LRD
20-03-17, 21:57
Hi everyone.
I am 22 and a single mum. I have suffered depression/anxiety for as long as I can remember. i will tell you my own personal story, sorry for rambling.
in 2015 I got pregnant with my then boyfriend. I stopped taking my medication due to fears for my child. Around 30 weeks my symptoms started. Twitching all over body, tremors in all limbs and necks and facial muscles (couldn't close my eyes for a while due to them tremoring open) severe pain in all joints and down limbs, spasms so bad my limbs would lose control and even a few minor seizures (without losing consciousness, severe pain in my spine. Like you do I started googling, I was convinced- I was dying from ALS. (my worst nightmare being paralysed).
Long story short, I was in a really bad place, wasnt myself, I have never been so mentally unwell in my life. I ended up being sectioned and had a suicide attempt through cutting my wrists (I used to be a self harmer) I thought the doctors were wrong, nobody could get through to me, I was living in my own hell, so alone and scared. Anyway a lot of medication and 2 clear EMG's later I started to mentally recover.
10 months on I still have the symptoms but I am working together with my doctor to get to the bottom of it, I have to fight every day to not go back to the dark place I was in. I am enjoying my beautiful baby and every day of life. I have days where the fears haunt me and my scars will never go away, but i am stronger than my anxiety.
since then I have found out I have thyroid issues and I had an MRI on my spine today and got a phone call saying I need to go to my doctors this week. Normally, I would have lost myself with worry, but i am staying calm, and thinking maybe it will be good, maybe they know what is wrong with me and I can recover. Worries haunt me but they are not my life anymore.
I really, truly, 100 percent thought I was dying, so now I take every day as a gift, anything can happen to anyone at any time, mental illness will not be my legacy.
I joined this website to reassure people and help with concerns, along with asking for help for mine, because come on we are all human, i still worry and get down. But every day I wake up with my little boy smiling at me is a good day.
Thanks for reading, wishing all of you a happy healthy life. Mental illness does not define us :)
LRD x
oh and i shall add I have history of auto-immune disease and stomach problems stemming from peritonitis when younger, I should just give up now, haha joking!
I am 22 and a single mum. I have suffered depression/anxiety for as long as I can remember. i will tell you my own personal story, sorry for rambling.
in 2015 I got pregnant with my then boyfriend. I stopped taking my medication due to fears for my child. Around 30 weeks my symptoms started. Twitching all over body, tremors in all limbs and necks and facial muscles (couldn't close my eyes for a while due to them tremoring open) severe pain in all joints and down limbs, spasms so bad my limbs would lose control and even a few minor seizures (without losing consciousness, severe pain in my spine. Like you do I started googling, I was convinced- I was dying from ALS. (my worst nightmare being paralysed).
Long story short, I was in a really bad place, wasnt myself, I have never been so mentally unwell in my life. I ended up being sectioned and had a suicide attempt through cutting my wrists (I used to be a self harmer) I thought the doctors were wrong, nobody could get through to me, I was living in my own hell, so alone and scared. Anyway a lot of medication and 2 clear EMG's later I started to mentally recover.
10 months on I still have the symptoms but I am working together with my doctor to get to the bottom of it, I have to fight every day to not go back to the dark place I was in. I am enjoying my beautiful baby and every day of life. I have days where the fears haunt me and my scars will never go away, but i am stronger than my anxiety.
since then I have found out I have thyroid issues and I had an MRI on my spine today and got a phone call saying I need to go to my doctors this week. Normally, I would have lost myself with worry, but i am staying calm, and thinking maybe it will be good, maybe they know what is wrong with me and I can recover. Worries haunt me but they are not my life anymore.
I really, truly, 100 percent thought I was dying, so now I take every day as a gift, anything can happen to anyone at any time, mental illness will not be my legacy.
I joined this website to reassure people and help with concerns, along with asking for help for mine, because come on we are all human, i still worry and get down. But every day I wake up with my little boy smiling at me is a good day.
Thanks for reading, wishing all of you a happy healthy life. Mental illness does not define us :)
LRD x
oh and i shall add I have history of auto-immune disease and stomach problems stemming from peritonitis when younger, I should just give up now, haha joking!