View Full Version : Let's hope 2017 is better than 2016
lifeofbrian
10-03-17, 14:00
I just wanted to write down for my own personal use really what led to my heightened anxiety in 2016 in the hope that I can see how things can get better this year.
It all started at the end of 2015, each one of these events increased my anxiety substantially:
Constant coughing every day for months, had to get rid of some of my birds, very upsetting, but my cough did go away.
Went bankrupt.
Helping my Dad with his garden, arms got so weak, couldn't lift a cup, doctor laughed it off. Happened again later in the year.
Had to move out of my annexe into a horrible dump while the landlord put new electrics and plumbing in his house and my annexe. I had to clean it all up.
Three plumbing leaks, flooded half the house, soaking carpets. Guess who had to clean it up.
No help moving everything in and out of my annexe, got shingles, (which is horrible, just loads of pain) a couple of days after moving back, obviously from the stress and moving all that stuff alone.
Tried Venlafaxine; had a horrid time, had to stop.
Builders moved in, noise every day from the early hours, scaffolding, open wall cavity, very cold, water and electricity cut off without warning. Landlord said it would be three months, that was seven months ago, still ongoing.
Dad had a bad fall, was in hospital for a couple of weeks, the worry over him plus the stress on my agoraphobia to visit him every day.
Was kept in hospital over chest pains for three days, no visitors, no internet, or contact apart from the odd phone call, felt so sacred and alone.
Then Autumn and Christmas, I get affected very much by seasonal affective disorder, I get very depressed after dark, nights are horrible, plus all the scaffolding makes it even darker, and Christmas is always stressful.
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OK, it's 2017, my anxiety, depression and agoraphobia is at an all time high, been off work with this for nearly 10 years, didn't think it could get any worse.
I've started Sertraline in March, it's not going too bad, no bad side effects, a little shaky and drowsy on top of the usual hell I call a life.
Bring on the beautiful light and warmth of summer.
Give me a hug, and wish me luck.
:bighug1:
A hug for you, Brian. As your list shows, you have had quite a few stressful life events, which would be enough to trigger anxiety in lots of people. But as your signature shows, you are capable of appreciating a great deal of the beauty in the world as well, and that's what you have to try and hold onto. We're here for you! Good luck with the Sertraline!
Hi Lifeofbrian strewth mate what a time you have had :eek: Sorry to hear this. How much more work is left to do now? you really need a time scale off your landlord when this work will be done. Are you still paying rent (some landlords will give a reduction in rent while major works is being undertaken so at least ask :) Here have a couple of man hugs off me mate :bighug1::bighug1:Chin up mate :) Take Care Cheers
Sorry things have been really tough for you!
It sounds like you've had a lot going on. The only thing I know to tell myself everyday is it won't be like this forever.. in one moment everything can change and it will!
Your still here, living life, your still in this world and there's a reason for that, your meant to be! So something good will eventually come out of this! We all have to believe that even when it feels like a load of bollox!
Praying for you xxx
:hugs:
That's loads of stuff. I know how you feel.
xx
Hope you're feeling better. Summer will come and your life will brighten with the skies.
Carrie8484
13-03-17, 15:09
The days are getting longer Brian, what are you thinking of doing to get yourself occupied during the better months? Do you like gardening? Listening to the radio? Quizzes?
The days are getting longer Brian, what are you thinking of doing to get yourself occupied during the better months? Do you like gardening? Listening to the radio? Quizzes? It's difficult for me Carrie I do like gardening but strangely not on my own don't like really doing anything on my own much been on my own for far too long:weep: So sadly don't really enjoy the warmer weather. Cheers
It's difficult for me Carrie I do like gardening but strangely not on my own don't like really doing anything on my own much been on my own for far too long:weep: So sadly don't really enjoy the warmer weather. Cheers
I don't enjoy the warmer weather either bigboy. Not because I'm lonely or anything. I just absolutely hate the light nights and the heat. My mood is already worsening and we still aren't technically out of Winter yet :-(
The clocks go forward in little under a fortnight too I believe, I truly can't stand it. I won't walk during the warmer weather so will be stuck indoors even more now.
I don't enjoy the warmer weather either bigboy. Not because I'm lonely or anything. I just absolutely hate the light nights and the heat. My mood is already worsening and we still aren't technically out of Winter yet :-(
The clocks go forward in little under a fortnight too I believe, I truly can't stand it. I won't walk during the warmer weather so will be stuck indoors even more now. Keekee even though there are different reasons it still amounts to the same out come not happy days atall for either of us sadly. I have just spent the lst hr phoning various organisations for a befriender to no avail I either live in the wrong post code or funding has been withdrawn I am so unhappy right now:weep: cheers
lifeofbrian
13-03-17, 19:37
Hi Carrie, just to be able to sit in my Dad or Sisters garden and feel the sun, and listen to the birds will be great. It feels like a prison where I live, as soon as I feel the strength I'm outta here.
