Why do you worry about your health

[Thelegend27]

I just want to hear some of your stories, what do you worry about? Why do you worry about it? How long have you worried? And what do you do to help your anxiety?

[KristieHollins]

Hi.
I've been on this HA journey for around two years now. I was diagnosed with an Acoustic Neuroma two and a half years ago and that's what started it. I guess because my AN is so rare I then went on to worry about all the other things that I could get. My one main fear, like so many others, is cancer. In particular breast cancer. My grandmother is a breast cancer survivor and my mother is currently under observation for a benign cyst. But so far this year I've self diagnosed IBC, lung cancer, ALS, skin cancer and oesophageal cancer. Any new twitch or twinge I immediately fear the worst and get that all too familiar lurch in my tummy.
I have my first CBT session next Wednesday. I don't take any medication, I just try to rationalise with myself. I use the Headspace app too which I find helpful.

What about you?

[Toaster]

I've worried about my health since I was 10; however, not to this degree. Just when I was bored and lonely.

The thing that set me off on my current episode was a high heart rate in the doctors office because I was nervous. The doctor that I've never seen freaked out and ordered an immediate EKG and sent me to the hospital. Diagnosis was dehydration and being nervous.

Now I just worry about everything. Unevenness in my body. Marks on my skin. Trying my best to get over it. I take Remeron, Vistaril, and Propranonol to help.

[ErinKC]

My anxiety started when I was 18. I had a terrible experience on an airplane, which led to my first panic attack. I then went through what I think is common for new anxiety sufferers - I thought I was dying. I wasn't used to panic symptoms and made my mom take me for all kinds of tests. My panic lasted about two months. At one point I was down the shore with a friend and got bitten by horse flies on the beach. The bites made my whole thigh swell up. Urgent care gave me a cream, but I had to make my dad drive two hours to pick me up because I couldn't calm down. The panic subsided and I lived many years with no relapse.

Then, it came back for a few weeks after college graduation, which is when I realized that mine surfaces during big life changes. I think that it must have something to do with fear of the unknown ahead. Because I can't imagine what's to come, I start to subconsciously think that I won't be there to find out.

My panic again resurfaced when my boyfriend and I moved in together, when my daughter was born, and after this most recent presidential election. The only other time was after I had major abdominal surgery to remove a massive fibroid that had necrotized. The experience was extremely traumatic and I had a lot of anxiety about complications for many weeks after.

The very worst was postpartum since there was hormonal shifts and enhanced interigation style sleep deprivation added to the massive life change. Also added was the sheer terror and sadness of imagining not seeing my daughter grow up/leaving her without a mom.

At a time when I feel vulnerable about the future and my role in it my health anxiety comes back.

I'll also add that my mother suffer from HA much, much worse than I do, and I grew up in that environment. A lot of my anxieties are extremely similar to hers.

I never treated it until after my daughter when it became debilitating. I started seeing a therapist and it changed my life. I was able to get my anxiety under control without meds, and I've been around 90% since then. I have moments where things creep and I've had a few panic attacks, but I have a great set of tools to employ when I feel it coming back.

[ChildOfTheKing]

Hello,

I have had quite a fixation on my breathing for months. One Monday before work in December I was feeling fluish and decided to take DayQuil tablets to help pick me up (I hardly took medication). This sent me into a panic attack that lasted the entire morning and I was short of breath, having palpitations, chest pain, dizziness, etc. I continued to have the same problems on and off that entire week and the next week I went to the doctors. He was listening with a stethoscope and said I was having an irregular heartbeat (I was having a very fast heartbeat), ordered an EKG and blood work, and that just made me way more anxious. Those feelings never went away unfortunately. I've been to the doctors, hospital, many tests run. Convinced I was having heart attack, heart failure, PE, various heart and lung diseases, etc. I became a recluse, afraid to go outside or even move, lost my job. Before all this I was active, happy, always on my feet. Had a panic attack maybe once every few months.

I've only just begun to accept that I have anxiety that is causing all these symptoms that I am still experiencing pretty much constantly. So getting counseling and trying to learn different techniques and distractions. Starting to go out more and generally try to ignore my symptoms but I still very much fixate on them.

[Clydesdale Epona]

I've always had anxiety kind there but it never seemed to affect around my health until was about 10 years old, ever since I've been a big time worrier over my health and the fear always links up to one thing, every phobia I've ever had has one thing in common and that's death. I don't quite understand where it came from but ever since I was 4 I've feared death getting me early, the real irony is I'm actually making my health worse by worrying about everything but that's the fascinating thing about anxiety sometimes it just doesn't make any sense haha

Distraction works really well for my anxiety, if I'm thinking about something I'll just find something to do to take my mind off it, I have a mindfulness coloring journal which works great for me! coloring yoga and meditation are my personal favs. I'm also doing a lot of self exposure therapy, if I'm anxious about something I'll just do it because if you do it enough your percentage of anxiety will decrease towards it x

All the best :hugs:

[Mav]

I was showing symptoms even when I didn't know what it was. It started off with chest pains and then later, a tiny lump in my armpit and now a node in my neck.

