dancerja77
29-03-17, 01:11
My anxiety started about 3 weeks ago when I had a sudden fear of having a groinal response. I don't know why it popped in my head but it did. I'm a nanny and it's hard to have OCD and anxiety because I'm constantly afraid I'm going to hurt them. I love them so much and I know I'm a good person/nanny but my thoughts get the best of me. So anyways, after focusing on that response fear happening around the kids, of course it happened because I was so focused on it not happening. I got over that because I know it's nothing to do with arousal and more to do with fear. So now I have all these sexual intrusive thoughts around the kids because I'm so scared of thinking things like that. I know I'm not a monster, I don't want to think these things but I just do. I don't know what to do about it. I'm depressed and I don't enjoy going over anymore because I'm afraid of what I'm going to think intrusively. I know I'm not my thoughts but I don't understand what's wrong with me. I feel like a sicko and I'm not normal. It's causing me extreme anxiety. I want it all to stop. I feel like if anyone found out they would say I was disgusting which is causing me even more anxiety. Why can't I just be normal. It's the same voice that I hear when I'm dancing and it tells me "you're going to mess up" why does this happen? I hate myself.