Do Health Professionals see our pain?

[clickaway]

Went to the psychiatrist yestreday. I was referred to her by my Occupational Therapist and the first thing she said was "I don't know why you are here, I don't have any notes on you since 2004". Well, I have seen the OT about 15 times since then.

But my real point is I put up a good show in her presence as I was in the company of someome who was there for me. Shortly after I got back I went for a short walk along the canal and felt so vulnerable out in the elements and was soon in panic. My symptoms caught me in much pain last night and again this morning.

Just wish these people could share my feelings as they really are - it's so hard to explain. I feel such a mess. It's as if I need a 'feelings' version of a CCTV camera following me all the time.

Sigh...

[Piglet]

Morning lovely,

I know exactly what you mean here cos I think I can put on such a good show that it looks like I am fine too. An awful lot of the time I am indeed fine but there is no doubt that I have anxiety and all its unpleasant physical and emotional symptoms.

I need to remember this when I finally get this appt through, not to give too good a show, or I will have wasted all our time. We are programmed arnt we to show that stiff upper lip from a very early age, which is both our strength and our weakness. Hoist by our petard as the saying goes.

Love Piglet :flowers:

[bearcrazy]

i think most medics have only text book cases to work on. If they had to go through what we did maybe they'd be more understanding. I'm a bit scared now cos I am sposed to be seeing a psych soon. Think I'll just be my normal self and howl through the appointment!

[W.I.F.T.S.]

I don't know whether therapists become 'hardened' to these sort of things as a form of self preservation or even whether many of them are just inept?The first one that I saw listened to me talk about how not being very close to my parents, relationship difficulties, work stress, financial worries and drugs had contributed to my downfall and summised "it was basically drugs then?!!"

I guess as well that they can see how hysterical we're being and that we're getting things out of proportion. Whenever I watch Panic Room and see people freaking out about buttons or something it helps to reassure me that my own panics are just as ridiculous.

[Dying_Swan]

Hi Ray :)

Im sorry your appointment didn't go too well. Will you be having another one?

I've always found it incredibly hard to articulate my feelings to professionals. On occasions, I have written it all out and given it to them, because I know I won't be able to say any of it. I think they must have been a bit weary after reading my huge essays (!) but maybe you could try it?

As much as Doctors/therapists want to help, I can't help thinking that many of them are so limited because they just don't understand what it is like. However, if they are working in the field of anxiety, they really do need to be a bit more open-minded and understanding. Some are fantastic, some are dreadful. I remember asking a GP for some advice about going back to work after several months off. She just snapped 'Oh for goodness sake just go back' :weep: Consequently things got a hell of a lot worse before they got any better. She had loads of post-graduate training in Psychiatry too :lac:

I think it is no wonder you felt anxious after the appointment. If you felt it was a let-down, and no doubt it's something you had built yourself up for, it is totally understandable that you felt vulnerable afterwards. These people also have a habit of stripping away your defences, and whilst it's not always a bad thing, it can certainly feel like it.

Anyway, maybe you can discuss this with your OT? I'd also try writing out how you feel. Even if you don't want to show it to anyone, it might help clarify it in your own mind.

Good luck and I hope you feel a bit brighter soon :flowers: xxx

[Alabasterlyn]

I don't think they see our pain one little bit. As we look so normal, even when we are anxious, I'm not sure they always take on board how bad we feel. I have often been told that I don't look like an anxious person and it makes me wonder if people expect us to have two heads or something.

I really believe that unless you've suffered with this damn disorder you can't possibly have a clue what it feels like. I imagine when we tell a Dr we are anxious they compare it to how they experience anxiety, and of course we feel it at a far more intense level and for longer periods of time than someone who isn't suffereing with an anxiety disorder.

[sarah1984]

I agree Alabasterlyn, I'm sure that as much as the medics want to sympathise, it's very difficult to empathise if you haven't been through it yourself and that's something no amount of textbooks can teach you! As much as docs and therapists may care, they can't go overboard on the sympathy as they have to maintain a certain professional distance to get on with their job.

I think it's a really good idea to write down what you want to say beforehand. I've felt like you Ray-sometimes it's hard to put your feelings into words and I always felt desperate for them to see just how much I was suffering so they would take me seriously.

[trac67]

I have always said i don't think anyone can understand the feelings and the pain that we suffer unless they have suffered it themselves.

I put on too much of a good show with my mental health worker and she discharged me :lac:

When i went for an appointment with the practice nurse on monday i kept fiddling with my hair and she said ' will you leave your hair alone watching you keep doing that would drive me mad'.....................erm hello when I feel anxious I have to do something to take my mind off of it, and her saying that to me made me realise that she doesn't actually understand how bloody awful I do feel when I am out of the house :mad:

Thats why a place like this is so good because we do all understand how one another feels and can sympathise and actually give more support because we have a much better understanding of it all.