One anxiety finished (exam anxiety) and another started.

A friend of mine got diagnosed with hodgkins and someone else I know got stage 4 cancer in his stomach recently although he is much older that me. That sort of stuff sets me off.


Utimately though, it started with the realisation that me and everyone around me will die one day.

[unsure_about_this]

I could wrtie a book about my health worries, from the time I had bad abdominal pain, struggled to go to the loo, thought I had bowel cancer, all that turned out to be with going through a number of scans, were small pouch on the bowel which is pretty common not serious. Last year had a scare when one of the GP I saw as I thought I ha a problem with my airbags (I mean my testicles) he thought he felt a lump, sent me for an ultrasound, some cysts these turned out to be, which I have already named.

I have worried about 150 types of cancer so far in the last 4 years since I been on the site.

I do have a medical/health condition which I was born with NF.

All symptoms, signs, sounds I make I think it is serious.

I have been known to worry why my nightclothes are cold and worry I sweat sometimes more than others, thinking this is cancer

[Kb97]

Hey,
I was diagnosed with GAD and depression at 13. Then panic disorder at 17 along with my health anxiety. I also have suspected BPD. I've been obsessed with my heart health mainly ever since I took a legal high without meaning to and my heart felt like it exploded in my chest (4 years ago). I've been focused on other things such as blood clots, brain tumours and neurological diseases. However, it has always stemmed back to my heart and I have the worst physical symptoms when it surrounds my heart I just wish I could go back to being obsessed with blood clots again (sounds bad I know!). So my major concern is always my heart, I know that there's nothing wrong but there's just always that what if. I'm only 20 and I've researched every rare genetic heart problem in the world that could cause SADS. Damn I have a panic attack if something like water touches me unexpectedly nowadays I'm that on edge about it all. I worry because I'm petrified of death and I know it's because of that. I've only been to my gp lately because of my health anxiety I'd probably had gone before but my mum and partner would have flipped I think haha! They found artial fibrillation on one ecg which I personally feel wasn't recorded correctly and nothing on a further 4. I'm awaiting back heart monitor results from last week (good sign I would've heard earlier if it was serious) so when I get given the all clear I hope I can move on with my life whether that be me focusing on a different condition or being completely ridden of this silly health anxiety. Lately I've been drinking chamomile tea (which has been amazing). I'm currently not on medication but I was on 20mg of Fluoxetine for two years which saved my life but looks like I'll be back on them if I can't get it under control!

[Thelegend27]

I can relate to alot of the stories you haved shared, and i see that cancer is a big scare for a lot of you, i for one have worried about cancer, heart disease, heart arrhythmias, blood clots, strokes, and the list goes on and on. My anxiety started with my heart, i would get the feeling of a skipped beat, this sent me to Dr Google, and that only scared me amd still to this day it scares me but i seem to still use Google anyway. I experienced atrial fibrillation due to strenuous vomiting 2 times over the years and that really affected my anxiety. I currently have a obsession with my neck lymph nodes. A few of my close family members suffer from HA so it very well could be hereditary. I hope one day we can find a solution to this nightmare and we can all finally resume i happy life that we deserve.

[AbeLinkedIn]

My long battle with HA began when I was ending my senior year in high school, where in the middle of the night I started having abdominal discomfort that wouldn't go away, which I initially thought was just a bad stomach ache (We had had tacos the night before) but I had to go to the hospital for appendicitis (Which thankfully was taken care of before things got really ugly)

However what triggered my HA was the fact that I was right when I Googled my symptoms and came to the conclusion of appendicitis, so I figured that was the thing to do if something felt amiss. I haven't been right again, so you'd think that'd help me, but now anything that feels off I feel compelled to Google and scare myself.

[PASchoolSyndrome]

I've always been relatively anxious person and my health is something I sometimes latch onto - but again its been almost unbearable these past 6 months for some reason. I remember back when I was in high school I had this rash all down my leg and I was convinced it was plaque psoriasis.. Which while not really the worst thing that can happen it sent me down a spiral. About one month before I got engaged I felt a lymph node.. and since then I'm scared I wont be able to live out my life with my fiancé or be a mother, or spend my whole life working to be a PA and then not be able to.

Seems kind of selfish to me.. But that's why I get worried. We all die someday.. the goal is to die of old age!

[GlassPinata]

I just want to hear some of your stories, what do you worry about? Why do you worry about it? How long have you worried? And what do you do to help your anxiety?

