Breakup due to anxiet and spirits and mediums

[ben85]

Hi this is my first time posting on this site.

About a year ago, my fiance very suddenly left me. We had been together for 11 years and getting married in 6 months. We had been together since we were 18 and 19. Everything was perfect for 10 years.....lots of fun, holidays etc etc. Then we got engaged and were working towards buying a house. Then for 3 solid months she was bullied at work. She was really unhappy. Would frequently come home in tears. Eventually it stopped and the person responsible left. Then soon after we had a few financial problems which also affected her. They were resolved and we started to get things back on track again. Or so I thought.
For the the next 9 months, we were ok, then 1 day she called of the wedding and said we were over. The next night, she had a really bazaar episode where she was talking about angels and spirits and then she said she could see her guardian angel in the wall. Obviously there was nothing there but she was convinced. Then it all came out.....the last 9 months she had been seeing mediums alot....Reading online about spirits etc and she said all the stress was ment to happen to lead her to enlightenment. It was all scary stuff and was clear that something wasn't right. Anyway, she moved back in with her parents. Cut off all her friends and most family. She started going to phsychic groups alot and that was her life. It lasted about 10 weeks. Then she came over one day and she seemed like her old self. She was upset, saying that she had no idea what happened and she wanted to stop it all and could I take her back

We talked and agreed that she should get help and we should not get married at the moment and take things slow. So we did. The Dr provided her with seretoline called lustral.
She was told she had minor anxiety. They were not bothered about the hallucinations. Said it was common with any form of mental illness.
Anyway, I though we were getting somewhere, we booked a long weekend to London which she was really looking forward to. Then the night b4 we were due to go she said she couldn't go as she was too anxious . I understood and we postponed it.
That night she couldn't sleep...she was really panicky. She started telling me to run away because she wanted me to be safe. Screaming at the wall that she was going to be possesed. She said the evil demon had made her infertile and all sorts of things. I just held her for hours until she settled down. That was last november . Since then we have tried and tried to get help. Upped the dose of meds and started cbt. Problem is she did 1 session and stopped because it wasn't helping. She started to estrange herself from me again around Christmas and she left me again in January. Moved back to her parents. We were still talking abit and she did start cbt again.....! Then I got a text saying I love u. It turned out she had taken an overdose and was in hospital .
Since then she was told her cbt had to end because of the overdose and is waiting for another assessment. She is on a waiting list which could take up to a year her gp said.
I still love her with all my heart and i'v tried everything to help. She says she loved me too but can take be with me. I don't know what to do anymore.

Sorry it's so long and thanks for reading.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I would suggest her anxiety is much higher than she was diagnosed.

Given her hallucinations and suicide attempt, she should be referred to the CMHT by the GP to conduct a proper assessment of her mental health. She may need some more appropriate meds than a GP is allowed to prescribe.

That 12 month waiting list will likely be the CMHT. But that's misleading as they told me that would be the case for my anxiety to receive treatment but I would be initially assessed quite quickly. Given her symptoms, it could point to a different mental health condition that is treated much quicker, anxiety isn't really what the CMHT are there for these days but they do more quickly treat other conditions since many need much quicker medication treatment.

Push the GP. It's beyond ridiculous that someone who has attempted to take their life should wait that long. At a minimum they should be seeking a med to help. Antidepressants can initially make anxiety worse, they can also worsen certain disorders like bipolar too.

[Catherine S]

Hi, that's such a sad story but well done for standing by your girl as you have. I'm not a medical professional but has she ever been assessed for schizophrenia? Alot of what you describe seems to fit what I've read or heard about this condition. If it is something like this then I would've thought anti-psychotic medication is better for her than anti-anxiety medication. Hopefully her next assessment will give you both some answers.

ISB x x

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi, that's such a sad story but well done for standing by your girl as you have. I'm not a medical professional but has she ever been assessed for schizophrenia? Alot of what you describe seems to fit what I've read or heard about this condition. If it is something like this then I would've thought anti-psychotic medication is better for her than anti-anxiety medication. Hopefully her next assessment will give you both some answers.

ISB x x

Whilst I'm not sure about that, I am wondering if this is a misdiagnosed disorder like that. In such a case, a GP upon suspecting would immediately refer to the CMHT anyway. No way would they wait 12 months for such a condition, they are meant to be treating them and GP's aren't supposed to be medicating them as it's too complex and the meds beyond their prescribing. Maybe she's been lumped into the anxiety diagnosis hence the CMHT seeing it as a lesser priority?

[Catherine S]

It was just a thought Terry, not a diagnosis.

ISB

[MyNameIsTerry]

It was just a thought Terry, not a diagnosis.

ISB

I know, I was agreeing with about considering this to be something more complex. I was saying I don't know about Schizophrenia in this instance, not you, but I realise why it came to mind much like why I probably wondered about something like bipolar.

[ben85]

I know, I was agreeing with about considering this to be something more complex. I was saying I don't know about Schizophrenia in this instance, not you, but I realise why it came to mind much like why I probably wondered about something like bipolar.

After the hallucination episode I phoned nhs direct and got through to a mental health crises team.....over the phone they said it sounded like psychosis but referred her to gp to be told anxiety. She definately has got bad anxiety as she just worries about everything. She is not always honest either. She Is too embarrassed to talk About the spiritual stuff.

[Fishmanpa]

Just a question. Did she exhibit any physical symptoms prior to all of this?

Positive thoughts

[ben85]

Yes...tingling in top of head. Stomach and back pain and head achs. But she believed they were spiritual signs that she had special abilities. As this is what mediums told her.

