is this depression???

[honeybee]

hi guys...

im increasing feeling low at the moment, its been on and off since new year really.

i'd say 80% of the time now i feel really depressed, i feel really tired, REALLY pissed off, i can still get out of bed in the mornings and stuff but i've just lost my enthusiasm for everything, i can never be bothered to do anything, but then i feel even more down because i'm so bored with my life and never do do anything, ive moved away from my friends and family to be with my fella and really miss them, i feel like i dont get any help around the house, i woke up this mnorning and my first thought was "oh great, another day to exist before i die, im so depressed"

there's an issue with my fella that's really getting to me at the moment, its something i dont want in my life but obviously is and if i try and talk to him about it i'm just seen as controlling, so im left with the decision of leaving him or not...

but then 20% of the time i feel AMAZING... i feel like life is great, im full of life and really happy...

i dont understand....

is this depression???
or maybe just my hormones???
or is it just that im unhappy with my life and need to change it???

im wondering if this is "depression" and its because of that im getting all these negative thoughts OR whether i need to change something in my life and thats why im feeling "unhappy"...

can anyone shed any light???

[jo61]

You don't always feel bad 100% of the time when suffering from depression. It tends to be a very up and down condition. Have you seen your doctor?

[Alabasterlyn]

hi guys...

im increasing feeling low at the moment, its been on and off since new year really.

i'd say 80% of the time now i feel really depressed, i feel really tired, REALLY pissed off, i can still get out of bed in the mornings and stuff but i've just lost my enthusiasm for everything, i can never be bothered to do anything, but then i feel even more down because i'm so bored with my life and never do do anything, ive moved away from my friends and family to be with my fella and really miss them, i feel like i dont get any help around the house, i woke up this mnorning and my first thought was "oh great, another day to exist before i die, im so depressed"

there's an issue with my fella that's really getting to me at the moment, its something i dont want in my life but obviously is and if i try and talk to him about it i'm just seen as controlling, so im left with the decision of leaving him or not...

but then 20% of the time i feel AMAZING... i feel like life is great, im full of life and really happy...

i dont understand....

is this depression???
or maybe just my hormones???
or is it just that im unhappy with my life and need to change it???

im wondering if this is "depression" and its because of that im getting all these negative thoughts OR whether i need to change something in my life and thats why im feeling "unhappy"...

can anyone shed any light???

Hi Honeybee, it sounds like depression to me too. Some people get depressed and they feel like it all the time and for others it's an on/off feeling.

Is there any way you can discuss the problem that is worrying you with your bf? It's quite a big step to split up with someone and if you still both have feelings for each other perhaps it's worth trying to talk about things? I actually hate controntation and bide my time with my partner and broach things with him when I can tell he's in the right frame of mind to listen. Fortunately we don't often have any problems, but I think most people in relationships have them at some time or another.

I suffer with depression too and know only too well that feeling in the morning when you wake up and think 'ugh another day'. I also moved away from my family and friends to buy a house with my partner and have found it hard. Now when I say 'moved away' I'm actually only about 3 miles from where I lived before but at times I may as well have moved to the moon the amount of times I see some of my old friends and family :weep:

The fact that 20% of the time you feel amazing is very good I think. I'm not sure if hormones could have a factor too as I don't know your age. I'm 52 and I know for sure that hormones play a big factor in my depression.

I hope you feel better soon.

[honeybee]

thanks for your replies.. i went back to bed this morning.. only just got up... my boyfriend has got the day off so he's gone to see his brother... dont know what to say to him... i've always been able to talk things through in the past but im finding it impossible to talk to anyone at the moment... now i feel soooooo guilty cos im giving my boyfriend the cold shoulder and really he's done nothing wrong... i just feel like he'd be better off without me... its not fair on him... one min im completely in love with him then the next minute he's left feeling like im about to split up with him... i dont know what to do... as for a doctor, i havent changed my doctors over since moving house and even if i did i wouldnt be able to get there cos i cant leave the house on my own... and even if i did they'd probably just put me on anti depressants and ive been on them before and had an allergic reaction so im too scared to goon them again... ohhhh, wish i could just slip away without anyone getting hurt...

[groovygranny]

Hello Honeybee. Oh luvvy, I'm sorry you're feeling so down.

I do agree with Alabasterlyn - 20% feeling happy is at least 20% not feeling depressed. I'm not trying to underestimate your feelings here, just trying to be positive.

May be you could ask for a home visit from your doctor? After all, if you had something else that prevented you from going to the surgery he'd come out then wouldn't he?

I think trying to work out if anything needs changing in your life may only cause more stress and confusion at the moment. Concentrate instead, each morning you wake up, on wilfully increasing your 'happy' score by say even 1% per day or week even. Think about your lovely little brother and sisters and what a joy they are to you, and you to them.

Talk to your bf like you used to even if you think you're not getting anywhere - it's the trying that's important to give you an incentive to carry on with life whatever the outcome.

I'm not saying this is going to be easy - on the contrary all of us here know that things can be exactly the opposite. But we're all here for you.


I'll Pm you. Lotsa granny luv to you:flowers:

[honeybee]

thanks GG... i cryed ~~~ ok, i sobbed earlier for about 2 hours... seemed to let a lot out... feeling bit better tonight, still not myself though... anyway thanks for your replies guys and gals... :hugs:

[nomorepanic]

It sounds like you don't have any structure in your life and that can make you feel depressed!

You need to get up and plan things to do to fill the day.

Do you get out atall? Do any exercise?

All of these will help.

I was recently off work for 2 months - got made redundant - and I know how easy it is to do NOTHING all day and sit around being lazy and then you start to feel miserable.

Now I am back at work I have structure again and it does help.

Certainly try and get out more and do things rather than just sleep all day. The more you sleep, the worse you feel - trust me I have seen both sides of the coin recently.

[honeybee3939]

Hi

I know exactly how you feel, i have been there myself many times with the "cant be bothered" syndrome as i call it.:ohmy: And its quite easy to get trapped in that cycle.
Ive started to get involved in activities like Monday i go to a Social Morning, every Monday morning i get that feeling" cant be bothered" but i have realised now if i push myself and make the effort to go, my day seems alot more productive and knowing that i have acheived something makes me feel much better.
Tommorrow Morning i am attending a walking group session and im sat here thinking now that i cant be bothered going tommorrow, but i will get up and go because i know it will make me feel better with-in my self.:)
Sometimes we need that little push to get going but its worth it in the end.:) :)

Hugs
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[honeybee]

hi everyone... just a little recap... im doing 300% better today... letting it all out to you lot yesterday REALLY helped... soooo much.... thank you...

nicola ~ you're right, i dont have any structure in my life... i do get up every morning though but i have nothing to do all day but bumble around... i cant (sorry i'll rephrase that) at this point in my life, i find it really hard to go out on my own, i have signed up to that free online CBT course but i kinda stopped after getting too scared to face my fears but from now on im gonna JFDI... as for exercise, i do do a workout at least 3 times a week but i should try and do more... i used to lovce going to work... i used to be a bar and restaurant manager in a hotel and i also used to set up peoples wedding receptions and stuff and i LOVED it, loved meeting new people etc so i suppose since i havent worked for 3 years im bound to get depressed... i just find it impossible to go out on my own so the idea of working again seems a million miles away...

honeybee3939 ~ i know how you feel, i do just need to push mnyself... im gonna sign up for a home study bookkeeping course today cos my fella is an electrician and is gonna go self employed so i'll be able to at least help with the books... that should keep me occupied... before i start going to any clubs or anything though i need to conquer my fear of going out without my mum or boyfriend...

i was also put on my boyfriends car insurance in nov and so far only had 1 lesson cos i'm really scared im gonna lose control of the car (i dream about it every night) but today ive decided to JFDI so i'll be doing that tonight too... GULP...

SOMETHING HAS GOT TO CHANGE AND IM GOING TO BE THE ONE TO FINALLY MAKE IT HAPPEN...

[james02]

:) Hi honeybee,
What is your feelings today is it good or so so,I think you have some tension. Is it right????
Then you can share with me & our member.I think you dont know what is the problem with you.In my idea just go for yoga or meditation.It will help you toooooooo much.just try it for two weeks you could feel the changes .

:shades:

[happyone]

Hi,

like a previous poster said, depressin doesn't find you down all the time.
there are alternatives to prescription meds which may help you.
St Johns Wort is a recognised herbal anti depressant. If you wanted to try it, I would suggest you went to a recognised herbalist, even if just for the first lot, as they know more about the strengths and stuff. Some of the stuff bought over the counter is very weak and works out to be quite expensive.

Exercise. 20 minutes of activity in the morning, even, in fact particualrly, on the days you don't feel like it. Activity that really gets your heart going, jogging, cycling, power walking, swimming can really set you up for the day.

Take care
happyone
xx