Apothael
18-03-17, 15:49
Half a month ago I started having problems seeing in the dark, which evolved into a blinking after image in the centre of my view 24/7 after obsessing over it. I couldn't look at people's faces.
I feared the worst, and went to the Optician's for an eye test and they said everything checked out fine - no swelling or signs of a Brain Tumour or anything amiss. So I put it down to stress.
A few days later I'm in the cinema and on edge because I am seeing a halo around white areas of the screen and I read that double vision was a symptom of a BT. As I sit like this, somebody in the cinema starts smoking something - and I am not aware that other people can smell it so believe I'm dying or having a stroke.
I get a headrush, and there's a very dull - not really painful - pang and I feel like I'm going to have a bowel movement and die right there.
This is my first ever "Panic Attack" but it didn't quite feel how I'd imagined a panic attack. No hyperventilating. My heart rate was increased but not pounding against my ribs. I did feel as though this was the end, though.
That evening I felt lightheaded, nauseous and like I wouldn't make it to the next morning - where I'd scheduled a Doctor's appointment.
He said it did sound like anxiety. He looked at my eye too, and said everything looked normal. I had another eye exam done the next day by the family optician - who said the same thing and said he really didn't recommend seeing a neurologist.
After this my vision got slightly better, but now I do have very slight double vision that's only noticeable with bright screens or with a bright object against a dark background/dark object against a bright background. This is 24/7 and seems to be worse when I am nervy - though I'm not entirely confident about that observation.
The other thing that's new is that after the incident in the cinema I was constantly on the alert for weird smells and have developed Phantosmia that will last for a whiff or several seconds. I can even get two different smells in a very short space of time and they're almost always cliche Phantom Smells or smells from my past - sometimes I recognise them other times I can't quite put my finger on what they are.
Another visit to a different Doc and he tells me to stop relying on Doctor Google, and he was so confident about my eyes since three professionals had examined them that he didn't check again. It is textbook anxiety. He did offer a full bloods test to put my mind at ease and I leapt on that - and it seems nothing is the matter in that department despite a slightly abnormal liver function that he will be following up in a matter of weeks.
What's really bugging me at the moment is that when I'm finally able to calm down something will come out of the woodwork and start tormenting me. The phantom smells have died down but I still get them randomly as well as strange tastes. A few times the smell will coincide with a headrush similar to the feeling in the cinema - and it will usually be a burning smell - and I'll rush to a mirror or take out my phone to make sure my face isn't drooping because I'm scared it's complex partial seizure. I've also developed a very slight tremor that comes and goes that's usually in my head but sometimes causes my whole body to shake with my pulse. Even when my breathing is relaxed this doesn't go away until it wants to.
I'm going to talk to a neuropsychologist in a week, as that's the soonest I can see her, but I'm scared of what will happen to me in the meantime.
Anybody else have/dealt with and come through similar problems. My Doctor said to just try living again and ignore all symptoms - and I admit I haven't been able to do that completely for one full day - but they seem so real and the slight tremor - which sometimes goes hand in hand with a little dizziness - is unpredictable and appears even when I'm trying to ignore everything else. I'm also stumbling over words without thinking about them and have a very low attention span. I don't know if this is some combination of me being aloof when on defence and anxiety or it means something more.
How do I get out of this? The smells in particular or so vivid, but you can rationally link the trauma in the cinema to their conception... I've just never had anything like this happen to me before. Should I really just ignore everything?
Thanks for reading this.
I feared the worst, and went to the Optician's for an eye test and they said everything checked out fine - no swelling or signs of a Brain Tumour or anything amiss. So I put it down to stress.
A few days later I'm in the cinema and on edge because I am seeing a halo around white areas of the screen and I read that double vision was a symptom of a BT. As I sit like this, somebody in the cinema starts smoking something - and I am not aware that other people can smell it so believe I'm dying or having a stroke.
I get a headrush, and there's a very dull - not really painful - pang and I feel like I'm going to have a bowel movement and die right there.
This is my first ever "Panic Attack" but it didn't quite feel how I'd imagined a panic attack. No hyperventilating. My heart rate was increased but not pounding against my ribs. I did feel as though this was the end, though.
That evening I felt lightheaded, nauseous and like I wouldn't make it to the next morning - where I'd scheduled a Doctor's appointment.
He said it did sound like anxiety. He looked at my eye too, and said everything looked normal. I had another eye exam done the next day by the family optician - who said the same thing and said he really didn't recommend seeing a neurologist.
After this my vision got slightly better, but now I do have very slight double vision that's only noticeable with bright screens or with a bright object against a dark background/dark object against a bright background. This is 24/7 and seems to be worse when I am nervy - though I'm not entirely confident about that observation.
The other thing that's new is that after the incident in the cinema I was constantly on the alert for weird smells and have developed Phantosmia that will last for a whiff or several seconds. I can even get two different smells in a very short space of time and they're almost always cliche Phantom Smells or smells from my past - sometimes I recognise them other times I can't quite put my finger on what they are.
Another visit to a different Doc and he tells me to stop relying on Doctor Google, and he was so confident about my eyes since three professionals had examined them that he didn't check again. It is textbook anxiety. He did offer a full bloods test to put my mind at ease and I leapt on that - and it seems nothing is the matter in that department despite a slightly abnormal liver function that he will be following up in a matter of weeks.
What's really bugging me at the moment is that when I'm finally able to calm down something will come out of the woodwork and start tormenting me. The phantom smells have died down but I still get them randomly as well as strange tastes. A few times the smell will coincide with a headrush similar to the feeling in the cinema - and it will usually be a burning smell - and I'll rush to a mirror or take out my phone to make sure my face isn't drooping because I'm scared it's complex partial seizure. I've also developed a very slight tremor that comes and goes that's usually in my head but sometimes causes my whole body to shake with my pulse. Even when my breathing is relaxed this doesn't go away until it wants to.
I'm going to talk to a neuropsychologist in a week, as that's the soonest I can see her, but I'm scared of what will happen to me in the meantime.
Anybody else have/dealt with and come through similar problems. My Doctor said to just try living again and ignore all symptoms - and I admit I haven't been able to do that completely for one full day - but they seem so real and the slight tremor - which sometimes goes hand in hand with a little dizziness - is unpredictable and appears even when I'm trying to ignore everything else. I'm also stumbling over words without thinking about them and have a very low attention span. I don't know if this is some combination of me being aloof when on defence and anxiety or it means something more.
How do I get out of this? The smells in particular or so vivid, but you can rationally link the trauma in the cinema to their conception... I've just never had anything like this happen to me before. Should I really just ignore everything?
Thanks for reading this.