It's funny how we know other posters are being irrational

[Mav]

I've been seeing this a lot, and I do this myself.

It actually makes me laugh because over and over again I see lymphnode posts (my source of anxiety) and over and over again I just want to scream " YOU ARE FINE! STOP IT" to other posters on here because I KNOW they are fine and it's anxiety taking over.

And then, every few days I spiral over my own lymphnodes and always feel like "You're not fine, yours feels odd, it's different, it has to be malignant" and so on...?

Hypocrisy at it's finest :wacko:

Why can't we treat ourselves how we treat others :doh::doh::doh:

[CHELLEB1017]

Omg! I thought the same thing today! I'm writing to people thinking why can't I feel this way about myself? I've been sitting here worrying these two little bumps in my hairline are the end of me for the past few hours!!!!

[bin tenn]

Maybe it's not as scary when you're reading the same things from someone else. We may not be selfish, but anxiety sure is, so anxiety says "it's not me, it's not a big deal; they're fine".

[snowghost57]

Anxiety it FEAR. Until you find the cause of your fear, the parasite of anxiety will rule. I envy people with HA, you have a way to identify your anxiety, something you can point at. I don't have a bump, lump or bleeding to go to a doctor with my symptoms. People with HA can have scans, an MRI, blood tests that prove there is nothing physically wrong. I can't look at Dr. Google. It is my thoughts that I war with. Please trust your doctors and tests and stop examining your body. My anxiety? It is my brain that has irrational thoughts about the future of my life, the mistakes I made in the past. What will my future be like.......

Just my two cents here.

[Iwant2bhealthy]

Why can't we treat ourselves how we treat others :doh::doh::doh:

If I would treat myself the way I treat others I think I would not have anxiety at all! A psychologist I used to see once asked me what would I think of a person who treats someone the way I treat myself. It made me cry. No decent person would be as demanding, strict and unforgiving with another human being as we often are with ourselves. The physical symptoms I get, and the fact that I dwell on them, are in my case a result of how I feel about myself.

I constantly feel not good enough, and I fear that at work people will think bad of me. This leads to stress, sweating, stomach aches and heart palpitations whenever a challenging project lands on my plate... I mistrust my ability to perform at work, and I mistrust my body to do what it needs to do, hence the panic attacks and fear of heart attacks. Thankfully, my body seems to do its job regardless of my silly thoughts.

Sent from my SM-G800H using Tapatalk

[Fishmanpa]

Not being a sufferer, Pretty much 99.9% of the posts are irrational to me. Thus the bluntness in my responses.

And... for me... as someone who has realized many poster's worst fears, I wish I could reach through the screen and slap some of the OPs upside the head!

I WISH I had the clear test results that 99.999999% of those here get.

If I knew that the reason I felt the way I did was treatable, I would pursue it with everything I had and in fact, I have had therapy and took meds to overcome the irrational thoughts that interfered with my life. I did so, worked hard and overcame the issue.

Again... 99.99999% here have the "choice"... I didn't. You have no idea how fortunate you actually are. Treating your illness, while challenging, is far less invasive than what I had to do to treat mine.

Positive thoughts

[ScaredLizard]

Anxiety it FEAR. Until you find the cause of your fear, the parasite of anxiety will rule. I envy people with HA, you have a way to identify your anxiety, something you can point at. I don't have a bump, lump or bleeding to go to a doctor with my symptoms. People with HA can have scans, an MRI, blood tests that prove there is nothing physically wrong. I can't look at Dr. Google. It is my thoughts that I war with. Please trust your doctors and tests and stop examining your body. My anxiety? It is my brain that has irrational thoughts about the future of my life, the mistakes I made in the past. What will my future be like.......

Just my two cents here.

Except for the fact that I'm severely disabled with health anxiety. My health anxiety stems from the fear of death and unknown which is not an easy trust your doctor! Especially since I have a legitimate disability that is rare and was misdiagnosed for 8 YEARS.

I get where you are coming from but your words actually are quite......rude.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Except for the fact that I'm severely disabled with health anxiety. My health anxiety stems from the fear of death and unknown which is not an easy trust your doctor! Especially since I have a legitimate disability that is rare and was misdiagnosed for 8 YEARS.

I get where you are coming from but your words actually are quite......rude.

I understand how it can come across, I don't think it was meant that way. From speaking to snowghost on other threads, I've found her to be lovely. It's probably just about how it's sometimes not easy to get things across in words.

As a non HAer myself, I think it just means that when I go to my GP about my symptoms he'll just say "huh, you've got anxiety so meds or therapy?". There's no tests, the diagnosis is already there. I can't attempt to rationalise the symptoms in the way you guys can but I don't need to anyway, I don't doubt them in the first place.

