Health anxiety meltdown :(

[Yoga*Lover]

Hi everyone

I'm having a really hard time with health anxiety right now. The past week has been hell. I have no idea what's caused this relapse but I really wish I could get through it and get back to 'normal'. It all started last week when I got cellulitis on the bridge of my nose. I was on oral antibiotics for this but my eye became a little swollen so went back to GP. He wasn't concerned but said if the swelling didn't stop then I would have to be admitted for IV antibiotics.
That night I started panicking about my eye and stupidly googled complications of cellulitis and became paranoid about cavernous sinus thrombosis. I then started to feel like I was getting pain in my eye and developed palpitations and felt like my heart was going to burst. Ended up in a&e with tachycardia and chest pain. Had two ecgs which were normal and all my bloods were fine. They gave me antibiotics and fluids just incase and then I was sent home.
I then became obsessed with the palpitations and was scared I was having a heart attack. Ended up back in a&e the following night - further ecgs were normal but they kept me in because of how anxious I was. Had a chest X-ray and a VQ scan which were all clear and was discharged the next day.
Since this I have been a nervous wreck. I became obsessed with my breathing and feeling like I couldn't get a deep enough breath. I've gone from worrying about heart failure to bowel cancer to brain aneurysm. My GP ensures me it is anxiety and I've been started on sertraline but I can't shake this fear. I'm so frightened all the time and I can barely eat or sleep. I'm so scared something will happen to me in the night. My latest worry is an aneurysm or brain tumour as I keep experiencing mild shooting pains in the right side of my head, above my ear and in my cheek around my eye. Sometimes I feel these pains when I'm lying down. I also keep waking up with a strange sensation in my head, as if I'm on the verge of being dizzy but not and sometimes a pulsing sensation. I have been clenching my jaw most of the day so I'm aware this could be causing the pain but my mind keeps wondering. My ears are also ringing.
I've never had anxiety attacks this bad. I feel desparate and doomed. Dr has signed me off work for 2 weeks because I'm a nurse and there's no way I could switch off my mind and look after others right now. I keep crying and I'm convinced something is wrong. I'm 26 years old - just want to be enjoying myself and can't. Sorry for the long post. Health anxiety is so lonely 😳 Xx

[Chany3284]

Hello ur alone i just want u to know that. I am also sitting here in tears as we speak thinking i have the c word its now in my liver. I only think this cause a shadow was seen on my liver during the ultrasound. So i had mri on wed. And the waiting for the results is eating me up inside. But i keep telling my self that all blood work was good and i feel great other then the HA. But as u know with HA we cant relax and we cant get thoses thoughts out of our heads. Its the worst feeling in the world. But i need to dry my eyes and get up i have 3 kids and they cant see me this way. Just want u to know ur not alone ❤❤

---------- Post added at 16:01 ---------- Previous post was at 16:00 ----------

I ment to say ur not alone sorry i m on my phone lol

[Yoga*Lover]

Hi! Thank you :).
Waiting for results is agonising. I'm sure everything will come back clear. It's so horrible when you've convinced yourself you have an illness. It's like nothing anyone says can convince you otherwise. If only there was an instant cure. Xxx

[Chany3284]

Yes it suxs so much. But as long as i keep telling my bloodwork was clean i tend to relax a bit. I was doing so good thé last 2 days then bam this when i woke i was shakey and very on edge i mean i know thats from the stress. But my brain makes me think other things lol. I hope u start to feel better. After i get resluts from doc i will be talking to him about some therapy or some meds. Because once i get the all clear from this my mind will go to something else. Mine all started 7 yrs ago my little guy was born with downsyndrome and was very ill he had to have ope heart surgery. Every since then my anxiety has turned from just a little bit to full blown HA. Its not fun. Are u on any meds or therapy?

[New17]

I'm the same also, Iv been having pains down the right side of my body for theee months now and have found enlarged lymph nodes in my knee, neck and knee. I'm so breathless and have a lot of chest pressure last two days so I'm scared to get up. All I can think is I have a tumour some where and I'm going to die. Iv sat here for three days now crying, in pain and alone. I feel so guilty, I have a little girl with autism who needs me but I just can't face anything. My doctors aren't great, but Iv had 2 bloods tests come back clear and my groin scanned with was clear. But these pains just won't go away, it's been so long now I'm just convinced it has to be serious!
It's tourture, everyone keeps telling me it all down to anxiety but I just can't see it!

[Fishmanpa]

Serious Questions: Why can't body aches and pains just be body aches and pains? Why must they always be associated with some serious illness or condition?

Most here are younger than I am (I'm 58). Most here who know me also know that I've been through some of the serious illnesses you fear. Those things alone make me feel like I'm physically 20 years older sometimes.

Example: A little over a month ago, I woke up with excruciating pain in my wrist. At first I thought carpel tunnel but it didn't fit the symptoms. Then I thought tendinitis. I just took OTC pain relievers and wore a wrist brace. No panic, no "OMG it's wrist cancer" or some silly BS like that. When I went to the doctor for my check up, I asked him to check it out. Turns out I sprained it! How? I have no idea. It could have been as simple as pushing myself up from the bed. Much like you can pull your back just bending over.

Example: Lately, my knees have been hurting. It's not cancer or anything of the like. It's age and most likely arthritis. I have more aches and pains due to the side effects of my cancer treatment than I did from the cancer itself! ~lol~

Example: I have heart disease. In fact, I had to have a CT done of my chest recently as a standard followup from my cancer. It was normal concerning the cancer. There were a couple of things, that if I were a sufferer, would have sent me into a meltdown like 4mm nodule (stable since 2012) and calcification consistent with heart disease as well as moderate COPD from past smoking BUT... I'm fine.

Point being, everyone gets aches and pains. Everyone gets an itch or burn or pain somewhere or can feel a "normal" node on their body etc. Your body is a living breathing sack of cells that makes a lot of noise and you're bound to pick up on it if you focus on it.

Why does it always have to be more than just that and impending doom? When you recognize that the most powerful organ we possess, our brain, is capable of amplifying and even creating symptoms, that's the first step in ridding yourself of the real issue. It's not the fact that you have a pain or symptom, it's the way you react to it that is the real problem.

Positive thoughts

[New17]

Hi fishmanpa,

Thank you for reply again, I always feel a small comfort in your posts.
Iv never suffered with health anxiety before so I think this is why I am struggling to think that is what it could be. The pains I'm experiencing have been on going for 3 months ever since I found the "nodes"
I struggle to see it's general aches as the length of time they have been around for, this is why it leads me to think it's something sinister, also the fact that I'm only experiencing them mostly in parts of the right side of my body.
Nothing seems to add up or make sense. I love my little girl more than life itself im ruining her life being like this, but the niggling in my head make me think all day but what if you did have something and it's too late her life would be ruined, I'm in a lose, lose situation really.

[Chany3284]

Hello are u feeling any better? I could not stop thinking of you today....i feel better then i did this morning my self. I just keep saaying blood work was clear nothing thier to indacate anything bad lol

[Yoga*Lover]

Hi :). I'm feeling a litter better but my mind is still going from one illness to another. I ended up having a complete break from the internet just to stop myself from googling.
I'm the same - just keep saying to myself that all my tests came back normal and that they would have found something in at least one of my ecgs.
How are you doing today? Xxx