Feeling lost

[Bakebeansrule]

This latest bout of anxiety has stuck with me for a while now (10 weeks maybe a little more) and I feel stuck. In the past after a little while my symptoms have disappeared and I've moved on until the next health scare came along but this feels different.

I've been to my dr twice about chest and back pains and she's said its tension and would rather I didn't go back onto sertraline until I was having 4-5 bad days a week as it will probably increase my anxiety before it gets better.

What do I do next? My anxiety seems to be there every day, not all day but I'm waiting for it I know I'll have another panic attack before long or more chest pains and its started affecting what I do.

We had a family day out on Thursday, spent quite a while in the car (which I don't usually do I like to be close to home) the whole journey there I had awful chest pain the only thing that helped was taking long deep breathes, as soon as we got to the zoo the pains disappeared and I felt great. Last night I felt very on edge my arms and legs were restless and I couldn't relax I was really worried I was going to get chest pains but luckily I didn't I've woken up today feeling very bruised around my ribs and back so I must have been tense in the night.

If I go back to my dr will I be wasting her time if she doesn't want me to go back into medication? I really feel lost. I thought the pressure of changing jobs was causing my anxiety but I think it's just my day to day, my fear of another panic attack I'm not sure what to do to break this cycle

[Bill]

From what you've said I think I can make sense of it for you...

I thought the pressure of changing jobs was causing my anxiety

Changing jobs, especially from an overly stressful one to something better, will always help to ease stress and anxiety but the change in itself will cause stress because it's unsettling which will cause anxiety as we like to feel secure.

I've been to my dr twice about chest and back pains and she's said its tension

Any change in our circumstances causes stress which in turn causes tension which will result in tensing muscles causing chest and back pains.

Last night I felt very on edge my arms and legs were restless and I couldn't relax I was really worried I was going to get chest pains

When we're feeling stressed, any pains will cause health anxiety. We then worry if the pains will surface and as they're caused by tension, the worry causes us to tense up so the pains will return creating a cycle between pain and fear and back to pain etc. Panics are also caused by stress so when we panic we then fear the panic returning which it does because the tension we create by worrying about them causes them which is why My anxiety seems to be there every day, not all day but I'm waiting for it I know I'll have another panic attack before long or more chest pains and its started affecting what I do.

A change of scenery like being at the zoo acts as a distraction which helps you to forget your fear and pain which is why you felt ok there. Deep breaths will also help because they relax your muscles so you don't feel so tense and this in turn will stop the muscle pains and so stop you worrying about your health.

I think there are 3 things I'd suggest you attempt. Firstly, practise relaxation techniques like your deep breathing. Do them regularly during the day and before you go to bed. Secondly, use distraction. Think about the things you really enjoy such as music or playing a game etc. You need to break the fear cycle by stopping your mind focusing on your anxiety and body all the time. Keep reminding yourself that all your pains are just anxiety created by stress. Lastly, give it time because changing jobs is always unsettling but in time as you settle in things will ease. If you find you can't break the cycle yourself and the anxiety gets worse then ask the doctor for the ad's as they might help to ease the symptoms for you but in the long term if you learn ways to keep your mind from thinking about anxiety and your body all the time, you won't need the meds because you'll be keeping your body relaxed. Remember, anxiety is created by stress but it's the mind that keeps anxiety alive because we allow it. Try not to keep feeding your anxiety because as you've already discovered, when you did deep breaths and got to the zoo, the way you were thinking and what you were doing stopped the anxious feelings so in a way you already have the tools and power to help yourself. Just have more belief in your abilities because you already have them.

[Bakebeansrule]

Thank you for replying. I was starting to think I'd outstayed my welcome on here and not making sense that's why no one was answering.

I'm so scared these chest and back pains could be somthing other than anxiety. In 2012 just after I'd had a baby I was getting horrendous chest pains, they would have me rolling around on the floor in tears until I was sick. My old dr said it was anxiety due to becoming a mum after a miscarriage then a difficult birth. This went on for 9 months until I noticed the pain always happend after id eaten fried food. Turns out I had gallstones. It worries me that they were put down to anxiety for so long maybe similar is happening now.

