am I doing the right thing here?

[Shezney]

I've been in an unhappy relationship for 5 years now and we have 2 kids together plus my 2 from a previous relationship. I have panic disorder, ocd, a bit of agoraphobia and monophobia, my safety person being my partner. The problem is I don't want to be with him anymore but I don't know if I could handle not having him there when I have a bad day etc, im looking for somewhere else to live but at the end of the day, it's my anxiety of being alone that's keeping me here. I just don't know what to do

[Fishmanpa]

Despite fears and uncertainty, ultimately you must do what your heart tells you. From what I read, your heart is telling you to leave but your anxiety is keeping you there out of fear. In many ways, anxiety is like a codependent relationship. You know it's not good for you but you stay knowing it and in some ways may even feel it's all you deserve.

Making a major life change is difficult even with someone without anxiety but in the end, taking those steps will make you stronger. Perhaps you have friends or family that can help be your support system and you learn to make yourself your own support system.

So many here fear the "what ifs". I can tell you from experience, the worst "what ifs" have nothing to do with the fear of something happening (like illnesses etc.). The worst "what ifs" and the things we end up regretting most in life are the chances we never took because of the fear of "what if?"

Positive thoughts

[Shezney]

Thanks for the reply, that makes alot of sense

[GlassPinata]

I've been in an unhappy relationship for 5 years now and we have 2 kids together plus my 2 from a previous relationship. I have panic disorder, ocd, a bit of agoraphobia and monophobia, my safety person being my partner. The problem is I don't want to be with him anymore but I don't know if I could handle not having him there when I have a bad day etc, im looking for somewhere else to live but at the end of the day, it's my anxiety of being alone that's keeping me here. I just don't know what to do

If you aren't happy, go. Make a plan, and go.
I spent over 20 years in the exact state you are describing.
Finally, my husband left me... when our littlest child was only two.
It was my worst nightmare come true, but it turned out to be for the best.
I am happier now.
If you do not feel you are able to live life to your fullest potential in your present situation, then I would recommend you change it.

Best wishes.

[Shezney]

Glasspinata, its just I hate not having someone with me when I panic, it makes it so much worse, and that's what I'm afraid of

[GlassPinata]

Glasspinata, its just I hate not having someone with me when I panic, it makes it so much worse, and that's what I'm afraid of

Me too, but I found that I panicked less- and handled it better- once my so-called "support person" removed himself from the picture.
I can't guarantee this will be the case for you, but it might be.

[snowghost57]

I have had a few bad relationships. My marriage didn't work out. I decided to leave my husband when my daughter was 2. Actually I had him removed from the home. I also had a 13 year old daughter at the time. I had two choices stay and things would get worse or leave and provide my girls with a safe and happy home. Sure I was scared but it was the best thing I did. As glass said make a plan and make a happier life for yourself.

[Bigboyuk]

I am wondering couldn't you stay just friends with him if the relationship isn't working at least you would still have some support from him :) Cheers

[Shezney]

Bigboyuk there is too much stuff that's happened to be friends with him. But I'm making a plan, im deffo leaving

[Bigboyuk]

Bigboyuk there is too much stuff that's happened to be friends with him. But I'm making a plan, im deffo leaving Yes totally understand what you are saying! Cheers

[up a ladder]

Hi. I stayed in a relationship for far longer than I should have for this very reason. I regret it. I eventually left and then met the current Mrs Up a Ladder. This was a good thing.
Keep well.