But with HA, the tests don't do anything anyway...we can both experience the same symptoms yet I won't doubt them whereas you will (not considering anything linked to your disability, which I think anyone would be following up just in case regardless of anxiety just to be safe) so our thought patterns about our themes differ or vary but when I am struggling with my obsessions & compulsions or the GAD, you may not have those same issues and can objectively say the same to me. For instance, when I'm obsessed with wearing the same t-shirt for weeks...you may, without a care, swap one over. Swapping that t-shirt for me is perhaps like you resisting poking, prodding or Googling.

Either way, I think we all know there's no such thing as the grass being greener with these disorders. It's more a question of how severely they impair you. But I would be lying if I said I hadn't sometimes been struggling and thought how lucky someone was but later you realise this is a bit daft.

It's always easier to look at others and not feel their pain in the same intensity as we do our own but if we did a swap (hey, a new show "Anxietyswap" :biggrin:), I think we all know we would be feeling just as bad as each other.

That's the thing about a place like this forum - I want to be more like you and you want to be more like me! Maybe that's where peer support has it's strengths?

[unsure_about_this]

I wish I could get my anxiety fixed, everything lump, bump, ache, twinge, mark is bad. I have tried CBT in the past that did not work. One the GP I saw who is named as my main GP says do you want to try tablets because of my health anxiety.

[ScaredLizard]

I understand how it can come across, I don't think it was meant that way. From speaking to snowghost on other threads, I've found her to be lovely. It's probably just about how it's sometimes not easy to get things across in words.

As a non HAer myself, I think it just means that when I go to my GP about my symptoms he'll just say "huh, you've got anxiety so meds or therapy?". There's no tests, the diagnosis is already there. I can't attempt to rationalise the symptoms in the way you guys can but I don't need to anyway, I don't doubt them in the first place.

But with HA, the tests don't do anything anyway...we can both experience the same symptoms yet I won't doubt them whereas you will (not considering anything linked to your disability, which I think anyone would be following up just in case regardless of anxiety just to be safe) so our thought patterns about our themes differ or vary but when I am struggling with my obsessions & compulsions or the GAD, you may not have those same issues and can objectively say the same to me. For instance, when I'm obsessed with wearing the same t-shirt for weeks...you may, without a care, swap one over. Swapping that t-shirt for me is perhaps like you resisting poking, prodding or Googling.

Either way, I think we all know there's no such thing as the grass being greener with these disorders. It's more a question of how severely they impair you. But I would be lying if I said I hadn't sometimes been struggling and thought how lucky someone was but later you realise this is a bit daft.

It's always easier to look at others and not feel their pain in the same intensity as we do our own but if we did a swap (hey, a new show "Anxietyswap" :biggrin:), I think we all know we would be feeling just as bad as each other.

That's the thing about a place like this forum - I want to be more like you and you want to be more like me! Maybe that's where peer support has it's strengths?

I have never wished to have another form of anxiety. I have PTSD, GAD, and OCD. It sucks but I never have looked at someone and thought 'oh wow they have it easy.'

It's a daft thought to be honest. That shows that you are focusing too much on what other people are going through and it's a type of judgement. Just like people telling me 'Well because you are able to push yourself in a wheelchair you aren't as bad as so and so'

This isn't a suffering Olympics and thinking of it as a who has it worse and better divides us. We ALL have anxiety and it's not better or easier for anyone. It just is.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I have never wished to have another form of anxiety. I have PTSD, GAD, and OCD. It sucks but I never have looked at someone and thought 'oh wow they have it easy.'

It's a daft thought to be honest. That shows that you are focusing too much on what other people are going through and it's a type of judgement. Just like people telling me 'Well because you are able to push yourself in a wheelchair you aren't as bad as so and so'

This isn't a suffering Olympics and thinking of it as a who has it worse and better divides us. We ALL have anxiety and it's not better or easier for anyone. It just is.

I know there are people much worse than I am. But it's not about comparison to trump someone's problems by acknowledging that either. But doing it the other way presents more challenges, not least even knowing the true picture.

When I did things like this it was about judging - it was about being in pain. When I got past the worse periods, I found you look more logically at why this type of negative thinking holds you back. But I also think it can be quite natural to think this way when you are struggling and upset. It's a common problem to deal with in low mood periods or depression so these days I take the view that this could also be the reason. I find that means things bother me less, but I know what you mean when it's outside of such pain as it points to something else.