Here is a hug :hugs: for you honey keep your chin up

Love

Trac xxx

[Coni]

Hi all,

If its any consolation I too find it difficult to speak to 'professionals'...Gp, nurses, psychologists....and I am one of those health professionals (though I dont specialise in mental health), so I can kind of see both sides, in fact I feel lots of pressure to be more 'together' because of this. I now feel I cant go to my GP because he knows me in a professional capacity and I feel I've got to keep up that 'pretence' or it'll reflect badly on me. Having said that I find it incredibly difficult to be 'open' with anyone about how I'm feelingand totally agree Ray that its so difficult to put into words much of the time.

Speaking personally we're not all hardened to things, if anything I'm sometimes guilty of taking on others 'pain' a bit too much....but maybe thats because so much of the time I can truly empathise.

Hugs to all

Coni X

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Ray,

I believe sometimes they do and sometimes they do not. I can't speak for anywhere but here and there are times I feel like a number on an assembly line, just get the patients in and out, a revolving door if you will. There are other times I feel extremely cared for and understood, it honestly depends on the doctor I'm seeing at the time and I think their schedule. I do not believe that any textbook can explain the pain of what we go through so no they will never truly understand but if a doctor has empathy they can try.

Hugs to you,

Laura

[JGB2002]

I think that my couselor understands.

The last two sessions I had with him I just fell apart. I was kind of embarrassed the first time I did it because I don't like sharing myself with a complete stranger, but the next time it happened I could care less.

Peggy

[Karen]

Hi Ray

Sorry to read you are having such a hard time.

Unfortunately my experience of NHS mental health 'services' has not been great either. Personally I have found a great lack of understanding and empathy as a whole, not helped I expect but the fact that there are far too professionals for the vast numbers of people who need help. The NHS is overstretched and under resourced leading to long waiting lists and I've been passed round from one person to another in the past when none of them could work out that I wasn't speaking because I have social phobia.

Psychiatrists in particular usually perform assessments referring patients on to other forms of mental health support, or monitor those they can treat with medication and/or admit to hospital - so usually more severe forms of mental health illness.

Could you ask your occapational therapist if there are any other sources of support available to you?

Karen

[eastender]

I don't think I ever understood how my Mum felt when she had severe anxiety, I always tried to understand, but always felt oh pull yourself together! Now she is not here anymore and I have exactly the same condition she had! Now I understand completely!

[Phill2]

Fortunately my Dr HAS been through it so she understands perfectly. I'm very lucky to have found her.
Phill :shades:

[Alabasterlyn]

Fortunately my Dr HAS been through it so she understands perfectly. I'm very lucky to have found her.
Phill :shades:

Wow you are very lucky to have a Dr that has been through it and understands jullip :)

[Magpie]

I was lucky to have a very understanding Community Psychiatric Nurse, but I'm not seeing him anymore as there wasn't a lot he could do for me. I felt much more comfortable talking to him because it felt like he was doing his best to empathise with me, he made it feel like a chat with a friend instead of a job interview! Like many of you, I find my GP and Psychiatrist seem to come at it very much from a box-ticking point of view, I find it hard to talk to them because of this and it's difficult not to play down my symptoms because they make me feel awkward, when I do tell them the full details I feel like they think I'm making a fuss over nothing or whatever. It feels quite demeaning, but I'm sure they're not doing it on purpose, they're nice people but just a bit too 'professional' in their manner.

[Alabasterlyn]

I think the system that we have here in the UK makes it very hard for anxiety sufferers to really get any long term help as the resourses just aren't there in the mental health area. Most psychiatrisits seem more concerned with treating people with psychotic illnesses as obviously they could be a threat to themselves and others, but when it comes to an anxiety neurosis it's just like we are invisible.

[sarah1984]

I'm sorry to hear that Alabasterlyn, but I have to say my experience was completely the opposite. While I agree that mental health resources in the UK are seriously under-funded and very much over-stretched, all the docs/psychs I have seen took me very seriously, especially as I had had to leave uni and they helped get me back on track.

[Alabasterlyn]

I'm sorry to hear that Alabasterlyn, but I have to say my experience was completely the opposite. While I agree that mental health resources in the UK are seriously under-funded and very much over-stretched, all the docs/psychs I have seen took me very seriously, especially as I had had to leave uni and they helped get me back on track.

When you are told that you can no longer have any treatment because one person has labelled you as having 'trust issues' then I think that shows quite clearly how badly the system works in some health authorities in this country.