The days are getting longer Brian, what are you thinking of doing to get yourself occupied during the better months? Do you like gardening? Listening to the radio? Quizzes?
Carrie8484
13-03-17, 22:29
Brian I think there's nothing better than listening to the birds singing on a spring day.
No matter how cr@ppy I feel, if I hear birdsong in the garden then i instantly feel a little bit better. Get yourself a newspaper, a cup of tea and sit on a step and soak up nature.
Could you take yourself to your dad's or sister's even while there's stuff going on at your own home? It'd help you get away from it all for short spells if you could?
lifeofbrian
13-03-17, 23:48
I always plan to make a regular trip to buy a paper in the morning but rarely feel up to it. I did manage a short walk down the canal today, the sun was so warm, then I went to my sisters for a while to sit in the garden. I managed to get down my canal once all last year because of my mental health, hopefully this will change.
:yesyes:
And speaking of birds on a spring day, here's a very short vid I took of that very thing today. https://vid.me/44Fu
Brian I think there's nothing better than listening to the birds singing on a spring day.
No matter how cr@ppy I feel, if I hear birdsong in the garden then i instantly feel a little bit better. Get yourself a newspaper, a cup of tea and sit on a step and soak up nature.
Could you take yourself to your dad's or sister's even while there's stuff going on at your own home? It'd help you get away from it all for short spells if you could?
I always plan to make a regular trip to buy a paper in the morning but rarely feel up to it. I did manage a short walk down the canal today, the sun was so warm, then I went to my sisters for a while to sit in the garden. I managed to get down my canal once all last year because of my mental health, hopefully this will change.
:yesyes:
And speaking of birds on a spring day, here's a very short vid I took of that very thing today. https://vid.me/44Fu That was beautiful thanks :) If I am not mistaken that was a blackbird singing away, the most melodious bird song ever!! Cheers
Lovely video! Really cheered me up. So you see, even when you are feeling rubbish yourself, you are generously able to help others. That's value right there. Well done, you.
Looks like a nice canal too - not too urban, plenty of wildlife.
This might be a bit random but there's this guy called Johnny Kingdom - a wildlife TV presenter. You can get some clips of his programmes on Youtube. He went through a really rough time following an industrial accident years ago, and as a way to get through it all, he got himself a camcorder and went out and filmed the wildlife near his home. Nowadays of course we just use our phone! Maybe you could do something similar and become an award-winning TV presenter? :) 'Birdsong with Life of Brian'
lifeofbrian
14-03-17, 11:44
I did manage some when I had my DSLR camera, it'd be great to do some more this year.
https://youtu.be/09ieBSEogAc
Lovely video! Really cheered me up. So you see, even when you are feeling rubbish yourself, you are generously able to help others. That's value right there. Well done, you.
Looks like a nice canal too - not too urban, plenty of wildlife.
This might be a bit random but there's this guy called Johnny Kingdom - a wildlife TV presenter. You can get some clips of his programmes on Youtube. He went through a really rough time following an industrial accident years ago, and as a way to get through it all, he got himself a camcorder and went out and filmed the wildlife near his home. Nowadays of course we just use our phone! Maybe you could do something similar and become an award-winning TV presenter? :) 'Birdsong with Life of Brian'
I did manage some when I had my DSLR camera, it'd be great to do some more this year.
https://youtu.be/09ieBSEogAc The only thing was it wasn't long enough but kept playing it again and again wonderful it's cheered me up some what thanks :)
Adorable! Is that a coot?
Adorable! Is that a coot? Think it is, or is it a moor hen always get them mixed up lol :) Cheers
Either way it's cute, and so is the little one next to it! :)
Either way it's cute, and so is the little one next to it! :) Yes cute isn't nature wonderful ;) Cheers
lifeofbrian
14-03-17, 18:10
Every so often I look online to see the difference between a Coot and a Moorhen, but if you ask me now which is which I couldn't tell you.:blush:
Here's a 15 mins vid of birdsong I took one morning, I sometimes listen to it when I go to sleep, has rain also.
https://youtu.be/nuWyK07CGhM
:yesyes:
Every so often I look online to see the difference between a Coot and a Moorhen, but if you ask me now which is which I couldn't tell you.:blush:
Here's a 15 mins vid of birdsong I took one morning, I sometimes listen to it when I go to sleep, has rain also.
https://youtu.be/nuWyK07CGhM
:yesyes: Excellent vid Brian so peaceful and serene :yesyes: Fell asleep half way through so played vid from halfway till I had seen it all Loved the moon, very clear footage! Cheers
I LOVE Moor hens. Always call them long legs :-)
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