Feeling a bit calmer now

[unsure_about_this]

As you know I been worrying have I got testicle cancer or not, just to reassurance myself my GP is referring me to an ultrasound, she had a good check and ask me a few symptoms to see whether I had them or not, she could not feel any hard lumps or hardness.

I was clear last year just some cysts (this what set me fear of as one of the GP sent me to see a specialist and he felt a lump but did not know what it was this) the specialist could not feel the lump, the tech guy could not feel the lump and had 3 further exams by GPs last year who said nothing but this cysts)

---------- Post added at 20:31 ---------- Previous post was at 19:29 ----------

The other worries is my bottom, why it feels itchy sometimes, i am thinking cancer, like bowel, blood. anal etc. but more likely it piles (but there is no blood) how i wipe, the toilet paper, how i wash, and sweets as I had a smarties one day, also thinking diabetes but this would have been picked up possibly in my urine test I did in February. Could be stress.
I cant keep running down to the GP every two minutes, but if I concened I will talk to my GP again.

[Fishmanpa]

Your post sure doesn't come across as you feeling calmer :lac:

Positive thoughts

[walkerbull]

The thing I have learned with cancer fears is that I'd be feeling far worse symptoms than I am feeling now. Always remember that, regardless of what rubbish Google says. That ****ing search engine should be deemed a public health risk.

[axolotl]

Remember everyone, "Google" doesn't tell you anything, it's a neutral agent that spits out your fears back at you based on what you type into it.

Unsure - glad you're starting to lose the TC fear. Remember, spotting TC is 101 stuff for doctors, and it sounds like plenty have had a feel around! An ultrasound should 100% put your mind at ease - when you get the all-clear, please see that as a full stop to the whole thing and move on.

And also see it as an insight into your anxiety that as soon as you've got over one fear, another completely different idea for worry pops in your head. When that one's over, another one will pop in. The actual "symptom", and the actual fear, is totally arbitrary, it's how you react to the little random burbles and blurps of your body that is the real problem.

[unsure_about_this]

Thank you for your replies, my problem is which I try not to be disrespectful about people who are suffering/had with the big c. I have a big cancer fear, to many every symptom, spot, mark is a cancer.

[walkerbull]

Thank you for your replies, my problem is which I try not to be disrespectful about people who are suffering/had with the big c. I have a big cancer fear, to many every symptom, spot, mark is a cancer.

Yes, this is a very big dilemma I have. I feel I am being extremely insensitive and disrespectful also.

[GlassPinata]

Yes, this is a very big dilemma I have. I feel I am being extremely insensitive and disrespectful also.


I often feel this way too.
As a matter of fact, I notice that people who actual do have cancer seem to be holding themselves together better than I am, when I only think I have cancer... which makes me very ashamed of myself. :weep:

[axolotl]

I don't think anyone should beat themselves up about the nature of their anxious thoughts. Yes, use the knowledge people are dealing with cancer right now to put things in perspective, but don't start feeling guilty about where your anxiety is taking your thoughts. Yes, posting on cancer forums and harassing people who are going through it would be disrespectful, but falling into the rabbit hole of fearing a particular disease is a symptom of your anxiety.

Feeling bad about having the fears is just going to fuel your anxiety and stop you working through your thoughts and getting (mentally) healthy.

[unsure_about_this]

Last year the ultrasound was just two cysts relating to the epdidymis and nothing to worry at this stage. The specialist who I saw who I was grateful for say we just sent you up for the ultrasound just to double check. Hopefully now with another ultrasound nothing has changed, I dont think it has not been marked as urgent as I dont have any red flag symptoms and I dont have a hard lump or any type of lump of the testicle what the GP felt (I am sure when I did it I felt something) I want to get this testicle cancer fear out the way. All the GP down at the pratice I attend know I have health anxiety because it is my notes.

