2 months on

[Barnabas75]

So its been 2 months since my younger brother took his own life, The pain of the loss is sometiimes so overwhelming. I dont know how to really deal with it and I think the pain will be there for the rest of my life. I cant stop thinking if only I had done this or done that or said something different he would still be here. The world has changed forever. There is someone missing who should still be here. I dont see the world in the same light anymore. I feel like a ghost walking around while reality is taking place and I am some how no longer part of it. My heart goes out to others who have experienced the same thing. I feel your pain. I am thinking of those who want to let go because the pain is unbearable and nothing looks like it will get better or ever will. I miss you so much Anthony. Like you have no idea. Wish you were here. Its not the same without you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Mxo-FJ8W0Y

[bottleblond]

Greg

That is one of the saddest things I have read in a long time.

I wish I could say something to ease your pain but unfortunately I think only time and a lot of talking will be able to do that.

Have you accepted any grief counselling at all?. You may not be feel ready for that at the moment but try to keep it as an option. The same thing happened to a family I know and it's so utterly devastating. So many questions yet no answers, all the if's, but's and maybe's is only torturing yourself and I can imagine, a lot of anger too!.

Please try to speak to someone who can help you with the pain you are dealing with.

So very sorry for your loss.

Lisa
:hugs:

[Barnabas75]

Thanks for the reply Lisa. I am talking to someone. So I am getting some help. But like tomorrow is my birthday and we would always do something on it together and this year he wont be here, so its making tonight really hard. I dont even want to think about tomorrow yet. This sort of thing is happening far to often. More needs to be done.

[bottleblond]

Suicide in young men is definitely more of an issue these days for some reason. There is so much media coverage for it too which I suppose can only be a good thing but I am so sorry it didn't help your brother.

I know tomorrow is going to be so sad for you but how about doing something for both you and your brother?. I'm no expert in this or anything else for that matter but listening to my friends story, I know it can maybe help you at least get through the day.

[Barnabas75]

Just listening to some of the music we grew up listening to. Bringing back memories. It helps remembering. He is gone but he wont be forgotten.:weep:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B32yjbCSVpU

[lior]

I'm so sorry for your loss. 2 months is not very long ago - this is still new to you.

I have been suicidal in the past. There is no one action that anyone could have done to help me. People's attitudes mattered, and their overall behaviour, but not singular actions.

You did the best you could. You really did. No regrets.

How you feel now is grief, and it's normal and healthy for you to feel this way :)

[Barnabas75]

Thanks Lior. Sorry to hear you have the same battle. I know what it feels like also. You are right, I am grieving. And its still fresh and and painfull.

[bottleblond]

Hi Greg

I hope things went ok for you today and you managed to get some enjoyment out o your birthday. :hugs:

Lisa
x

[Barnabas75]

Thanks Lisa, I managed ti get through the day, Took my Mom out for lunch. It was not the same, but we got through it.

[bottleblond]

Aww bless!. One day at a time.

Well done you. :hugs:

[Barnabas75]

I never thought grief could kill you, but it can. Many a man and woman have died of broken hearts.