Flu

[Ihavelostmymarbles]

Does anyone else have an intense fear of the flu? I'm so terrified that I have it and it's going to kill me. It said online that it can be deadly in high risk groups, and of course, I'm in the high risk group. I'm so afraid right now and I can't even go to the doctor today because I can't drag the kids out in this rain/wind storm.

Now I'm going to die and leave my kids without a mom. All because of this pregnancy.

[Clydesdale Epona]

Dying from the flu is extremely uncommon and is only likely if you're really old,
Have you considered getting the flu jab to put your mind at ease? x

All the best :hugs:

[Ihavelostmymarbles]

I am immune compromised so I can't have the shot. I'm so angry right now because I need to go to the doctor, but I don't have the energy to get the kids in the car.

[Sixpack]

. Now I'm going to die and leave my kids without a mom. All because of this pregnancy.


Intense fear or not, this really is over the top.

Your post, to me, sounds like you are perilously close to blaming that beautiful baby you are growing for your "death"


What positive things are you doing to deal with your anxiety disorder? what is working? what is not? what are you really willing to do to get it under control?

[Ihavelostmymarbles]

I don't have an attachment to this fetus right now. I don't build an attachment until it's born. I'm really not feeling good and took preventative measures to not get pregnant for this very reason.

I can't even get out of bed without feeling like I'm going to die, so yeah I'm pretty pissed off that I'm pregnant.

[Capercrohnj]

I am immune compromised so I can't have the shot. I'm so angry right now because I need to go to the doctor, but I don't have the energy to get the kids in the car.


Who told you immunosuppressed people can't get the shot? It's usually recommend that immunosuppressed get the shot. In most places the flu shot contains dead virus so you can't get the flu from the shot.

[Ihavelostmymarbles]

Well the last time I got the flu shot, I had a really bad reaction and developed even more fun autoimmune crap, so I'll never do that again.

[Sixpack]

I don't have an attachment to this fetus right now. I don't build an attachment until it's born. I'm really not feeling good and took preventative measures to not get pregnant for this very reason.

I can't even get out of bed without feeling like I'm going to die, so yeah I'm pretty pissed off that I'm pregnant.

BLUNT message here and sorry if I offend

BUT



Ok fine you are unhappily pregnant. This fetus means nothing to you and you are angry. You still are over reacting. You are. If you are so ill and can't get out of bed to take care of the children that are in your home and you feel you are dying, then the only sensible and logical thing to do is to call the ambulance.


What positive things are you doing for your anxiety disorder? What is working? What isn't? What are you really willing to do to get the anxiety under control?

[Ihavelostmymarbles]

Lol...

My kids are fine. We've got snacks and drinks in the room, and I can get up when I have to. I just feel like death is walking right beside me when I do. If I've learned anything on anxiety websites, it's that calling the ambulance is stupid unless you're pretty much unconscious and someone does it for you.

If I'm not pregnant, I can effectively manage my anxiety. When I'm pregnant, I struggle with pregnancy hormones and talk therapy isn't working on it's own. I need a combination of klonopin and Prozac to effectively cope. The safe meds have caused me negative side effects and suicidal thoughts.

Prozac is category C. Klonopin is category D. My anxiety is nuts right now, but:

1. I do not want/will not hurt others
2. I'm not going to hurt myself
3. I'm in talk therapy
4. I vent on here so I don't destroy my relationships with the ones I care about because they don't want to hear it.

Having health issues (while waiting for results to see if I have another one) along with pregnancy, and now being sick has stressed me out quite a bit. However, I'd rather be an anxious mess on here for the remainder of my pregnancy than to take meds that can cause health issues for the fetus. An anxious mind for a few more months is worth it when the latter would mean health issues for life for someone else. Not having a connection to this fetus doesn't make someone a bad person, and in fact, it's very common. Some women don't even build the connection until a few weeks after they've brought their baby's home.

[Fishmanpa]

Have you considered getting the flu jab to put your mind at ease?

Exactly! I get the shot every year and haven't had it in.... hmmm... close to 20 years I think.

Since you can't or won't get the shot, lots of hand sanitizer and prayer ;) Bottom, line, it sucks but you won't die from it. Sadly, there's a lot more going on than meets the eye here :(

Positive thoughts

[Ihavelostmymarbles]

My OB said that I can die from it. Well, let me rephrase that--she said pregnant women are at risk of dying from the flu because your immune system is lower when you're pregnant. It does that so your body doesn't attack the fetus (like it's an illness and try to kill it), so you're more susceptible to infections and illnesses. She explained all this when I denied the flu shot, but I can't take the chance of another negative response to the shot.

