View Full Version : Judgement day tomorrow!
I had to title my thread this because I really have treated tomorrows ENT visit for the lymphnode in my neck as such an extremely important event that will either confirm I'm healthy and well, and hopefully I can just live happily, or it will confirm the alternative.
I'm surprised to share that I'm not that scared, maybe I will be in the morning but it is what it is and I just need to remember its just another day and hope for the best.
I'm going with my mum and she is convinced it's nothing and has barely given the appointment a though (that attitude helps me a lot).
I've spent the day worrying about a tiny bruise I found on the back of my hand :wacko: my brother and mum laughed at me and called me mad which helped me get over it a tad.
I want this anxiety to end once and for all, hopefully the ENT put my mind at rest.
Just wanted any helpful words/ advice?
PASchoolSyndrome
29-03-17, 21:21
I bet your going to come back feeling just silly (:
Best of luck!
Are you going to believe the ENT?
That's important. If you get into a spiral of not believing doctors, its tough to get out. I put a lot of faith in doctors, because who would be better at knowing?
BrokenGirl
29-03-17, 22:14
Best of luck Mav - I'll be thinking of you tomorrow
Please let us know how you get on, but I've absolutely no doubt that everything will be fine and this time tomorrow you will be sooooooooo happy
The long wait is nearly over :hugs:
I bet your going to come back feeling just silly (:
Best of luck!
Ah I hope so :D
---------- Post added at 21:20 ---------- Previous post was at 21:17 ----------
Are you going to believe the ENT?
That's important. If you get into a spiral of not believing doctors, its tough to get out. I put a lot of faith in doctors, because who would be better at knowing?
I have to believe the ENT, I just do not have the energy to feed this anxiety anymore. If the ENT says it's all clear, then it's all clear and I'm letting it go completely.
I've already been in that spiral of not believing doctors but I think I'm over it.
I'm going to ask the ENT to explain to me why he believes it's all clear if he says it's all clear and then I'm going to tattoo those words into my brain.
I'm honestly over this, it's tiring, I just want to enjoy life, finish exams, look forward to the future!
---------- Post added at 21:21 ---------- Previous post was at 21:20 ----------
Best of luck Mav - I'll be thinking of you tomorrow
Please let us know how you get on, but I've absolutely no doubt that everything will be fine and this time tomorrow you will be sooooooooo happy
The long wait is nearly over :hugs:
Thankyou :blush: It is almost over, hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel and I can just get over this fear :noangel:
I've given myself that ultimatum before with an identical issue. A node in the neck.
It worked for me. That doctor knew more than I could in an entire life of googling. There is literally no profession more qualified to give you an opinion on the node. They really do know. They care about every patient, otherwise they wouldn't be a doctor.
I've given myself that ultimatum before with an identical issue. A node in the neck.
It worked for me. That doctor knew more than I could in an entire life of googling. There is literally no profession more qualified to give you an opinion on the node. They really do know. They care about every patient, otherwise they wouldn't be a doctor.
I think it gets to the point where you just build that bridge (finally) and walk over it.
Honestly, I'm 19, I should grab life with both hands rather than hiding in my room with my hand on my neck. :blush:
I've got about an hour until I have to set off and I'm afraid some last minute nerves have got me. :blush:
I have that exact same feeling that occurs before an exam!
I'm trying not to talk about how anxious I feel though because I find that talking about it only emphasises on the feeling for me.
I've got about an hour until I have to set off and I'm afraid some last minute nerves have got me. :blush:
I have that exact same feeling that occurs before an exam!
I'm trying not to talk about how anxious I feel though because I find that talking about it only emphasises on the feeling for me.
It's a natural nervousness, even healthy-minded people would feel nervous. Wishing you well and please report back :). Best of luck
BrokenGirl
30-03-17, 10:34
You're nearly there. The nerves are perfectly natural.
Just take it one step at a time today and it'll be over before you know it.
Good luck xx
Im back!
So, she felt my neck and said that she couldn't feel anything so I pointed it out to her. She thinks it could be a spinal bone or muscle or somthing, she didn't really mention the word lymphnode but she said it wasn't really palpable.
She said that sometimes there is something in the throat but you can only feel a tiny thing outside so she stuck a camera up my nose (very unpleasant) and everything was clear.
But she is referring me for an ultrasound (I guess as procedure), she said it's fine and I asked her if she thinks it's nothing and she said "No I don't think it is anything".
