View Full Version : Cant take this anymore
I cant cope with this anymore i really cant. Im at rock bottom every single day is a constant struggle . I either think im having heart attack or because of leg pain i think i have a clot its a constant thing all the time. It doesnt matter how many tests ive had or how many times ive been told im ok i cant accept it. Its at the point where even the hospital fob me off and wont do tests because of the amount of tests ive had and they all fine they wont even do d dimer to check for clot. Nobody will take me seriously at all. My life is ruined because of this and i cant seem to find a way out of it right now. I feel like even if there was something wrong with me physically nobody would care anyway because they wont listen .
Hi Ella32,
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. It sounds like you are very low at the moment, and very frustrated because of the way your health anxiety is pulling you around.
I think the solution is to go to your doctor and talk frankly about how you're feeling, and get some strategies to tackle the anxiety. I would book an appointment with a sympathetic GP. They will welcome the chance to discuss the source of the problem with you and will respect you for taking this step.
Good luck!
ServerError
18-03-17, 13:24
Medical testing is incredibly expensive. If everybody who ever worried about some physical sensation was given exhaustive testing, health systems would collapse. The reason you "can't get the hospital to take you seriously" is because there is no clinical indication that you need further testing. Believe me, they actually are taking you seriously. The response you're getting is the one that is clinically indicated. Hospitals don't send people away with blood clots.
As always, the only way back to a better existence for you is the tried and tested methods of therapy and medication. You may have already tried this, but it remains the best treatment we have for anxiety disorders. This is the direction you should be looking in. There is literally no other choice. Medical testing clearly doesn't help you, so there's no reason to believe even further testing would. Posting on here doesn't seem to help you. What more can you do? Go to your doctor, spell out everything that's going on, show him/her this and some of your other threads, and seek the help you need.
blindfaith
18-03-17, 13:29
Hi ella32:flowers:
I am new here, so I took the time to read through some of your older posts, and I am sorry that you are going through this for so long. You said that no matter what tests you have or what you are told, you just cannot accept it. That is admitting that even if the doctors did do more tests, you wouldn't believe the results anyway.
I am very happy that your test results all came back good. That is wonderful news. That is the kind of news you want to get when you have tests done. I know how hard it is believing that nothing is wrong, and feeling like no one is taking you seriously. For how bad your symptoms are, you think for sure they will find the problem. Then they say all is fine. You are on a witch hunt, but cannot find the witch.
You had said in earlier posts that you were on medication, and that you were in counseling. I know the last thing you want here right now is about medication and counseling, but you have to work just as hard, and even harder than the doctors, at finding solutions and finding what does and does not work.
beatroon suggested going to your doctor. I agree. Maybe a new medication or a new therapist or counselor would be a huge help. You are not alone! You are willing to help yourself, or you wouldn't be here, and your life is not ruined. You can and I think you will find a way out of it. Stay strong, and good luck. Sending you positive thoughts:flowers:
nomorepanic
18-03-17, 13:42
I have merged your threads together
Im about to start some new medication because the one i was on isnt helping at all. Im just at a point where i feel like my life is over that ill never be free from this . I dont even know if medication can help me anymore . Its a non stop thing every second of every day . Im practically housebound because of this i spend most of my day lying on the couch yet i worry about blood clots. I cant continue like this yet i cant see a way to make it better either
I am sorry you are in such a state of despair. Sadly that is what unchecked anxiety does. It LIES and LIES and LIES and its victim listens to all of the lies and sinks farther into the hole. Unfortunately anxiety is one of those illnesses that requires the person to basically "suck it up". I don't mean that in a bad way but meaning that it is up to the sufferer to do all of the heavy lifting. There is no med, no counselor, no loving friend, no random person on an anxiety forum that will magically fix this. These things can be tools but the sufferer has to use those tools to help pull himself/herself out of the hole. The sufferer has to abandon the reactive behaviors---seeking reassurance through family, friends, UNECESSARY med testing, needs to stop googling, needs to stop self-checking, monitoring. The sufferer has to start being proactive. Use the tools---meds, therapy, yoga, hobbies, exercise, etc. Yep it is damned hard and may seem like others are abandoning them or judging them. It is a hard thing to get through. But a thinking disorder is an illness in thinking. Again the thinking is lying and the sufferer not only believes those lies but often defends the lies. To get better the lies must be challenged and defeated. I do feel for you. I really do. It completely sucks feeling like that.