What do you mean there's a lot more going on that meets the eye? No snark with that, I'm just not understanding?

[Sixpack]

Okay based on what you said here, you really are not close to dying. It is your anxious thinking lying to you. It has you jumping to ludicrous conclusions that you are going to die from the flu. So, no, an ambulance would not be a logical thing to do as plainly you are not that ill. It also means that you will be fine to wait until tomorrow to go to the doctor, if it is still even necessary. Again all your anxious thinking has you over reacting.


I am not one to push meds as I think behavior modification is much more helpful with health anxiety. Have you tried cognitive therapy? Have you tried looking up cognitive behavior exercises online to help you combat the lies your anxious mind peddles to you? Are you refraining from googling illnesses? Are you refraining from seeking reassurance? Are you refraining from monitoring your body from oddities. Are you engaging in pregnancy friendly exercise? Are you engaging in hobbies or useful distractions? Changing the mind's thought patterns is imperative. Hard as hell, at times. It takes tons of perseverance to refuse to engage in damaging habits.

Regarding your pregnancy: I never said you were a bad person. You obviously care about the baby/fetus as you don't want to cause harm.

[Fishmanpa]

What do you mean there's a lot more going on that meets the eye? No snark with that, I'm just not understanding?

No snark meant at all... what I'm referring to are your feelings toward your unborn child and the ramifications on you and your family. There are safe meds to take during pregnancy. It's worth discussing with your doctor and therapist as it's apparent that you're not in a great place.

Positive thoughts

[Sixpack]

My OB said that I can die from it. Well, let me rephrase that--she said pregnant women are at risk of dying from the flu because your immune system is lower when you're pregnant. It does that so your body doesn't attack the fetus (like it's an illness and try to kill it), so you're more susceptible to infections and illnesses. She explained all this when I denied the flu shot, but I can't take the chance of another negative response to the shot.

What do you mean there's a lot more going on that meets the eye? No snark with that, I'm just not understanding?


Children are at risk, older people are more at risk too. That doesn't mean people are dying left and right. I have 6 kids--5 birthed and one adopted. Never got a flu shot, didn't get the flu while pg (ever maybe), I did get sick while pregnant from time to time, never died. Bottom line MILLIONS of women are pregnant during flu season--some get the shot, some don't, some get the flu, some don't.. We don't hear about millions of pregnant women dying. You are allowing your anxious thinking to lie to you.

[Ihavelostmymarbles]

I'll be honest, I've never met a therapist that does more than talk. We just talk. There are no techniques being used that I can see. It's almost like visiting a friend once a week for gossip or girl talk. Any time I ask for tips, they say to combat negative thoughts with positive thoughts. I've tried that but without medication it doesn't work.

I'll look up the online exercises because that's something new for me and it's safe, so why not. I try not to look for reassurance, but with my health issues that I currently have (and waiting now for test results--it's really hard not to seek out reassurance). I very rarely ask people around me now because they are so sick of me asking, so I do come on here quite a bit. The health issues that I do have--my mind spirals and I go to worse case scenario. Like I have VCD, but I associate the shortness of breath with a pulmonary embolism. Or Raynauds--I think blood clots. There's more health issues, but we'd be here all day.

I got rid of my Fitbit and little finger oxygen monitor, but I did keep my blood pressure my monitor in case I need it for the pregnancy. I can't exercise during the pregnancy because my heart rate gets too high simply from walking, so the OB sent me to a cardiologist--just waiting for more results. I don't really have hobbies because I have kids and they literally take up all of my time, along with feeling sick during this pregnancy. Pregnancy is usually a beautiful time for most, but it disables me. I'll need to pull out my shower chair soon because it's getting harder to shower.

With pregnancy, I've learned that anything is possible so I don't make attachments until I have a baby in my arms. Just the way I am.

I feel like a combination of every health issue I have plus being sick is just making me feel much worse than normal. I wish I had a normal nervous system and a normal mind.

And I wrote a book.

---------- Post added at 14:36 ---------- Previous post was at 14:26 ----------


No snark meant at all... what I'm referring to are your feelings toward your unborn child and the ramifications on you and your family. There are safe meds to take during pregnancy. It's worth discussing with your doctor and therapist as it's apparent that you're not in a great place.

Positive thoughts

I've tried the safe meds but I get negative side effects or suicidal thoughts. Also, in pregnancy, no medication is really ever safe. Everything comes with a risk, there are just some that are in better categories than others. I'm reading that right now in my little pregnancy book that I got from my OB. I'm not in a great place, I agree. However, me not having an attachment to this fetus doesn't have anything to do with that.