But she did give the elimination speech at the end of the appointment to say that "it's always important to rule everything out and also to see if we can catch anything early because it makes treatment effective".
But I'm confident she thinks it is nothing and just wants to finish the procedure of the referral.
---------- Post added at 13:08 ---------- Previous post was at 13:03 ----------
I'm a bit sad I have to still go through with the ultrasound, and have this whole process of anxiety for that appointment all over again. I sort of wanted it to end there, I even said if she doesn't think ultrasound is necessary then I'll leave it but she said she wanted to do one.
I hope it's fine, everything does seem to be pointing that way.
-No genuine symptoms
-GP said it was benign feeling
-Specialist thinks it's nothing and couldn't even feel it.
-Camera up nose and throat is clear
-Chest X-ray, all clear
-Bloods clear
I hope there is no nasty surprise when it comes to the ultrasound.
Here's the "Told ya so!" I owe you from 3 months ago ;)
Positive thoughts
Here's the "Told ya so!" I owe you from 3 months ago ;)
Positive thoughts
:D
Maybe just hold on to it for the ultrasound, just incase :blush:
Sounds like an all-clear to me with the ultrasound just being a precaution. The question is will you allow yourself to let this go. Realize that your anxiety will come back and mess with you before this is over. Try to get ahead of it. Anticipate how it might present itself and be ready. Most important, learn from this. Good luck!
---------- Post added at 08:14 ---------- Previous post was at 08:12 ----------
If it was not palpable and couldn't be seen from the esophagus then the chances of the ultrasound finding anything are next to nothing. Stop giving yourself a path back to anxiety. There will always be a way back if you look for it.
:D
Maybe just hold on to it for the ultrasound, just incase :blush:
Nah.... I have a suitcase full of them with more in the complaints shed ;) You're doing what every sufferer does in grabbing onto anything that will validate your irrational thoughts and fears. The ultrasound is not a "precaution" it's "validation".... I call it CYA medicine... A medical professionals way of saying "Told ya so!"
Positive thoughts
Sounds like an all-clear to me with the ultrasound just being a precaution. The question is will you allow yourself to let this go. Realize that your anxiety will come back and mess with you before this is over. Try to get ahead of it. Anticipate how it might present itself and be ready. Most important, learn from this. Good luck!
---------- Post added at 08:14 ---------- Previous post was at 08:12 ----------
If it was not palpable and couldn't be seen from the esophagus then the chances of the ultrasound finding anything are next to nothing. Stop giving yourself a path back to anxiety. There will always be a way back if you look for it.
Yeh I agree, there is no point continuing the anxiety, the only thing is I can feel it so I'm suprised she couldn't. But I guess I press harder and she pressed more gently (probably the correct amount of pressure you need).
I'm just telling myself that it will be over soon and I'll be fine :)
She does have the degree and the experience... I am sure she would have found it if it was suspicious
Nah.... I have a suitcase full of them with more in the complaints shed ;) You're doing what every sufferer does in grabbing onto anything that will validate your irrational thoughts and fears. The ultrasound is not a "precaution" it's "validation".... I call it CYA medicine... A medical professionals way of saying "Told ya so!"
Positive thoughts
I agree, I am doing that.
But I'll stick with "I'm healthy and fine until told otherwise" stream of though, although I know I'm fine because everything seems to point that way. :)
BrokenGirl
30-03-17, 14:21
That's great news Mav :yesyes:
And don't be worrying about the ultrasound. She's only doing her job. If she had any inclination that something was wrong then she would have said so.
They don't say nice things to spare our feelings - they tell the truth!!!
It's safe for you to relax now - the worst is over :)
PASchoolSyndrome
30-03-17, 15:24
Mav, if an ENT couldn't even feel it then I promise you, you are overreacting to something that isn't even there.
Congratulations! That is good news!
As BrokenGirl said. I've come to learn that they will straight up say if something was wrong/suspicious when asked. There are no 'white lies' where health professionals are concerned. The ultrasound sounds very procedural. Don't forget, she has to cover herself also.
I had/have an ALS worry. I have weakness in my right arm. It may be perceived I don't know. Anyway, I had an EMG of my right arm which practically rules out ALS. The neurologist performed a test of my thumb/index finger, my bicep and my deltoid (shoulder). I came away worried that he didn't test my tricep or my lower arm. I started to panic. Then I came to learn that this guy knew exactly what he was doing and doing the entire arm actually wasn't necessary.