[MyNameIsTerry]

After the hallucination episode I phoned nhs direct and got through to a mental health crises team.....over the phone they said it sounded like psychosis but referred her to gp to be told anxiety. She definately has got bad anxiety as she just worries about everything. She is not always honest either. She Is too embarrassed to talk About the spiritual stuff.

I would be putting my faith more in a trained mental health nurse in a crisis team. However, the GP did have more immediate contact.

I would suggest a second opinion. It's sounds more like an episode of something, psychosis, delusion, etc but to reach suicidal tendencies is a serious worry.

[Fishmanpa]

Yes...tingling in top of head. Stomach and back pain and head achs. But she believed they were spiritual signs that she had special abilities. As this is what mediums told her.

Are they persisting and is she exhibiting continued headaches, moments of confusion and memory issues?

Positive thoughts

[ben85]

Are they persisting and is she exhibiting continued headaches, moments of confusion and memory issues?

Positive thoughts

It's hard to tel as she is living with her parents. She finds it very difficult to concentrate on anything and can't hold a conversation for very long without her mind wandering. She gets alot of random words pop in her head and some intrusive thoughts also.

---------- Post added at 16:30 ---------- Previous post was at 16:22 ----------


I would be putting my faith more in a trained mental health nurse in a crisis team. However, the GP did have more immediate contact.

I would suggest a second opinion. It's sounds more like an episode of something, psychosis, delusion, etc but to reach suicidal tendencies is a serious worry.



After she tried to kill herself we saw the mental health team in the hospital....only to be told that there is no way she needed extra treatment and they arranged a crises team to visit us the next day. They gave us a leaflet and said carry on with cbt. So she went to her cbt appointment and was told that they couldn't see her as she had attempted suicide. That was 5 weeks ago. Phoned up the crises team last week and was told that for some reason they had closed her case. Now they say someone will be in contact.

[Fishmanpa]

Just a thought, but perhaps she should see a medical doctor and get tested for Lyme, Zika, HSV as well as other known causes of brain inflammation. An MRI done of her head would show that. Brain inflammation can cause that type of erratic and confused behavior. The fact that she was not this way all the previous years and it seems to have come on rather suddenly raises some red flags from a physical standpoint.

Positive thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

That sounds messy, completely the opposite of what you would expect in the circumstances! It's sad that it does happen though, other members on here have been through bureaucratic cobble ups at such times.

The CBT stopping is understandable as an escalation like this should be a trigger to something more intensive than they can provide until she can rejoin it.

I guess the question is whether this is a brief period of something like psychosis that has passed?

Part of the problem is that the hospital will only be interested in immediate help. That means stabilising her physically until she can be discharged and getting an on call psychiatrist to assess whether she needs sectioning whether voluntary or mandatory. If she doesn't need sectioning, it's going to fall back to the GP to get her help, with the support of the crisis team for a short while direct with the patient.

The GP can then refer to the CMHT who provide outpatient care. If there is a possibility of something more complex, I'm sure she will access them much quicker as otherwise a GP couldn't even attempt treatment of complex cases.

I'm not saying it's not a high period of anxiety, with some paranoia involved which happens with intense anxiety (I've had paranoia at such times) but given the extreme theme and escalation it makes sense to consider whether anxiety is manifesting due to another disorder that requires more care and different meds.

The mediums have obviously taken a vulnerable person and influenced her mental state. If you feel she is vulnerable in terms of suggestibility, mention that too as it could be part of a disorder. If she doesn't appear able to make rational decisions and completely disputes that her obsessions are anything but real, mention that too.

I hope you gets better treatment soon. You all must be very worried about her.

[ben85]

That sounds messy, completely the opposite of what you would expect in the circumstances! It's sad that it does happen though, other members on here have been through bureaucratic cobble ups at such times.

The CBT stopping is understandable as an escalation like this should be a trigger to something more intensive than they can provide until she can rejoin it.

I guess the question is whether this is a brief period of something like psychosis that has passed?

Part of the problem is that the hospital will only be interested in immediate help. That means stabilising her physically until she can be discharged and getting an on call psychiatrist to assess whether she needs sectioning whether voluntary or mandatory. If she doesn't need sectioning, it's going to fall back to the GP to get her help, with the support of the crisis team for a short while direct with the patient.

The GP can then refer to the CMHT who provide outpatient care. If there is a possibility of something more complex, I'm sure she will access them much quicker as otherwise a GP couldn't even attempt treatment of complex cases.

I'm not saying it's not a high period of anxiety, with some paranoia involved which happens with intense anxiety (I've had paranoia at such times) but given the extreme theme and escalation it makes sense to consider whether anxiety is manifesting due to another disorder that requires more care and different meds.

The mediums have obviously taken a vulnerable person and influenced her mental state. If you feel she is vulnerable in terms of suggestibility, mention that too as it could be part of a disorder. If she doesn't appear able to make rational decisions and completely disputes that her obsessions are anything but real, mention that too.

I hope you gets better treatment soon. You all must be very worried about her.


Thanks. what you say makes a lot of sense.

Its been very hard. Her parents didn't think Anxiety was a real thing and it took her overdose for them to take it seriously. which is sad.

I spoke to her today and she is just so worried that something bad is going to happen in the future but doesn't know what.
We love each other but it's hard as we are apart and she is very different towards me due to her condition. I try not to take it personally as she is different with most people.

A quick question though? Do you think anxiety can be cured? Or at least life changing anxiety. I realise we all have anxiety and we need it.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yes, anxiety disorders can be recovered from completely. Plenty of people have. For some it's more management, it's all very complex to ever say whether someone will be there is always the possibility.

The same things get said about depression and my dad has been completely recovered for over 40 years from his.