I've had enough, I honestly can not cope anymore

[Wishitaway]

Hi, I suffer from GAD however health anxiety is the one part that torments me the most.

I think it was triggered after my eldest was born five years ago and it has just gotten worse since having my second a year ago. I'm terrified I won't be able to see my children grow up, that they won't remember me.

At the moment my anxiety is at an all time high, I have a lump under my armpit on the right side and have had it for six months plus. I've been to the doctors multiple times, to be told it's something different each time. The right breast is very painful, but not discoloured or anything just very very painful. I'm pregnant which has seemed to make it worse but it's not the cause.

After having a speculum done (oh the joys), they also said my cervix looked "different" sent me home and told me to come back and be seen by a different doctor the next day. I returned and they said it was an entropian
and sent me on the way. However my sister at the same age as me had cervical cancer cells which would have developed into cancer if not treated at this time.

I'm constantly sleeping, I don't want to get out of bed because I'm always faced with new symptoms or fears. I can't live this way, I'm constantly near tears, I'm just so worried. This is no way to live, I've really had enough of it. My partner doesn't understand, I don't even understand. I just want it to go away. I need something to help my fear. It's ruined my life.

[linniek808]

Hi- Please try not to worry. Pregnancy can change a lot of things in your body. I know the feeling though, I too have been in bed a lot trying to hide from the fears of health anxiety. Please see a therapist, there is help for HA.

[Wishitaway]

Hi- Please try not to worry. Pregnancy can change a lot of things in your body. I know the feeling though, I too have been in bed a lot trying to hide from the fears of health anxiety. Please see a therapist, there is help for HA.

I'm going to go to the doctors later today (it's only 4am here).

Pregnancy does change a lot but these symptoms were here before pregnancy, they've just worsened. I'm just fed up of living like this, I'm terrified of dying but too fed up to enjoy my life. It's just not rational. Feel like ending it all sometimes but I know I couldn't.

Thank you xx

[Mav]

Hi, I suffer from GAD however health anxiety is the one part that torments me the most.

I think it was triggered after my eldest was born five years ago and it has just gotten worse since having my second a year ago. I'm terrified I won't be able to see my children grow up, that they won't remember me.

At the moment my anxiety is at an all time high, I have a lump under my armpit on the right side and have had it for six months plus. I've been to the doctors multiple times, to be told it's something different each time. The right breast is very painful, but not discoloured or anything just very very painful. I'm pregnant which has seemed to make it worse but it's not the cause.

After having a speculum done (oh the joys), they also said my cervix looked "different" sent me home and told me to come back and be seen by a different doctor the next day. I returned and they said it was an entropian
and sent me on the way. However my sister at the same age as me had cervical cancer cells which would have developed into cancer if not treated at this time.

I'm constantly sleeping, I don't want to get out of bed because I'm always faced with new symptoms or fears. I can't live this way, I'm constantly near tears, I'm just so worried. This is no way to live, I've really had enough of it. My partner doesn't understand, I don't even understand. I just want it to go away. I need something to help my fear. It's ruined my life.

This is the most painful part of it all, it really is no way to live. I can relate and empathise here. :(

[beatroon]

Hi Wishitaway,

I'm really sorry to hear you're having such a hard time.

I bet the pregnancy hormones aren't helping your anxiety one bit. Is it worth going to the GP and discussing what can be done to help? You could outline your frustrations about the armpit bump and different diagnoses you've had - it sounds like that hasn't really helped you feel more secure - and then ask what help is available for your GAD. Of course it's very comforting to stay in bed and sleep all the time, but the GP is there to help, and will be able to offer you some concrete solutions to get you feeling better!

I was just at the GP for something else and was looking at the noticeboard. There was a great-looking support group called Mothers for Mothers - for women who are pregnant and struggling with anxiety or depression. It sounded fantastic - I wonder if it's worth looking up and seeing if there is anything like that in your area?

As for your partner, it's very hard to explain anxiety to someone who doesn't suffer themselves. Perhaps s/he would come along to the GP with you, so you could talk about it with a professional together? That way, it can be a conversation between you with someone there who can offer some good strategies and advice that your partner can hear too.