I chose to keep this pregnancy and carry this fetus, but that doesn't mean I can't be angry at being pregnant. I hate being pregnant, but the end result is why I do it. If I hated this fetus, I wouldn't have continued this pregnancy. If my family was in danger during my pregnancy, I wouldn't have continued this pregnancy.

[Sixpack]

Not all doctors do CBT. It may be worthwhile for you to look for doctor who uses this method. talk therapy is good for some. It seems to me that you are not one of those people. Again, I believe if you are given good tools to combat the lies, then meds are really not necessary.

Even with a mess of kids (especially because of kids), there are All kinds of things you can do to keep your mind occupied WITH the kids. And off of catastrophic things that your mind dreams up.

As fishmanpa says, there is likely many things going on in your life, that is aiding and abetting your anxiety disorder. Not a judgment. It is simply a statement of fact that our lives and some of the messiness of it all drives stress/anxiety. This can be especially difficult if peeps don't have an arsenal of coping skills.

[Ihavelostmymarbles]

Children are at risk, older people are more at risk too. That doesn't mean people are dying left and right. I have 6 kids--5 birthed and one adopted. Never got a flu shot, didn't get the flu while pg (ever maybe), I did get sick while pregnant from time to time, never died. Bottom line MILLIONS of women are pregnant during flu season--some get the shot, some don't, some get the flu, some don't.. We don't hear about millions of pregnant women dying. You are allowing your anxious thinking to lie to you.

I'm just going off of what my OB said. Doctors hate when people deny vaccines, and I know they are just trying to help, but some people can't have them. I already feel like people on here are rolling their eyes at me, but I'm not an idiot. I've done research on meds and the side effects. I'm not a threat to society or myself. I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm just angry and trying to come to terms with the fact that I have health issues, I'm pregnant, and I'm not able to take meds.

---------- Post added at 14:49 ---------- Previous post was at 14:42 ----------


Not all doctors do CBT. It may be worthwhile for you to look for doctor who uses this method. talk therapy is good for some. It seems to me that you are not one of those people. Again, I believe if you are given good tools to combat the lies, then meds are really not necessary.

Even with a mess of kids (especially because of kids), there are All kinds of things you can do to keep your mind occupied WITH the kids. And off of catastrophic things that your mind dreams up.

As fishmanpa says, there is likely many things going on in your life, that is aiding and abetting your anxiety disorder. Not a judgment. It is simply a statement of fact that our lives and some of the messiness of it all drives stress/anxiety. This can be especially difficult if peeps don't have an arsenal of coping skills.

I will call around to see if anyone does CBT. I hope that someone around here does it because it has got to be better than what I'm doing once a week. And yes, I push for that once a week appointment and pay out of pocket sometimes since my insurance only allows every two weeks.

I think things will be easier when I'm able to physically do more with the kids. It's hard when I'm sedentary but I can't really control that with these dumb health issues and pregnancy. It seems like everything flares during pregnancy, and it makes life a bit harder.

I agree, the health issues and pregnancy are making my anxiety much worse. I wasn't perfect before all of this, but I wasn't this unhappy until my body started to fight against me.

[Sixpack]

The thing the ob told you is that there is increased risk. Just the same as other groups. She did not say YOU were going to die. Additionally, the shot this year did not end up covering the strain people are getting, anyway. So either way, it doesn't much matter whether you got the shot.

And we all have some sort of health issues--or will. I do too. It is part of the human condition. Problem is anxiety amplifies it.

If you end up with the flu, you will feel like crap and then get better. IF, big IF, you had a complication from the flu, you'd get treated. You would either drag your kids out in the rain/wind and go to the doctor even though it would suck colossally OR (if it were dire circumstance) you would call an ambulance. You would not be posting about the fear here. How do I know? Because when push comes to shove, that is the logical and sensible thing to do. And even amongst the MOST HA of all HA people, truly serious health issues are very apparent.

---------- Post added at 10:58 ---------- Previous post was at 10:56 ----------

How old are your kids? You can still do fun things while sitting on your keister. :).

[Ihavelostmymarbles]

They are 6, 3, and almost 1. The two older kids hate being sedentary. They want to run around, throw balls (which we do but I suck at it), and pretty much do pretend play. I've tried things like play doh, reading books, playing cards, coloring, etc. Somehow that turns into active sports, coloring on the walls as I try and chase them, etc. They are very fun kids, but I'm just not able to keep up right now. They probably got ADHD from me.

The oldest goes to school, but they are currently on break right now.

[Sixpack]

So a very busy house. :). I remember when my were little snots. I had 5 of my 6 kids in 8yrs. :O.