Because I don't want to leave my kids, and because- being uninsured- any serious illness could be a death sentence for me, even if it wouldn't necessarily be one for another person.
What helps? Staying busy, i guess. Nothing completely gets rid of it though.

[Rhiannon.]

Started worrying about my health around seven years old. Was pretty sick when I was six, in and out of hospital having every test available but nothing was ever found (though when I was 12 I was diagnosed with hashimotos thyroidis and judging by my growth charts it started around age six)
Then my grandfather died of Lung cancer the following year. So from a young age I knew a lot about hospitals and what cancer did to you.
So from a young age I worried about cancer. Spinal cancer of all things. When my grandfather was alive he raises a lot of money for charity. There was a teen girl in my village who was in a car accident. She was fine but it woke up a dormant tumour in her spine. It couldn't be operated on here in the UK so my grandfather raised the money for her to be treated in the US.Thanks to him she survived. But of course, I heard all about it many times after his death. I think people assumed I was too young to understand but I was a smart kid.
Then my cousin died when I was also 8. Was on holiday with his parents and brother and when they woke up one morning he was dead. Meningitis. So I knew all about that quite young too.
My uncle had a stroke when I was 9. Sadly he died a week later. And when I was 12 I was diagnosed with hashimotos which was fun. Two months later my dad a serious heart attack. Exactly a week later he had a stroke. Somehow he survived and is still doing well <3

So my health anxiety has been from a young age. I've always been aware of how mortal I am and that death and disease doesn't only affect old people. Meningitis was a big fear of mine as a child as was cancer. Plus my family's history of dodgey hearts has me concerned too!
My grandfather had a heart attack, my dad had multiple ones but put it down to indigestion. Judging by how only half his heart now works docs estimate he had around 14. Then he had two big ones in one day followed by a MASSIVE one that almost killed him at A&E. If he hadnt been there he'd have died. Then my dad's younger brother had one. His youngest brother was very close to having one but was smart enough to have his heart checked!

Wow. That was morbid!

[GlassPinata]

Started worrying about my health around seven years old. Was pretty sick when I was six, in and out of hospital having every test available but nothing was ever found (though when I was 12 I was diagnosed with hashimotos thyroidis and judging by my growth charts it started around age six)
Then my grandfather died of Lung cancer the following year. So from a young age I knew a lot about hospitals and what cancer did to you.
So from a young age I worried about cancer. Spinal cancer of all things. When my grandfather was alive he raises a lot of money for charity. There was a teen girl in my village who was in a car accident. She was fine but it woke up a dormant tumour in her spine. It couldn't be operated on here in the UK so my grandfather raised the money for her to be treated in the US.Thanks to him she survived. But of course, I heard all about it many times after his death. I think people assumed I was too young to understand but I was a smart kid.
Then my cousin died when I was also 8. Was on holiday with his parents and brother and when they woke up one morning he was dead. Meningitis. So I knew all about that quite young too.
My uncle had a stroke when I was 9. Sadly he died a week later. And when I was 12 I was diagnosed with hashimotos which was fun. Two months later my dad a serious heart attack. Exactly a week later he had a stroke. Somehow he survived and is still doing well <3

So my health anxiety has been from a young age. I've always been aware of how mortal I am and that death and disease doesn't only affect old people. Meningitis was a big fear of mine as a child as was cancer. Plus my family's history of dodgey hearts has me concerned too!
My grandfather had a heart attack, my dad had multiple ones but put it down to indigestion. Judging by how only half his heart now works docs estimate he had around 14. Then he had two big ones in one day followed by a MASSIVE one that almost killed him at A&E. If he hadnt been there he'd have died. Then my dad's younger brother had one. His youngest brother was very close to having one but was smart enough to have his heart checked!

Wow. That was morbid!

I have a close friend who was diagnosed with spinal cancer at 38. Her children were 4 and 7 at the time.
They said the tumor was so slow growing, she'd probably had it since childhood.
Her only symptom was migraines. She went to the doctor.... and a week later was being operated on for spinal cancer, given a 50/50 chance of surviving the surgery.
She did survive, and they got all the tumor.... but she walks funny these days, and sometimes needs a cane. She is stiff; she says it hurts her to sit for long periods.
They had to cut away part of her spine; she says part of it is only the width of a thread now, which is why she has trouble walking and stuff.
Still, she survived, and her children are in their early teens now...

[pepperutchie]

I ve been a worrier since teen seeing relatives suffer from heir illness and die at an early age triggered my anxiety growing up ,now at 46yo and taking care of parents with their illness seems to keep me from this spiral of worry and what ifs ...reason for me is to see myself sufferring as well as my loved ones...and eventually dying without my husband besides me.good thread at least we know that these are all fear based thoughts habits that we formed and carry in our mind thriugh the years..and now its making us suffer by automatically feeding us these thoughts and making us fear more..