The new job isn't great I have nothing in common with my new work colleagues so spend the whole day on my own and that doesn't help with my anxiety. I get really frustrated working with lazy people then these pains start then I feel anxious. I feel like I'm running around trying to do other people's work while they are standing around planning their next evening out together.

I can walk for miles with my dog and feel great I can even run and have no chest pains surely that should be enough to prove to myself it's not a health issue? I'm not the mum, partner, family member or friend I want to be when I feel like this. I have all these rubbish thoughts rushing around my head telling me I'm seriously ill and don't relax because then your cheating yourself into thinking your gonna be ok. I have all the support I could ask for I have amazing friends and family and the most perfect little girl yet I keep finding myself going off on my own in tears because I'm not good enough for them

[Bill]

It sounds like this new job isn't helping. I always feel there are 2 types of stress when it comes to jobs. The first is when we're overloaded with work that we struggle to keep up with all the demands placed upon us but the second type is as in your case when you're in a job that could place us under all the pressures I've mentioned above but and/or place us in a situation where we feel isolated because we're working alone. This can cause a lot of stress in itself. You could be overloaded with work but if you're not, you can still feel very stressed because it gives you have too much time to think and because you're alone it will mean you focus on the negative thoughts of being alone, about how you're feeling and how disconnected you feel with others around you.

These negative thoughts will mean you become frustrated and frustration can lead to feeling resentment and guilt which combined with the fears the stress causes will lead you to being depressed so you'll end up feeling you're not worthy and not good enough.

One thing leads to another in a downward spiral.

As you say, when you go out for long walks with the dog, if you did have a serious health problem, it would most probably trigger the pains but you find the opposite happens and you feel well and that's because you're relaxed which should be proof that your pains are all connected with the job and your mood. However, you can't self-reassure yourself because of the situation you're in which keeps dragging you back down into negativity.

I don't know what sort of job you do but if it were me, I would consider if the job is right for me or whether I should think about looking for something more sociable and satisfying. If not though, I would find ways not to sit alone all the time and go and talk to the others, especially in the lunch break. I've found in some jobs, people can be reserved when it comes to newcomers. It can take time for people to accept new staff so I would approach them and introduce myself and find out their interests or just discuss the weather. Maybe they have children too so you would have something in common to talk about. You could find you'll be invited out on a social. One other technique is find something you need help with and go and ask someone then strike up a conversation with them. It can take time to get to know people so try a little at a time. If at the end you feel you really can't connect with them and you don't have any job satisfaction then I'd really consider looking for another job because if we feel happy in our job, we don't feel so stressed and so anxiety is much less of a problem.

Also, if you can't shake the worry about the pains, I should think a doctor can easily determine if gallstones are an issue because they will know what they're looking for and then if they say there are none, trust them because they will know without any doubt and you'll know then that anxiety is definitely the real cause of all your pains.

[Bakebeansrule]

Thank you for replying again. I've actually had a really good day at work today I didn't feel any anxiety at all.

Do you think it's really possible for anxiety to cause actual chest pains? I'm still a little worried about the possibility of having gallstones again (I read some people get them again after having your gallbladder removed) so I'm going to make an appointment with my dr and see what she thinks.

I had a weeks holiday from work last week and still got these pains on and off so that was what made me think they weren't anxiety related as I shouldn't feel
Like that at home. But I'm now wondering if my brain is making me think food is causing these pains like it did with gallstones and the awful indigestion I had a couple of months ago when this all stated and that's what causing my problems

[Bill]

Yes, it's very possibly due to muscle tension but the doctor is always the only one who can really advise.

Having a weeks holiday is good but it can also allow your mind time to think too much about fears if it's not occupied enough will keep symptoms alive.

If you think back to work today and how well you felt, remind yourself of the things you did at work and how your mind was thinking. Try to keep repeating what you did and how you were thinking for tomorrow and the day after because you've proved to yourself that you can overcome your anxiety if you keep practising the same approach to each day.