Libra96
16-03-17, 12:14
Hi all, I'm a 20 year old female and have been a hypochondriac for many years but it's usually triggered by what I feel are symptoms of horrific diseases. I suppose it started when I was 14 and convinced myself I had breast cancer, not realising at the time it was puberty changes, and my grandmother died of breast cancer when I was 12 so I suppose I had that in the back of my mind. I thought it for a good couple of years despite it being so incredibly unlikely, and I knew that but wouldn't stop worrying. Then when those fears left, at 16 I had a check up and the nurse (who clearly did not believe being a vegetarian is healthy) suggested I had a blood test for anemia. I was terrified of anything medical so the blood test itself sent me into panic, and after I started worrying about things that could go wrong in your blood, so I thought I might have leukaemia, because I always had bruises. Anyway, I wasn't anemic or anything and eventually those fears went. But then about three years ago I stated having bowel problems, which seem to point to ibs, and being a young female it is very likely but I read an article the other day that bowel cancer has identical symptoms to ibs and now I believe that's what I have and I'm in and terrible state of anxiety and feeling depressed. On top of that I noticed three years ago that I can see my heartbeat in my stomach and left breast and this really freaks me out and every time I look at it I feel like it can't be normal.
My goal is to go to the doctors about my bowel and heart concerns within the next couple months but it is really hard when I have such strong fear and anxiety associated with the doctor. It's horrible. But I can't bare the anxiety with health any longer. It stops me enjoying life and being happy because in the back of my mind I always feel like I can't be happy because I'm not healthy. Some days I go to bed so horribly anxious I feel like I'll go into a full On panic, and then I'll wake up remembering my fears and feel really depressed.
What can I do to get over my medical fears? And to believe doctors when they say I'm healthy? How do I stop the temptation to google every ailment I think I have? Does anyone else ever feel like this because I just hate it!
Thank you
My goal is to go to the doctors about my bowel and heart concerns within the next couple months but it is really hard when I have such strong fear and anxiety associated with the doctor. It's horrible. But I can't bare the anxiety with health any longer. It stops me enjoying life and being happy because in the back of my mind I always feel like I can't be happy because I'm not healthy. Some days I go to bed so horribly anxious I feel like I'll go into a full On panic, and then I'll wake up remembering my fears and feel really depressed.
What can I do to get over my medical fears? And to believe doctors when they say I'm healthy? How do I stop the temptation to google every ailment I think I have? Does anyone else ever feel like this because I just hate it!
Thank you