Librella
18-03-17, 00:24
Warning: this deals with a real health issue, may be triggering
A few weeks ago my mom passed out and went to the ER. After many tests, it turned out that she had a pelvic tumor. That was bad enough, but the biopsy results revealed that she has an extremely rare bone cancer. It has already spread to her liver. Because of the demands on the hospital she hasn't even started treatment yet. The doctors don't know much about this disease. I suspect that she hasn't told me everything, she acts like it's curable but I feel like she's lying and it's terminal. (might be HA talking.)
My dad had cancer two years ago. That was less serious, stage 1 and got rid of it with radiation. However, it increased my anxiety about my parents' mortality, and also made my own HA skyrocket. The year after he was diagnosed was the worst year I ever had for HA and I'm still dealing with it. I know it sounds selfish to worry about stupid fake medical problems when my dad really had cancer, but that's how my brain dealt with it.
So now he's finally recovered and my mom has cancer instead. The first few days after I found out I felt sick with anxiety. Now I just feel numb. I'm really close with my parents and they were there for me when I felt like I had no friends because of social anxiety. I realize I have to lose them sometime but I don't know how to deal with it. I live several states away and can't be there in person so that makes it harder. My mom keeps telling me "the best thing you can do is keep being happy," but I wasn't that happy in the first place? :huh:
Due to the social anxiety I'm bad at reaching out, I feel like I should get therapy about this but not sure where to start.
A few weeks ago my mom passed out and went to the ER. After many tests, it turned out that she had a pelvic tumor. That was bad enough, but the biopsy results revealed that she has an extremely rare bone cancer. It has already spread to her liver. Because of the demands on the hospital she hasn't even started treatment yet. The doctors don't know much about this disease. I suspect that she hasn't told me everything, she acts like it's curable but I feel like she's lying and it's terminal. (might be HA talking.)
My dad had cancer two years ago. That was less serious, stage 1 and got rid of it with radiation. However, it increased my anxiety about my parents' mortality, and also made my own HA skyrocket. The year after he was diagnosed was the worst year I ever had for HA and I'm still dealing with it. I know it sounds selfish to worry about stupid fake medical problems when my dad really had cancer, but that's how my brain dealt with it.
So now he's finally recovered and my mom has cancer instead. The first few days after I found out I felt sick with anxiety. Now I just feel numb. I'm really close with my parents and they were there for me when I felt like I had no friends because of social anxiety. I realize I have to lose them sometime but I don't know how to deal with it. I live several states away and can't be there in person so that makes it harder. My mom keeps telling me "the best thing you can do is keep being happy," but I wasn't that happy in the first place? :huh:
Due to the social anxiety I'm bad at reaching out, I feel like I should get therapy about this but not sure where to start.