Please help me!

[Yoga*Lover]

Hi guys! Apologies in advance for the long post.

I can't cope with this anymore. I've had a complete meltdown. I am in a constant state of anxiety all day long every day and I don't know how much more of this I can take. I've had a little bit of stress recently, prior to my anxiety relapse but I didn't think it was enough to cause this. Every twinge or physical symptom I have I am convinced is a life threatening illness. 2 weeks ago I had chest X-rays, 4ecgs and a VQ scan because of air hunger and tachycardia/palpitations. All were clear. Why can't I accept this? What's wrong with me??? I keep going over everything in my head. I've had about 15 different illnesses (in my mind) over the last two weeks. I keep obsessing over cancer in particular. Lymphoma is a big one for me as I've had swollen nodes in my neck for upwards of 8 years (one since I was 4 and I'm now 26). I'm so scared all of the time. I was obsessing over a dvt this morning until I had a sharp stabbing pain in my left side. Now its ovarian cancer.
I can't do this anymore. I can't stop my thoughts and I can't stop crying. I want to enjoy my life but I'm constantly feeling doomed and scared to plan anything incase I get a diagnosis of a terminal illness.
I am so convinced my symptoms aren't anxiety. I don't get them just during panic attacks but then again I am always worrying lately. When I move I'm constantly thinking 'can I breathe?' I keep checking my heart rate and temperature because I'm terrified of low grade fevers.
I've had anxiety for years but it was manageable. I was doing so well - I'm a nurse and was enjoying my job before all this happened. Now I can't even leave the house for very long.
I'm so worried that my thoughts aren't anxiety and that I'm actually psychic or something 😑. Despite any medical knowledge that I have I can't rationalise!! It's like all that knowledge that stemmed from interest has turned into panic and fear.
Sorry to moan and I'm aware I sound very irrational but my mind is convinced something is wrong.

Xxx

[JesseBarrett96]

I get the psychic feeling too when I go through intense periods of anxiety I get all sorts of trippy thoughts, especially the psychic one you're describing.

[Yoga*Lover]

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who gets this. I find it makes me panic more because I then start to worry my thoughts are going to happen! Anxiety is awful xx

[tiredofthis14]

made me sad reading your post its exactly how i am i must of had hundred different illnesses ...or thought i had its awful i hate knowing other people go threw this too i really hope it improves for you soon xx

[Yoga*Lover]

Thanks for your reply :). It's awful! No amount of reassurance helps. It's just one thing after another xx

[Rjvdh92]

You WILL believe everything is okay in the end. As permanent as this may feel it is only temporary. Your brain just currently doesn't want to accept certain things for what they are, but you realise this and show concern, you're aware so you're not crazy. Just keep saying, this too shall pass. I have really bad healthy anxiety, I can relate to your problems very well. I wish you all the best

[tiredofthis14]

im the same hun ppl can tell me until their blue in the face it doesnt help does it which then leaves you more frustrated and sad :( great thing about this forum your never alone xxx

[Bigboyuk]

The thing is any MH condition can be managed I am firm believer on this and like Rjvd92 says it will pass and also you need wellness tools to help you Iam in a really good group and it actually covers all conditions too which is a godsend it's helping me and it can help you too :) Cheers

[Yoga*Lover]

Thanks everyone :)! I wish I could just stop obsessing over every little thing. I've got an appointment with a counsellor this week so hopefully I can start to get back to normal xx