[Mav]

I just want to bump this and say thankyou to all the posters, I felt myself dipping a bit and I decided to look at my past threads for some recapping of old advice. There really is some good advice here, thankyou :)

[saf138]

Hi
This is actually a very good thread not only do I think what you said about someone stressing over nothing and we tell em to stop it and than we stress over the same thing ourselves to be true but I have noticed quite a trend too that from time to time I will notice a influx of posts from differant posters about the same issue all come at once.
For instance at the moment headaches seem to be the case but many are not taking into consideration that as we are getting hotter weather not only do we get groggy and bothered but also dehydrated which is a very common cause for headaches.
Even during the winter I remember an influx of lymphoma posts all at once because of swollen lymph nodes or painful nodes but instead of considering that it was the season for infection,flu,colds,allergies etc which is usually the main cause for swollen lymph nodes we just take it to be worst case scenario so my point is just seeing an influx of posts about the same issue come in all at once should be assuring in itself.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Good post, saf. Forum trends can be influenced by environmental factors. Whether it's a scary world event, the media all jumping on the bandwagon over something rare that's always been there or seasonal changes, it's a useful part of rationalisation.

Interestingly there is even a theme in OCD called Emotional Contamination that may touch on this slightly. It talks about the fear of contracting another person's negative traits. But it's a less common one and I've come across people on here who read about something and then practice it. I don't so much mean someone triggered by an article, it's more like the person "inherits" all the symptoms e.g. one guy couldn't talk to agoraphobics without taking their symptoms on. Maybe it does cross over into what we see here but it feels like a complicated issue for a professional to confirm. It was more about taking on new mental health issues than the typical HA triggering of a new disease to worry about.

One guy I spent ages talking to on the OCD board had a severe long episode of POCD reading about Saville.

It's a strange susceptibility issue. I saw another term for this once but couldn't find the article again.

[saf138]

Spot on Terry I look at it like a game of pass the parcel so because someone has the symptoms of a phantom illness and I have similar symptoms it must mean I too have that illness and than the next person will either see or read about it and believe they too have that illness because of similar symptoms which could all be ruled out with a tad of rationality so the parcel would carry to be passed around untill its time to open the parcel and its empty nothing just an empty box but how much effort and energy we used passing it around.

[Fishmanpa]

I look at it like a game of pass the parcel so because someone has the symptoms of a phantom illness and I have similar symptoms it must mean I too have that illness and than the next person will either see or read about it and believe they too have that illness because of similar symptoms which could all be ruled out with a tad of rationality so the parcel would carry to be passed around untill its time to open the parcel and its empty nothing just an empty box but how much effort and energy we used passing it around.

That is a fantastic analogy of not only what takes place with anxiety and the various manifestations of it, but of what takes place in life. You can replace the word "illness" with anything that happens to be worrying you with undue reason.

I was speaking with my sister today. We were talking about my Mom (she passed Jan. 1) and how we've been dealing with things. Needless to say, It's been difficult for both of us but in uniquely different ways. She was talking about financial things and what papers need to be presented with what documentation etc. I told her there's enough in her accounts to cover the cost of a lawyer. Let them deal with the legal stuff and take that "worry" off your shoulders. In that case, a lawyer can handle the problem. In the same manner for many here, a mental health professional can help handle the problem and teach you learn to take your worries off your shoulders.

Positive thoughts

[saf138]

I'm sorry to hear about your mother Fishman may she rest in peace.

I find it very interesting how people deal with certain situations in life for example you seem to be a laid back logical person whereas your sister may worry about problems piling up one after another even when I was going through my episodes I honestly didnt know wether I was coming or going but on the other hand my wife has\had real problems yet she just doesnt give a damn and gets on with it her attitude is we are all destined to leave this world so it doesnt matter if it's today Tommorow or in 40 years time and that's the attitude that helped me in many ways. I remember going on and on and on about this lump or that mark or this pain and she turned to me and said "Saf its now got to the point where you want to get ill or find something because of the way your acting" and that just hit home I knew I had to snap out of it and deal with the anxiety.
Most of the time a reality check is all that is needed

[Fishmanpa]

Most of the time a reality check is all that is needed

Thanks about Mom. It truly was best as she had lost touch with reality several years prior.

I agree with your statement. The sheer amount of inner fortitude, if I were to put a value on it, exceeds what I thought I was physically and mentally capable of. Whether the reality be real or imaginary, it puts equal stress on the individual. That reality check stops the spiral enough so that reality sinks in.

Positive thoughts

[HopelessWorrier2011]

I do this also and do you know why I think it's easy for us to rationalise other people's concerns? .... I believe it to be because it's easier to be kind to other people than it is to ourselves. Good for the other people on this forum, hell for ourselves x

[nhelen79]

When it comes to others' issues, I trust my reasoning because they are facts based upon what I read from the posts. I have no emotions attached to those facts. When it comes to me, I have emotions and fears. Then I don't trust my logic anymore :(((