What I'm trying to say is that these professionals know exactly what they're doing. He has dealt with a lot of ALS sufferers so he knows the patterns, everything involved. Same with your ENT. She knows exactly what to look for, what to feel for, how much pressure to apply, everything. She has seen countless people with actual lymph node issues. She has a clear understanding of what is and isn't an issue.
You should be thrilled - this is great news! Move on from this and enjoy your life. Forget about your ultrasound. This women physically checked you out and also put an endoscope up your nose. Just think, if she had lied to you (which she hasn't) and thought there was something wrong you'd be in for your ultrasound tomorrow.
Not the same thing, but I had a lump in my breast a few months ago checked out by the doctor. Doctor thought it was a scar tissue or injury of some sort. He sent me for tests. I had the mammogram and ultrasound and the radiologist said pretty much the same thing as my doctor. We followed up 3 months later with another ultrasound. Radiologist and my doctor both agreed, again, it was from an injury or bruising perhaps. I couldn't let the worry go so the radiologist said lets biopsy it for your peace of mine. A week later I went to have the biopsy. I was scared out of my mind but yet had a sense of peace at the same time. Anyway, biopsy came back as reactive scar tissue. Both my doctor and the radiologist were correct the entire time.
Great to hear Leslie.
It's very easy to think that doctors see us as a number and are just passing us off, "apply this cream and see you later" for everything but we need to have faith in them. I've fallen into that trap many times
Thankyou everyone for the helpful advice, I agree with you all. I do have a little bit of anxiety for the ultrasound but I'm not overwhelmed by it because everything seems to be looking up so far. I'm just getting back on with life for the mean time.
I went to a hematologist for a CML work-up.
He told me he didn't think I had it because my Basophils weren't raised along with my Neutrophils, but sent me for testing just to be safe. He said I was young and it was best to just make sure, so I could live a long and healthy life.
He also tested me for the various MPNs. He would always be honest with me. Told me that I could have one. It was highly unlikely, but we had to test or he wouldn't be doing his job.
In the end I had nothing wrong with me. My WBC just naturally runs high.
They just always want to be 100% sure. Definitely a protocol type thing. I had ultrasounds during the ordeal. I enjoyed it. The tech was pretty attractive. Might be why.
I just wanted to update, I'm doing okay for the mean time and still haven't recieved the ultrasound letter.
Thankyou for the advice, I do have one thing that I just can't get over for the mean time which is the possibility of the ultrasound detecting something my doctors wern't expecting.
I know my brain is creating monsters during the wait for the appointment, but I don't know how to deal with this part of the anxiety because it truly is a waiting game. :/
:(
Ugh I prodded again, after a good few weeks. I was laying in bed and twisted my head to the side and it honestly felt huge!
I'm shocked that the ENT said she couldn't feel anything, it is there, it's flattened out but it is there. A large lumpy area that covers just under 2cm's.
This is causing me a some stress. :(
GlassPinata
04-04-17, 03:35
I had to title my thread this because I really have treated tomorrows ENT visit for the lymphnode in my neck as such an extremely important event that will either confirm I'm healthy and well, and hopefully I can just live happily, or it will confirm the alternative. ....
I want this anxiety to end once and for all, hopefully the ENT put my mind at rest.
Just wanted any helpful words/ advice?
I've felt this way too, a number of times ("I'm finally going to see the specialist! By this time tomorrow, it'll be all over. I'll know for sure one way or the other. Etc.")
Usually, it doesn't turn out that way, and I'd merely caution you against getting your hopes up too high.
In my case, one of two things usually happens.
1. The specialist says I'm fine, and I don't believe it, and nothing changes; the anxiety continues.
Or, 2. The specialist really doesn't put the matter to rest one way or the other. They say something like, "Well, it doesn't look serious, but come back if it's still there in two months." Or they send me for more testing, which means more weeks of waiting and anxiety.
I sincerely hope, for your sake, that your visit tomorrow puts the matter definitively to rest, once and for all.
I would simply caution you to, first of all, believe the specialist if he or she says you are fine. And secondly, if further testing is needed, do not assume this means you are not fine. You are. It's just that there are many conditions which cannot be diagnosed, confirmed, or ruled out without a barrage of testing, all of which can take time.
All i can say is, I've never had any of the diseases I've thought I had.
But I've certainly put myself through a lot of specialist visits and invasive testing, in an effort to alleviate my anxiety.
I truly hope this works out for you.
I believe you are physically healthy.
I hope whatever the doctor tells you is able to alleviate your mental distress.
Best wishes.
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