HIS PSYCHIC ABILITIES? A CLOSER LOOK AT FOOTBALL-LOVING, FRIEND-HATING TELEKINETIC SUPERSTAR, right next to stories such as 20-FOOT KRAKEN DISCOVERED IN PUDDLE and KARDASHIANS REVEALED TO BE ALIENS!!!…. well, not to make light of your issue, but maybe this will help.

I do hope things get better for you soon, and please be reassured that help is always available at Hogwarts - as Dumbledore in Harry Potter famously said - for those who ask for it.

[mfh010]

Yeah i have been seeing a therapist for about 5 weeks, but am still struggling alot with it. I appreciate the reply's, and do like the idea of your headlines and think it could be helpful!

The thing that is bugging me the most is that i cant understand how the events of the game happend. The first team were about to win a game of NFL and all the kicker had to do was make a basic kick, but he missed so i thought that was because of my thought so when the other team had the same oportunity and the kicker needed to kick he would get almost every time, i tried to prove i couldnt affect the game by sacraficing someone, so i thought i sacrafice someone for them not to win, but then he also missed the kick, so it has made me gone mad ever since.

[Just A Person]

The only thing that is being sacrificed is your peace of mind. I would not hazard a guess as to why but for some reason you are punishing yourself. Guilt is your punishment. The only thing you are guilty of is being a decent person. You find these thoughts repulsive and it makes you cringe. The key is finding a way to laugh at these thoughts. You don't want them. They are absurd. Why not laugh at them?

[Ljj44577]

This has a lot to do with magical thinking. It is a strong element of OCD. I struggle with this as well. Just like you, I constantly need reassurance that my fears won't come true. It bothers me sometimes. You have to realize that your thoughts cannot predict the future alone.

[mfh010]

I just hate it, now i feel responsible for someones life, i just cant understand how they both missed and it had to happen when i was having these thoughts