I wish you all the best and am sure you will feel better soon!

[Wishitaway]

This is the most painful part of it all, it really is no way to live. I can relate and empathise here. :(

It's truly painful to write things like that. I love my life, I'm blessed with two lovely children, third on the way and yet I'm stuck in a rut and can not for the life of me get out.

I'm very sorry you can relate, it's horrible. I never really understood anxiety when I was in my younger years but now all I want is for someone to understand, to help me through it, telling me it'll be ok, just doesn't really cut it for me :(

---------- Post added at 16:55 ---------- Previous post was at 16:49 ----------


Hi Wishitaway,

I'm really sorry to hear you're having such a hard time.

I bet the pregnancy hormones aren't helping your anxiety one bit. Is it worth going to the GP and discussing what can be done to help? You could outline your frustrations about the armpit bump and different diagnoses you've had - it sounds like that hasn't really helped you feel more secure - and then ask what help is available for your GAD. Of course it's very comforting to stay in bed and sleep all the time, but the GP is there to help, and will be able to offer you some concrete solutions to get you feeling better!

I was just at the GP for something else and was looking at the noticeboard. There was a great-looking support group called Mothers for Mothers - for women who are pregnant and struggling with anxiety or depression. It sounded fantastic - I wonder if it's worth looking up and seeing if there is anything like that in your area?

As for your partner, it's very hard to explain anxiety to someone who doesn't suffer themselves. Perhaps s/he would come along to the GP with you, so you could talk about it with a professional together? That way, it can be a conversation between you with someone there who can offer some good strategies and advice that your partner can hear too.

I wish you all the best and am sure you will feel better soon!

Pregnancy certainly doesn't help, hormones are constant on the rise unfortunately and half the time I feel like I'm losing my mind but that's just pregnancy haha!

Today was the day that I was meant to go to the doctors to sort it all out but I always find a reason to put it off. I've spent yet another day in bed and thank god for my partner who has taken care of the kids, he must be so fed up of me. I feel useless as a partner, a parent and a person. I'm failing at all the things I used to love. I'm more afraid of going to the doctors because I struggle majorly with social situations especially discussing feelings, it makes me uneasy and I clam up. I feel a bit of an idiot writing everything down and giving it to the doctor, wondering why I can't just be normal!

I could try but I think that would make my doctors visit even more nerve wracking, I can't open up in the presence of someone else even with my partner who knows the basics of how I feel.

I get so depressed remembering my old life, how happy and carefree I was. This is just all to much for me to cope with, I'd rather just hide away

[Ihavelostmymarbles]

Hugs! :bighug1:

Pregnancy is so so hard! I understand where you're coming from, I really do. It will get better. Do you have anything that helps you? I used to play my Nintendo DS, but I'm starting to think the mover guy stole it while he was packing the house up. He kept acting really strange and made too many trips to the bathroom, and then I lost my little "escape from reality". I miss that game system because those games got me through a lot of anxious nights during my last pregnancy.

I'm having a really hard time with this pregnancy as well. You're not alone with these feelings.

[Wishitaway]

Hugs! :bighug1:

Pregnancy is so so hard! I understand where you're coming from, I really do. It will get better. Do you have anything that helps you? I used to play my Nintendo DS, but I'm starting to think the mover guy stole it while he was packing the house up. He kept acting really strange and made too many trips to the bathroom, and then I lost my little "escape from reality". I miss that game system because those games got me through a lot of anxious nights during my last pregnancy.

I'm having a really hard time with this pregnancy as well. You're not alone with these feelings.

:hugs:

Ah someone who is currently experiencing the torture and blessing of pregnancy lol.

I do play games on the laptop at night or I read. I've just forced myself out of bed, 5 pm is probably a little too late to do this and made myself shower. I will make sure I get to the gp tomorrow, I can't be helped if I won't help myself I guess.

Really sorry to hear you're finding it hard too, how far along are you? This pregnancy has really taken its toll on me. I'm exhausted all the time D: xx