sadtimes
08-04-17, 15:36
So I had an obsession that really made me feel like I'd lost my mind for a good year or so. A complete and utterly soul destroying obsession that really put me in a real depression for a very long time.
I no longer obsess about it, I mean it's always in the back of my mind and worries me from time to time but it doesn't give me nearly the same level of anxiety as it used to, I don't think about 24/7 and I've pretty much accepted that I had the obsession and the memory of it is always going to be there. It's the memory of it that upsets me, knowing that I'll never really feel the same again.
My SO knows about the obsession and he's a pretty spiritual person so he was going on about how it's shaped my life and changed me for the better.
I got very angry and completely disagreed because how has this changed me for the better? I was such a happy person before it, thoughts such as those had never crossed my mind (it was a pretty sick obsession, i wish i could type what it was so this would make a little more sense but I can't even properly say in my own head let alone on the internet) and I was happy, and I felt like a normal person
How am i supposed to live the rest of my life like this? Yeah the obsession is pretty much gone but the memory behind it and the knowledge that i could think those things will be forever there throughout my whole life, and I'll always avoid certain people because of it.
I no longer obsess about it, I mean it's always in the back of my mind and worries me from time to time but it doesn't give me nearly the same level of anxiety as it used to, I don't think about 24/7 and I've pretty much accepted that I had the obsession and the memory of it is always going to be there. It's the memory of it that upsets me, knowing that I'll never really feel the same again.
My SO knows about the obsession and he's a pretty spiritual person so he was going on about how it's shaped my life and changed me for the better.
I got very angry and completely disagreed because how has this changed me for the better? I was such a happy person before it, thoughts such as those had never crossed my mind (it was a pretty sick obsession, i wish i could type what it was so this would make a little more sense but I can't even properly say in my own head let alone on the internet) and I was happy, and I felt like a normal person
How am i supposed to live the rest of my life like this? Yeah the obsession is pretty much gone but the memory behind it and the knowledge that i could think those things will be forever there throughout my whole life, and I'll always avoid certain people because of it.