Isn't the root of all anxiety fear?

[xBettyBoopx]

Sorry, didn't know where to put this, could go anywhere I suppose.

Isn't the root of all anxiety fear? If so why do we try and treat the symptoms rather than what's causing those symptoms? Can we even get rid of the fear?

I've been afraid since I can remember! As I child I thought I was dying of something or that my mum would die whilst I was at school and I would want to run home and make sure she was ok but I would think all day that when I got home there would be police there who told me that my mum had died!! What on earth could cause a child to think that way? Was I born with it or did something happen that I can't remember? Either way is there any way out of this?

Is it being presumptuous to say that all anxiety sufferers are afraid of death or dying? However my sister is afraid of dying and all things to do with it but she doesn't suffer with anxiety! So not all fear of death turns into anxiety.

I'm just trying to figure out how the hell I'm going to overcome this as I get older and more things wrong.....am I fighting a losing battle :weep::weep:

Anyone got any thoughts about this?

xBettyx

[Catherine S]

Hi Betty, I think alot of people fear death, but in different ways. Some people fear death through accidents or catastrophic events like plane crashes or car crashes etc. Others fear death through illness like most people here do. I guess it depends on how much you let the fear, or anxiety... both amount to the same thing to answer your first question...take over.

We all have to die one day and i'm hoping it will be neither because of an accident or illness but peacefully in my sleep. Having said that, there are people on the forum who fear going to sleep for that very reason!

I guess my signature sums up my sentiments anyway :D

ISB x x

[swajj]

Hi Betty, my psychiatrist told me that the root cause of HA is fear of dying. I actually challenged him on that by saying that everyone is scared of dying to a certain point. No one wants to die. So being anxious about it is a normal response. He said I was wrong and I should ask some elderly people if they feared death and they would say no. According to him people reach a certain age where they accept they are going to die. So I guess that is somewhat comforting.

You can overcome your HA and counselling goes a long way towards helping you do that. Can you overcome HA completely? I believe so. I no longer fear dying of some terrible illness. Instead I now fear that my HA will return one day. Now that I am recovered I can look back and rue how much of my life was ruined by HA. 3 years wasted on it the second time. 6 or so months wasted on it the first time. Every single joyous occasion was marred by it because it was always there. I would attend family events and pretend that I was enjoying myself, but there would always be that little voice saying something like "what is that (pick a symptom of something dire) what if it's cancer". I remember the first 6 months after the birth of my last child, which should have been a time of joy, was spent going from one medical appointment to another, waiting to be diagnosed with whatever illness I feared at the time. Such a waste of life. Worse, 10 years later I spent another 3 years of that child's life plagued by my fears. I never want to do that again.

[Clydesdale Epona]

I assume its the same as obsession, not all of us who are afraid of death will have anxiety about it, but it's easy for some of us to obsess and then it escalates.

it's not always the fear of death, my partners is the fear of change and the unknown, it can also be the fear of pain, and many other things, anxiety is like a fire. and our fears can fuel it like gasoline no matter what they are.
i do believe HA can be cured, i personally am not yet but after 6 CBT sessions and a lot of self help i am at a point where i can finally cope with myself, i don't believe we will ever get rid of fear completely as its a natural part of us, we will always be afraid of something, but i do believe we can work out the difference between healthy fear and unhealthy.
some time my head just clicked and i noticed how pointless fear is, so i fear getting an illness one day, what happens if it turns out to be that? will that fear have helped? no it'll just make us panic more when we get diagnosed and stress can really affect your health, i had this thought as i spent the whole day being careful and still got crushed by bus doors, so what's the point? HA took a lot of my childhood away, i'm not going to let it take away everything else too.

i'm not sure if any of this rambling made sense but i do think you can get over it and i wish you the best in doing so :) x

All the best :hugs:

[GlassPinata]

Is it being presumptuous to say that all anxiety sufferers are afraid of death or dying?

Maybe I'm the only one, but I'm actually not afraid of death.
I am afraid of illness.
I'm afraid of pain, debility, medical procedures, disfigurement, indignity, and suffering.
I'm also afraid of losing my loved ones, especially my children.
But as far as actual death? There are many times I have felt it would be a relief.
Cemeteries are peaceful places. I often sit in one near my house and read.
I sometimes feel envious of those who are already dead and don't have to worry about anything anymore.
Yet I am not suicidal and would never attempt to physically harm myself (again, the fear of pain, suffering, disfigurement, etc... not to mention loss of my loved ones, because I wouldn't be with them anymore).
I actually like my life and I want to live it. I just wish there was some way I could skip the part at the end, where I have to be sick and linger around in a hospital bed, hooked up to tubes and stuff, and just go directly to being dead when i can't be healthy anymore.
I guess I'm not alone in that feeling; several states in the US have legalized assisted suicide for individuals with terminal illnesses.
But even that scares me. What if it hurt? What if it was really terrifying?

:unsure:

Being dead doesn't scare me a bit. Being sick terrifies me.
maybe when the time comes, it won't be so bad. But I'm pretty sure it will be.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Betty, my psychiatrist told me that the root cause of HA is fear of dying. I actually challenged him on that by saying that everyone is scared of dying to a certain point. No one wants to die. So being anxious about it is a normal response. He said I was wrong and I should ask some elderly people if they feared death and they would say no. According to him people reach a certain age where they accept they are going to die. So I guess that is somewhat comforting.

.

It's the same with people who are terminally ill who come to terms with the inevitability of their situation in order to not allow it go costume them and lose their final days to fear when they could enjoy what they have.

That's the same with the elderly with the addition that they have had their lives and now experience constant health issues removing their quality of life bit by bit.

But to say everybody is the same is a generalisation. Nobody knows since nobody tries to survey everyone.

Attitudes just change as you age. You have to come to terms with many things that you can't do anymore. The same applies to the attitude to death but what we also need to remember is that most people fear death in a normal way, not an obsessive way. Therefore their acceptance of circumstances is going to come easier because they are less resistant to it in the first place.

I don't fear death and I'm not a HAer either. But if someone put a gun in my face or I learnt I had a condition that is associated with death, I'm bound to have some reaction to it.

Betty, I believe that at some point our mindset shifts naturally. I'm a different person to who I was twenty years ago and I'm different to my early thirties. I think life brings a certain amount of natural acceptance.

My parents are mid seventies. My dad has siblings into their nineties as he was the last of 13 kids. He has lost several of them to cancers, one who had cancer for 10 years! They've also lost friends too. They just deal with it. If you asked them they would tell you the importance of keeping things normal in terminal situations for the sufferer. To them they know it's just the time of life where this is a natural event and they grieve but it almost seems like they take things as expected.

You will adapt.

I can remember my nana telling my mum she just wanted to go. She said she had done everything she ever would and she missed my grandad who died a few years before. She passed a few days later. In a way it was nice because there was no fear, she greeted death. Maybe our loved ones reach out to us at that age?