btsnyder
20-03-17, 03:20
Here is my story. Any advice or help you can provide would be most appreciated.
In January, I began experiencing mild, persistent headaches. the dull, tension-like pain was present off and on throughout the day. On Jan. 20, I finally went to primary care physician (GP) and he chalked it up to stress, prescribing acupuncture, meditation, medical cannabis, supplements, yoga, and if needed, therapy. I've never been -- or thought of myself -- as a person who suffered from anxiety. In fact, I'm thought of as the most even-keeled person in my family. But I had been going through some difficult family and work problems, so I though that maybe I really was perpetually anxious and didn't really realize it.
One of the things causing me anxiety was in late December, I cheated on my husband (we're a same-sex couple). with a few hookups with men of unknown status. None of what happened is considered "high-risk," at least for HIV.
During the last several weeks, the headaches largely improved, but were replaced by intermittent nausea. It also feels like my lymph nodes ache, though they don't appear to be swollen (my physician didn't find them swollen last week, either). Just felt/feel generally blah. This all started shortly after my indiscretions -- I keep wondering if my symptoms are from anxiety from this and the family drama or from an illness I acquired.
So six weeks after my initial visit with my PCP, I went to my annual physical exam, still feeling "off." The exam went fine, though my blood pressure was high (even though I've been on lisinopril for a couple years). A complete blood count (CBC) was taken and some of my key blood counts were off -- particularly a low white blood cell count and a few others.
My PCP didn't seem super concerned, though he did order another test to see if the counts improved in the week since the last test. He didn't think it was leukemia (he warned me that would come up when I went home and Googled) and, with my bad behavior in December constantly on my mind, I asked about HIV and he didn't think it was that, either. In fact, I had to request an HIV test to accompany the second CBC (he is gay as well, and an expert in LGBT care). I was negative on my last test last February. This appointment was last Wednesday. He said he would call as soon as the results were in to "reassure" me -- he also knows about my touch of health anxiety. I haven't heard from him yet (it's the following Sunday).
As the days have gone by since the appointment, I've lost my appetite (something that has never happened to me), feel nauseous most of the time and haven't really been able to sleep. This makes me wonder if these symptoms are stress or are the disease I haven't been diagnosed with? I just feel that something is really wrong with me and HIV is always on my mind, even though I played "safe" (low white blood cell count can indicate HIV). I feel like I'm going out of my mind. If it's not HIV, what is it? Could it be leukemia or lymphoma? He thinks it's a winter virus and that my counts are rebounding from that. But I was never sick and I rarely ever get sick. I wonder if he's just going to the best-case scenario? I'm tired of being constantly terrified. I feel that the next week is going to be the end of something and the beginning of something...scary.
And tomorrow, I'm also scheduled for a glaucoma screening, since I was diagnosed with ocular hypertension a couple weeks ago at my annual eye exam. More anxiety.
Since my doctor hasn't yet "reassured" me, can you? What are your thoughts? Has anyone been through anything similar?
In January, I began experiencing mild, persistent headaches. the dull, tension-like pain was present off and on throughout the day. On Jan. 20, I finally went to primary care physician (GP) and he chalked it up to stress, prescribing acupuncture, meditation, medical cannabis, supplements, yoga, and if needed, therapy. I've never been -- or thought of myself -- as a person who suffered from anxiety. In fact, I'm thought of as the most even-keeled person in my family. But I had been going through some difficult family and work problems, so I though that maybe I really was perpetually anxious and didn't really realize it.
One of the things causing me anxiety was in late December, I cheated on my husband (we're a same-sex couple). with a few hookups with men of unknown status. None of what happened is considered "high-risk," at least for HIV.
During the last several weeks, the headaches largely improved, but were replaced by intermittent nausea. It also feels like my lymph nodes ache, though they don't appear to be swollen (my physician didn't find them swollen last week, either). Just felt/feel generally blah. This all started shortly after my indiscretions -- I keep wondering if my symptoms are from anxiety from this and the family drama or from an illness I acquired.
So six weeks after my initial visit with my PCP, I went to my annual physical exam, still feeling "off." The exam went fine, though my blood pressure was high (even though I've been on lisinopril for a couple years). A complete blood count (CBC) was taken and some of my key blood counts were off -- particularly a low white blood cell count and a few others.
My PCP didn't seem super concerned, though he did order another test to see if the counts improved in the week since the last test. He didn't think it was leukemia (he warned me that would come up when I went home and Googled) and, with my bad behavior in December constantly on my mind, I asked about HIV and he didn't think it was that, either. In fact, I had to request an HIV test to accompany the second CBC (he is gay as well, and an expert in LGBT care). I was negative on my last test last February. This appointment was last Wednesday. He said he would call as soon as the results were in to "reassure" me -- he also knows about my touch of health anxiety. I haven't heard from him yet (it's the following Sunday).
As the days have gone by since the appointment, I've lost my appetite (something that has never happened to me), feel nauseous most of the time and haven't really been able to sleep. This makes me wonder if these symptoms are stress or are the disease I haven't been diagnosed with? I just feel that something is really wrong with me and HIV is always on my mind, even though I played "safe" (low white blood cell count can indicate HIV). I feel like I'm going out of my mind. If it's not HIV, what is it? Could it be leukemia or lymphoma? He thinks it's a winter virus and that my counts are rebounding from that. But I was never sick and I rarely ever get sick. I wonder if he's just going to the best-case scenario? I'm tired of being constantly terrified. I feel that the next week is going to be the end of something and the beginning of something...scary.
And tomorrow, I'm also scheduled for a glaucoma screening, since I was diagnosed with ocular hypertension a couple weeks ago at my annual eye exam. More anxiety.
Since my doctor hasn't yet "reassured" me, can you? What are your thoughts? Has anyone been through anything similar?