Two of my bro's in law are in the shrink biz--one is a ph.d psychologist and the other is an MD psychiatrist. One is fond of saying--- "if the therapist is working harder than the patient, therapy fails". Meaning--basically as I said above--- the anxiety sufferer is the one pulling the heavy weight and the therapist and meds are tools.
blindfaith
18-03-17, 14:52
It takes time to find the right medication or even a combination of medications to get you on the road to recovery. It is very frustrating, but don't give up. The right medicine will help.
No you can't continue like this, and you should be proud off yourself for saying so:)
Your life is not over, you are just going through a difficult time. It is very hard to find the energy to do anything when you are going through something like this. You gotta dig deep, and tell yourself I Can Do This! And you can do this. Sometimes just saying the words can lift your spirits up.
One step at a time. You can do this!
I feel like there is no hope for me . All the hospital did for me was measure my legs and because they both same size sent me on my way regardless of the pain im in with it. I can barely put weight on it . My psych doctor went behind my back and told the hospital not to do anymore tests on me so now i dont trust her at all . The one place where your meant to be helped and meant to feel safe has literally fobbed me off and wont help me so on top of going through this i feel so useless and so alone. The reason i know the psych doctor told them is because i was told by the a&e doctor
blindfaith
18-03-17, 15:44
You mentioned starting a new medicine, do you know when that will be?
You mentioned starting a new medicine, do you know when that will be?
Ive been started on lexapro and ativan to take when needed
blindfaith
18-03-17, 16:15
You said you were about to start new medication, because the one you were on isn't helping at all. Is the Lexapro the one you feel isn't helping, or is it the new one?
Are you taking the Ativan?
You said you were about to start new medication, because the one you were on isn't helping at all. Is the Lexapro the one you feel isn't helping, or is it the new one?
Are you taking the Ativan?
Lexapro is the new one. I take the ativan when anxiety really high and panic hits.
blindfaith
18-03-17, 16:38
Okay, thanks for clarifying. So, have you taken an Ativan since we have been talking?
Also, I wanted to ask you if you have ever went to the arcade here and just sat and played some games? It is fun, I go and try to beat the others high scores, but I never can.
I took an ativan this morning . I sometimes play the games but what im caught up in is the constant worse case scenario thoughts and i cant escape them no matter what i do
blindfaith
18-03-17, 17:14
Catastrophic Thinking is terrible. Your mind jumps right to the worst thing it could be. What you need to practice is reminding yourself that it could not be the worst thing also.
At the end of the day, it comes down to you. Just like the doctors, and how you need to do more work then them, same goes with the medicine. You have to do your part also. Leaving your comfort zone, even when it is unhealthy, is a very scary thing. But you can do it, one day at a time, one step at a time. I wish you lots of luck.
I feel like there is no hope for me . All the hospital did for me was measure my legs and because they both same size sent me on my way regardless of the pain im in with it. I can barely put weight on it . My psych doctor went behind my back and told the hospital not to do anymore tests on me so now i dont trust her at all . The one place where your meant to be helped and meant to feel safe has literally fobbed me off and wont help me so on top of going through this i feel so useless and so alone. The reason i know the psych doctor told them is because i was told by the a&e doctor
Nobody has "fobbed you off", they're just sick of giving you expensive tests over and over again with the same result.
Hospitals aren't there to grant you tests because you want them, they're there to give you tests and treatment that you need. I think your psych doctor was 100% correct, giving you more tests is just feeding into your anxiety.
It's time to deal with your anxiety. Stop rushing to A&E for every little twinge, ella, at least try to rationalise a bit with yourself before you rush off to hospital demanding more pointless testing.
"If the therapist is working harder than the patient, therapy fails"
Perfect.
I agree with your therapist. The last thing you need is more medical testing. It is only feeding your mental illness.
Your anxiety is lying to you. LYING.
I agree with all that Gary said as well.
I cant cope with this anymore i really cant. Im at rock bottom every single day is a constant struggle . I either think im having heart attack or because of leg pain i think i have a clot its a constant thing all the time. It doesnt matter how many tests ive had or how many times ive been told im ok i cant accept it. Its at the point where even the hospital fob me off and wont do tests because of the amount of tests ive had and they all fine they wont even do d dimer to check for clot. Nobody will take me seriously at all. My life is ruined because of this and i cant seem to find a way out of it right now. I feel like even if there was something wrong with me physically nobody would care anyway because they wont listen .
I'm the same ella at the moment I'm stuggling day to day ive been on a cardio ward for 3 days now. Had chest xray blood tests and a echo. People are telling me I'm fine I'm really confused don't feel well at all. My hubby today has gone to football don't know how I'm gonna cope with my 2 children:weep:
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.