[Ihavelostmymarbles]

So a very busy house. :). I remember when my were little snots. I had 5 of my 6 kids in 8yrs. :O.

It's fun for the most part, but when I'm flaring with health issues and anxiety, it gets a little rough. I know pregnancy doesn't last forever, but I can't wait to be able to do things again without taking breaks, laying down a lot, and making changes that help me physically--but make me sad emotionally.

[ErinKC]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Don't feel bad for not enjoying pregnancy. I got pregnant with my daughter on purpose and I despised being pregnant. Hated. it. And I had a super easy pregnancy. I just really, really didn't like the feeling of another human living inside my body. It made me uncomfortable and I couldn't wait for it to be over. I love my daughter more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. But, pregnancy? Bleeegch.

Thankfully, I did not have anxiety during pregnancy. Mine resurfaced after she was born with a vengeance. It's hard enough having it with a child, I can't imagine going through it with more than one child AND being pregnant. I just want to give you a hug.

As for the flu, nothing makes me more angry as a person with anxiety - or just a human - than the fear mongering about the flu. Yes, pregnant women are at a very slightly elevated risk for flu-related complications, but that's it. Every year the CDC goes on a campaign to scare the shit out of everyone in America so they get a flu shot. I have nothing against getting the flu shot, and get it every year, but the scare tactics really bug me. When the CDC lists flu deaths what they are really listing is flu and pneumonia deaths. And, no, that doesn't mean just people who got pneumonia as a complication of the flu. It mean everyone who died from pneumonia during a certain period. It completely skews the numbers to make it look like way more people are dying of the flu than really are.

I'm in a mom group on facebook and someone recently posted that they were really nervous since they are pregnant and just got the flu. There was response after response of people who had all gotten it while pregnant and been totally fine. One is a nurse who had gotten it during all 3 of her pregnancies.

Order some food to be delivered, put your feet up, and try to get some rest!! If you need to get to the doctor see if someone else can drive you.

[Ihavelostmymarbles]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Don't feel bad for not enjoying pregnancy. I got pregnant with my daughter on purpose and I despised being pregnant. Hated. it. And I had a super easy pregnancy. I just really, really didn't like the feeling of another human living inside my body. It made me uncomfortable and I couldn't wait for it to be over. I love my daughter more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. But, pregnancy? Bleeegch.

Thankfully, I did not have anxiety during pregnancy. Mine resurfaced after she was born with a vengeance. It's hard enough having it with a child, I can't imagine going through it with more than one child AND being pregnant. I just want to give you a hug.

As for the flu, nothing makes me more angry as a person with anxiety - or just a human - than the fear mongering about the flu. Yes, pregnant women are at a very slightly elevated risk for flu-related complications, but that's it. Every year the CDC goes on a campaign to scare the shit out of everyone in America so they get a flu shot. I have nothing against getting the flu shot, and get it every year, but the scare tactics really bug me. When the CDC lists flu deaths what they are really listing is flu and pneumonia deaths. And, no, that doesn't mean just people who got pneumonia as a complication of the flu. It mean everyone who died from pneumonia during a certain period. It completely skews the numbers to make it look like way more people are dying of the flu than really are.

I'm in a mom group on facebook and someone recently posted that they were really nervous since they are pregnant and just got the flu. There was response after response of people who had all gotten it while pregnant and been totally fine. One is a nurse who had gotten it during all 3 of her pregnancies.

Order some food to be delivered, put your feet up, and try to get some rest!! If you need to get to the doctor see if someone else can drive you.

Thank you for posting this! It really helped me a lot. I'm probably going to to go the doctor tomorrow because I can't take it anymore with whatever this sickness is. That's interesting that they combine the deaths to make a total for the "flu" deaths. It's also comforting to know that I'll more than likely be fine. Thank you again!

[snowghost57]

You have snacks and drinks in the room? Are you in a hotel with the children? Snacks and drinks are not nutritious food. I don't recommend looking anxiety up on the internet. "anxiety websites, it's that calling the ambulance is stupid unless you're pretty much unconscious and someone does it for you." is what you stated. An ambulance may be called in the event of any type of emergency. I really think you should talk to your doctor about your feelings and get the flu shot.

[Ihavelostmymarbles]

You have snacks and drinks in the room? Are you in a hotel with the children? Snacks and drinks are not nutritious food. I don't recommend looking anxiety up on the internet. "anxiety websites, it's that calling the ambulance is stupid unless you're pretty much unconscious and someone does it for you." is what you stated. An ambulance may be called in the event of any type of emergency. I really think you should talk to your doctor about your feelings and get the flu shot.

:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao: