strawberries
13-03-17, 15:03
Hi all,
My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago, and I'm just having a hard time understanding it. We were doing very well, he was always so loving and showering me with kisses and kind words. Then I flew home for a vacation to see my family and he flew to another country on a business trip. We were exchanging loving messages for two days then suddenly he went silent. That night I received an e-mail from him saying that we're breaking up and I can't go back home to his house where I was living at the time.
I know he has anxiety and other issues, and he takes medication for them. I have a few issues too that he's been wanting me to take therapy for.
It was just so sudden that he broke up with me. No fights, no warning, nothing. He won't really explain exactly why he's breaking up. Just that he has to "find and rescue himself first".
After we broke up he agreed to pay for my therapy for 10 sessions. He said I could come to his house anytime to pick up my things (I have been doing it little by little; I now live a 10-minute walk from him), but last week he gave me some really sweet presents and when I tried to hug him thank you he just suddenly said, "I want to set boundaries where we don't hug anymore". I got ANGRY. Not because I feel entitled to hugs but knowing I have issues myself he could have sat me down properly and explained why! He keeps doing this: retreating from me then throwing money or gifts at me thinking that all makes it okay.
I think he made us both worse by initiating this break up. So since the presents (which I shoved back into his hands and told him to shove his therapy money because I don't need shit from him) I stopped going to his house and stopped getting my things personally, instead having a friend pass all our communication between us (this friend did tell him to not stop paying for my therapy regardless of what I said, to which the ex agreed).
What I'm trying to understand is how can this all happen. He acted like he loved me so much and that I was the most precious thing on this earth, then suddenly I'm shut out and nobody in his life. I care about him so much but it's so hard being shut out like this, and being given money like it's some kind of bandaid.
I'm thinking of maybe having no direct contact with him for a month, and then maybe see how he's doing, but I'm not sure that's a good idea. But I'm also hopeful that we can still get back together and I'm afraid if I wait too long, he'll just stop caring and move on.
Please, if anyone can give me some insight on this, I'd be very grateful.
My boyfriend broke up with me a month ago, and I'm just having a hard time understanding it. We were doing very well, he was always so loving and showering me with kisses and kind words. Then I flew home for a vacation to see my family and he flew to another country on a business trip. We were exchanging loving messages for two days then suddenly he went silent. That night I received an e-mail from him saying that we're breaking up and I can't go back home to his house where I was living at the time.
I know he has anxiety and other issues, and he takes medication for them. I have a few issues too that he's been wanting me to take therapy for.
It was just so sudden that he broke up with me. No fights, no warning, nothing. He won't really explain exactly why he's breaking up. Just that he has to "find and rescue himself first".
After we broke up he agreed to pay for my therapy for 10 sessions. He said I could come to his house anytime to pick up my things (I have been doing it little by little; I now live a 10-minute walk from him), but last week he gave me some really sweet presents and when I tried to hug him thank you he just suddenly said, "I want to set boundaries where we don't hug anymore". I got ANGRY. Not because I feel entitled to hugs but knowing I have issues myself he could have sat me down properly and explained why! He keeps doing this: retreating from me then throwing money or gifts at me thinking that all makes it okay.
I think he made us both worse by initiating this break up. So since the presents (which I shoved back into his hands and told him to shove his therapy money because I don't need shit from him) I stopped going to his house and stopped getting my things personally, instead having a friend pass all our communication between us (this friend did tell him to not stop paying for my therapy regardless of what I said, to which the ex agreed).
What I'm trying to understand is how can this all happen. He acted like he loved me so much and that I was the most precious thing on this earth, then suddenly I'm shut out and nobody in his life. I care about him so much but it's so hard being shut out like this, and being given money like it's some kind of bandaid.
I'm thinking of maybe having no direct contact with him for a month, and then maybe see how he's doing, but I'm not sure that's a good idea. But I'm also hopeful that we can still get back together and I'm afraid if I wait too long, he'll just stop caring and move on.
Please, if anyone can give me some insight on this, I'd be very grateful.