Tired and ready for change. But how?

[DarkHorse]

Dear all,

Like all of you I have been suffering from anxiety. I have suffered from panic attacks and loads and loads of anxiety caused by overthinking.

I do realise that what i need to do is to be positive about all the good things i have in my life and stop focusing on the bad ones.

My problem though is that I also want to get something in return. I am a bit tired of just trying to be ore optimistic and trying to convince myself that everything will be ok. I need something to change otherwise I can't find much more strength.

The change I need is a romantic one. I need someone in my life to share all my love with but it just doesnt happen for me.

How can I make such things happen for me?
I am sorry if Im posting this in the wrong section. Please redirect me if I am mistaken.

[vapourtrail]

Hi Darkhorse,

First of all, I totally understand what you are saying because in some ways I am in the same position with regards to wanting to find someone in a romantic sense.

See wanting to meet someone for romantic reasons as a positive, as something exciting. This is what I am trying to do. Ive avoided serious relationships for a while although I've gone on dating sites and such, but I think part of me has avoided taking it further because of the anxiety and such. Recently I have decided to try again and just be completely open in what I want, something romantic, that I am sensitive, emotionally open and that I am a kind of mix between introvert and extrovert etc etc.

Yes we suffer from anxiety, but if someone is right for us, they will accept this and help us through that when we need it as we will be there for them for their times in need. That is what a relationship can be if we find the right one, support and love and openness, right?:)

[Deckard]

Hey DarkHorse,

I also tend to focus on the bad things in my life, although it makes no sense, really. I have a lot I should be happy about.

It has already turned me into a pessimist; I am gloomy most of the time. I mean, I can still have fun, laugh with friends and work colleagues, but it always feels like there is something missing. I have always been a worrier, but I remember a time when it didn't bother me as much, didn't cause full-blown panic attacks, only anxiety. The social anxiety part used to be most prominent, but I guess it affected me only moderately because I just avoided certain types of situations. The romantic aspect of life is also something I don't know how to approach. I don't even know what I want, to be honest. Commitment scares me, as well as being alone (although alone is all I have ever experienced in that regard...). I have no idea how to make it happen for me either. I have explored things like online dating, but it hasn't led to anything yet. Maybe I should give it more time, or it is just my scepticism towards it that's an obstacle.

So sadly, I cannot give you more advice on how to make it happen for you. I can only give you the feeling that you are not alone.


--deckard