[axolotl]

Last year the ultrasound was just two cysts relating to the epdidymis and nothing to worry at this stage. The specialist who I saw who I was grateful for say we just sent you up for the ultrasound just to double check. Hopefully now with another ultrasound nothing has changed, I dont think it has not been marked as urgent as I dont have any red flag symptoms and I dont have a hard lump or any type of lump of the testicle what the GP felt (I am sure when I did it I felt something) I want to get this testicle cancer fear out the way. All the GP down at the pratice I attend know I have health anxiety because it is my notes.

I'm going to be honest with you, I had TC fear very recently, due to a period of pain and discomfort in the gentleman's area (TMI alert, people...). I was prodding and poking at every opportunity, and even convinced myself I found a tiny lump and it was a done deal, which I felt very embarrassed about when the doctor reassured me it was a normal part of my anatomy (the bit where the epididymus meets the testicle). Because I hadn't ever poked around to that degree, I wasn't familiar with what things should have felt like, and I found myself terrified by normal things down there! In the end I had an ultrasound, and they found varicoceles which were probably causing the discomfort - an annoyance, but benign and nothing to worry about.

The point I want to make is I broke my own advice I give everyone on here and Googled like a madman during this period, and by the time I found my phantom "lump", I'd got through the panic to some degree and started to realise that TC isn't actually that scary, as these things go. It's easily cured in almost everyone who gets it. My point is from everything you have said I'd bet very good money you have no chance of having TC - you've been well-rummaged by a number of people who know exactly what they're looking for, and none seem to be entertaining it as a possbility. But as an all-consuming fear it's really not worth having, as even if the very very very (very very) unlikely event you were unlucky in the future, it would be sorted, and you'd be fine.

[unsure_about_this]

Well I had my ultrasound today as you was right nothing to worry about (just cysts) My question is how can the tech guy tell me straight away nothing was wrong. He read my notes that I have one done before. He says I may have felt one of these cysts

So these are cysts. Do I believe the guy, for now.

[axolotl]

Well I had my ultrasound today as you was right nothing to worry about (just cysts) My question is how can the tech guy tell me straight away nothing was wrong. He read my notes that I have one done before. He says I may have felt one of these cysts

So these are cysts. Do I believe the guy, for now.

Because he's not a "tech guy", he's a trained medical professional!!!!

[CHELLEB1017]

Glad to hear! I go for an ultrasound of my neck today! Did you ask the person to tell you if they thought you were okay? I hope I can get some kind of hint atleast!

[axolotl]

Glad to hear! I go for an ultrasound of my neck today! Did you ask the person to tell you if they thought you were okay? I hope I can get some kind of hint atleast!

Sometimes they don't, sometimes they do. It's a dangerous question to ask because if they remain tight-lipped you'll probably presume the worst, but each practice will have different policies so don't read much into it.

[unsure_about_this]

Glad to hear! I go for an ultrasound of my neck today! Did you ask the person to tell you if they thought you were okay? I hope I can get some kind of hint atleast!

I did not ask him, I just told him about what I was feeling. He told me the results staight away, He was taking his time, whether he wanted to double check himself as there is a lot of junk in the testicles

[MyNameIsTerry]

I don't think anyone should beat themselves up about the nature of their anxious thoughts. Yes, use the knowledge people are dealing with cancer right now to put things in perspective, but don't start feeling guilty about where your anxiety is taking your thoughts. Yes, posting on cancer forums and harassing people who are going through it would be disrespectful, but falling into the rabbit hole of fearing a particular disease is a symptom of your anxiety.

Feeling bad about having the fears is just going to fuel your anxiety and stop you working through your thoughts and getting (mentally) healthy.

Very well said. There is always someone worse off in this world, even worse than cancer too, but it's negative thinking to punish yourself for having a legitimate mental health disorder. Empathy & compassion to others going through something like cancer is one thing but be wary how anxiety can use It against you.

As an anecdote, I've had the privilege of knowing a cancer sufferer on this forum. A very remarkable person. They didn't get upset over your posts as they had anxiety too. Their mindset was good.