LiveAboveIt
16-04-17, 01:24
This is a difficult one to explain as it's a new symptom for me. I've been doing really great for about a month now, without much anxiety to speak of.. When it does come back around, it's always in the fashion of a voice in my head that questions everything and makes me anxious.. It makes me think about thing that I'd rather not think or worry about it and I can feel this detached sense of thinking that only comes around when the anxiety/depression rears its head. It doesn't feel like me, rather just thoughts or a negative form of thinking that forces itself in. Sometimes I don't have these thoughts or this way of thinking at all, for weeks even, which makes it slightly terrifying when it does actually come about.
The most frightening thing, however, is this strange sense of tunnel vision and mental confusion. The best way I can describe it is.. For example, just now it was raining incredibly hard, cracking against the windows and really high winds.. I took a moment to look outside and at first I enjoyed the sight and took in the weather.. And then a thought was forced into my head "How is this possible? Is any of this real? How does the weather possibly do this?" And it's not so much the question itself that bothers me.. It's moreso that it brings to my attention that I don't understand exactly how a lot of stuff works in life. All of a sudden not understanding how weather works or how rain is created or how it's so incredibly sudden and powerful has now become an incredibly terrifying and dire thing.
Obviously I realize how ridiculous it is to have anxiety over something so small and simple.. But for some reason when my head gets in this state, anything that I don't understand is suddenly terrifying and I can't cope with the fact that I don't understand it. It feels very much like a strange mental confusion and overreaction over simple things that comes out of nowhere.
I think the worst thing about all of this is that I don't feel particularly anxious. I'm not thinking about anything or feeling buggy, it just suddenly comes on in waves for seemingly no reason. Then I can go back to doing whatever distracts my mind, but it will happen again later when a random negative worrying thought pops into my head.
Is this confusion and strange sense of reasoning just anxiety? Is this normal or a symptom of a possible worse condition? Sometimes I worry that I am developing a different strange mental illness. Anxiety to me has always been fear of things that make sense, even to the extent of worrying about health anxiety. As rare or unfounded as it may be, it makes sense to me why I am worried about it. But this random confusion and terror over things that I don't understand, along with feelings of fog and tunnel vision are probably the worst and just doesn't feel like the old typical anxiety I've been used to having my entire life.
Anyway, sorry for the wall of text.. I was just hoping that maybe someone could relate to this and set my mind at ease. I appreciate it if you respond, for those of you that make it this far. Thanks again.
The most frightening thing, however, is this strange sense of tunnel vision and mental confusion. The best way I can describe it is.. For example, just now it was raining incredibly hard, cracking against the windows and really high winds.. I took a moment to look outside and at first I enjoyed the sight and took in the weather.. And then a thought was forced into my head "How is this possible? Is any of this real? How does the weather possibly do this?" And it's not so much the question itself that bothers me.. It's moreso that it brings to my attention that I don't understand exactly how a lot of stuff works in life. All of a sudden not understanding how weather works or how rain is created or how it's so incredibly sudden and powerful has now become an incredibly terrifying and dire thing.
Obviously I realize how ridiculous it is to have anxiety over something so small and simple.. But for some reason when my head gets in this state, anything that I don't understand is suddenly terrifying and I can't cope with the fact that I don't understand it. It feels very much like a strange mental confusion and overreaction over simple things that comes out of nowhere.
I think the worst thing about all of this is that I don't feel particularly anxious. I'm not thinking about anything or feeling buggy, it just suddenly comes on in waves for seemingly no reason. Then I can go back to doing whatever distracts my mind, but it will happen again later when a random negative worrying thought pops into my head.
Is this confusion and strange sense of reasoning just anxiety? Is this normal or a symptom of a possible worse condition? Sometimes I worry that I am developing a different strange mental illness. Anxiety to me has always been fear of things that make sense, even to the extent of worrying about health anxiety. As rare or unfounded as it may be, it makes sense to me why I am worried about it. But this random confusion and terror over things that I don't understand, along with feelings of fog and tunnel vision are probably the worst and just doesn't feel like the old typical anxiety I've been used to having my entire life.
Anyway, sorry for the wall of text.. I was just hoping that maybe someone could relate to this and set my mind at ease. I appreciate it if you respond, for those of you that make it this far. Thanks again.