New here with panic ...

[Mika76]

Hello all! I am a 30 year old male from Amsterdam. I habe been, suffering from panic attacks on and off since an experience when I was 16 with drugs ... It got to the point in the beginning of my 20s when I couldn't leave the house in the evening anymore ... I followed 5 years of therapy, which really helped me go forward. Since then, I have been able to leave the house again, have fun, find a great job, basically live a normal life (almost ...)! The last step to my total healing is going very far away from home during the night (strangly, during the day it does not seem to be an issue). When I say very far it's more than 200 km away from my comfort zone... I never really dealt with this, but lately I have had a job opp in London (I work in banking) that I have had to refuse because of my panic attacks. I started CBT a few months back, and it has been helping ... I slept more than 200km away from home (Luxembourg twice already), went three times to London during the day ... and even though i was nearvous it went well ... I tried to sleep in London twide, but this was too overwelming for me (maybe a step too far too fast?). I know I have to confront the problem head on, but as you all know it's not always easy ... I was wondering if any of you had experience with CBT... I think it really works, maybe I was naive to think that 15 years of conditionning were going to dissappear after only 2 months of therapy ... I do feel like the fact of not goign to London is a failure, on the other hand I also feel like I need to be more patient and not run before I can wallk. Any feedback is greatly appreciated ... Good luck to all, I'm the living proof that stuck at home a few years ago, with time, belief and the right approach, you can get over it !

[groovygranny]

Hello Mika, big :welcome:to you!

I can't comment on the CBT I'm afraid as I've only ever had counselling, but just thought I'd say Hi and Welcome!

You'll get lots of support and help here!

:)

[honeybee3939]

Hi Mika

And welcome to NMP, its lovely to see you here, im sure you will get some great advice while making new friends on the way.:)

It Sounds like you have made some great progress already, WELL DONE for the achievements you have gained so far.:yesyes:
Im pleased to hear you are having CBT to help, im sure the therapy will help you overcome the last hurdle.

Here are a few links of success with CBT

Success with CBT
Maxine's cbt progress. (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2308)
CBT (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5287)
Starting CBT (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=5323)
Does CBT work? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=6671)
FW: I am getting there! (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7478)
CBT therapy for driving problems - my diary (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=7162)
CBT - My diary (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=8295)

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx

[carl.h]

Hi Mika76 and welcome, well I wish I could fail like you :D

Seriously you`ve done fantastic. One thing I often wonder about is my own "comfort zones".

THE HOUSE

Often alone here and probably less likely to get help should I need it. I tend to think more people die alone at home than anywhere else. I`m actually more likely to suffer an attack at home than elsewhere possibly due to over thinking.

THE CAR

This is a strange one. I think it`s a comfort zone cos it allows me to run away quickly, possibly to the hospital if I feel I need it, very seldom over the last 15 years if at all. Like most here though I dread the traffic jam or worse open countryside, yet I`ve never let it stop me going somewhere in the car. My family live 200 miles away and my daughter is off to Uni 150 miles away which was a lovely journey through the Cotswolds....Great lonely open countryside, beautiful but.........( Don`t you wish the speed limit was 100mph at times and if only I could stop my foot shaking on the accelerator) :D

AND THAT`S A COMFORT ZONE ????????????????:shades: :D

Mika you know you have to face your fears and you`re doing it, I think you`re doing wonderfull. As you say 15 years of self taught behaviour isn`t going to disappear overnight but you`re getting there. PA`s are an illness I liken them to toothache when they`re here they`re all encompassing and hurt like hell but they aint gonna kill you and you know in a while they`ll go.

[Jaco45er]

Welcome Mika :)

We don't have failures, we practise, then if it doesn't work, we practice some more ;)

Jaco

[Mika76]

thkx for all your answers. Carl, I have pretty much the same experience as you... I can go 200 km from here (I live in Brussels), and sleep in Luxembourg, the coast or Amsterdam. I'm nervous, but I can do it. During the day, never a problem, I could go to NY. My parents moved to the South of France, and after going there a couple of times I feel at home there now too. Basically, my PA's are only an issue far away from home at night when I know I cannot get back (like London)... In Amsterdam, if worst comes to worst I know I can take a car/taxi and be back home within 2 hours. If I goto London i'm stuck, and that scares me. I need to get over it. But not easy. I am going to goto to sleep in Amsterdam next week, and goign to Paris the week after from my mom's 60th... no excuses there. Shame I have to refuse the job offer, but hey, that's life!

[carl.h]

So you`d panic in London (my hometown) and I`d panic in Amsterdam, how ludicrous are we ? :D :D :D Talk about territorial eh !

[Mika76]

yeah, now that you put it that way does sound pretty ironic huh? I should have taken my Xanax when i was getting anxious, but didn't.... don't know why, i'm not scared of the drug, i hardly ever take it (once a year??) and I know it works ... My girlfriend was really angry I didn't make the effort to stay ... she says I chickened out too easily ... the worst part ... she's right!!! Aaarrggghhh !!!! Btw, also thkx for the CBT info, very insightful.

[carl.h]

Sometimes I wish my Step Father was alive, he`d never let me get away with what I do and I`m like him too. When my eldest started to suffer too, I kicked her up the bum fairly quickly although it may have seemed cruel. I made her go out and when she was having a bad attack one day and she said she thought she was dying I stood there and said " Go on then die"....How cruel am I ?

She was over them very very quickly cos I didn`t let them get hold of her, I knew what I had done to myself.

Me I`m too strong and too damn proud, so I`m kinda stuck. I know what I have to do but like others I`m too worried about my image to let myself get embarrassed and get over the flamin things.

[trac67]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum, you will get a lot of good advice here and make some new friends

Take care

Trac xx

[eastender]

Hi Mika, welcome to NMP

[manmoor]

Hi Mika,

A big warm welcome to you. xx

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Mika,

Welcome to the forum. You will find alot of support, information and friends here.

Laura :)

[nomorepanic]

Hi Mika

A warm welcome aboard and lovely to see you here.

You will meet some fantastic people and get loads of support and advice.

[Pink Princess]

hey welcome to the site, hope you settle in and make good friends here xx take kare xxx

[dizzie]

dear mika
A huge welcome to the forum , i am sure you will find lots of help and support on here as i already have done jusyt by looking at others posts
love dizzie:flowers: