Gwynne
18-04-17, 15:48
Hi just joined. I have been suffering from horrendous anxiety on and off for eight years. My first bout I was so sure I was dying I went to A&E where a very pleasant doctor diagnosed angina. I don't have angina but he managed to scare me even more than I was already. I worked away from home for eight months of the year in the holiday business and during that time was free from anxiety. For the four months at home I just battled with panic attacks and crippling fear of I know not what. I am sort of retired now, working as cover for a week or so each month, and the terror never leaves. Sometimes I can get it under control for almost a whole day before its back. I wake in the morning crying and weighed down with dread. My worst symptom, if it is a symptom, is the terrible breathlessness. I don't know if I get breathless and that makes me aware of my breathing or the other way round. It doesn't take me long to get it under control which is comforting in a way but as I am a smoker it's scary. I can't talk to my husband about any of this because he doesn't understand and has a kind of pull yourself together attitude and I know I'm making his life miserable as well. My GP is sympathetic but just gives me a repeat prescription of the same drug I've been on with changes of dosage for 8 years and as far as I can tell it's never made the slightest difference. Sorry to be so full of self pity but it's so good to just say it all and not worry that you are worrying or upsetting other people.