DarkHorse
27-03-17, 09:06
Hello all.
This is the first forum I have come across with that directly relates to panic and anxiety. I am already feeling better and am definitely feeling some positive vibes just thinking that there are other people exactly like me all around the world.
So hello and good morning to all of you!
I dont know how you are supposed to construct this first introductory post. So I guess I will start with what my problem is.
I think that I usually come across as a very positive and happy person which is actually a bit ironic. And it's funny because I think that I am indeed positive. But only when it comes to others and giving them advice rather than myself.
I have only been self diagnosed with general anxiety. As most of you I suppose, I too overthink things until it makes me nauseous and exhausted which if I'm unlucky usually leads to a panic attack.
Every day a new challenge awaits for me. This is how I feel lately. The moment I "decide" I am over some (often imaginary) problem, a new one appears and it makes the previous problem seem like its little naive brother.
I feel sorry for myself because it seems like I have been extremely unlucky. When I was 18 I left home to go study abroad for 3 years. No amount of fear in my brain whatsoever. It was just something I knew I would do and that was that. Never did it occur to me that something bad could ever happen during those 3 years. When I graduated I didn't want to leave. I did not miss home that much. Seeing my family every 3 months seemed plenty and talking to them over skype everyday made the distance seem even smaller.
But alas, certain circumstances forced me to return home and start my career here. But I it was always in the back of my brain that soon enough I would be able to leave again and live and work abroad.
Now here's the irony. About a year since I came back home all this madness started. Long story short, I begun to be afraid of traveling. I am afraid of planes. I am afraid of spending the night anywhere else but home. I am afraid of being alone in a foreign country where my parents cannot protect me. I am afraid of doing all the things that I once hoped that would make my life great.
All this fear has made me lose faith in myself. I convince myself that I am not supposed to do big things when once I thought I was only made to do something great. I overthink everything and always think about what if and making the worst scenario in my head. All this negativity has of course manifested physically too. Like nausea, shortness of breath, heart beating fast, stomach aches etc.
Every day I try to make myself believe that I will make it work! That things can and will be like they were a few years ago! But sometimes at night when I am all tired from work, all these dreams seem too far away for me to grasp.
I will not give up though. I am very resourceful. I will find a way...
This is the first forum I have come across with that directly relates to panic and anxiety. I am already feeling better and am definitely feeling some positive vibes just thinking that there are other people exactly like me all around the world.
So hello and good morning to all of you!
I dont know how you are supposed to construct this first introductory post. So I guess I will start with what my problem is.
I think that I usually come across as a very positive and happy person which is actually a bit ironic. And it's funny because I think that I am indeed positive. But only when it comes to others and giving them advice rather than myself.
I have only been self diagnosed with general anxiety. As most of you I suppose, I too overthink things until it makes me nauseous and exhausted which if I'm unlucky usually leads to a panic attack.
Every day a new challenge awaits for me. This is how I feel lately. The moment I "decide" I am over some (often imaginary) problem, a new one appears and it makes the previous problem seem like its little naive brother.
I feel sorry for myself because it seems like I have been extremely unlucky. When I was 18 I left home to go study abroad for 3 years. No amount of fear in my brain whatsoever. It was just something I knew I would do and that was that. Never did it occur to me that something bad could ever happen during those 3 years. When I graduated I didn't want to leave. I did not miss home that much. Seeing my family every 3 months seemed plenty and talking to them over skype everyday made the distance seem even smaller.
But alas, certain circumstances forced me to return home and start my career here. But I it was always in the back of my brain that soon enough I would be able to leave again and live and work abroad.
Now here's the irony. About a year since I came back home all this madness started. Long story short, I begun to be afraid of traveling. I am afraid of planes. I am afraid of spending the night anywhere else but home. I am afraid of being alone in a foreign country where my parents cannot protect me. I am afraid of doing all the things that I once hoped that would make my life great.
All this fear has made me lose faith in myself. I convince myself that I am not supposed to do big things when once I thought I was only made to do something great. I overthink everything and always think about what if and making the worst scenario in my head. All this negativity has of course manifested physically too. Like nausea, shortness of breath, heart beating fast, stomach aches etc.
Every day I try to make myself believe that I will make it work! That things can and will be like they were a few years ago! But sometimes at night when I am all tired from work, all these dreams seem too far away for me to grasp.
I will not give up though. I am very resourceful. I will find a way...