The age old question, how do we just deal with life (super overwhelmed)?

[.Poppy.]

This is probably more of a rant thread than anything else, I'm just super overwhelmed at the moment and am struggling to deal.

I currently work full time and I live at home right now until I move out in August. I'm trying to save as much as I can but am freaking out about expenses - I make okay money considering I'm just starting out but it could be better. I'll be going to grad school in the fall (thankfully some of my classes are paid for as I work at a university), so I have to figure out how to pay for some of my classes, rent, utilities, care for two of my pets (one of which is kind of high-needs), and whatever else I need to buy/pay for.

My high-maintenance dog has to go to a specialist next week to see about medications. He's very anxious/reactive and is currently on meds but one of them makes him really groggy and I want to take him off/try something else. I also want to enroll him in more training classes - which of course is expensive.

I got into the grad program I really wanted - college student development - but am concerned that this will somehow just be a dead end or not worth it.

I'm considering taking on a second job to help cover some things I need and pay off the money I owe in previous student loans (thankfully it's only about $14,000). But, I'm ashamed at the idea of needing a second job and I'm trying to find something that can work around my schedule. I feel like the fact that I didn't get a better job out of college in the first place is all my fault.

On that topic, I'm very concerned about just not having enough time for work, more work, class(es), homework, pets, etc.

One of my cats died yesterday and I'm still really upset about that but am also pretty numb. He was old, but I tried out a new flea/tick treatment on him and somehow have managed to convince myself that is what killed him and it was all my fault. Also, since my other cat and my dog use the same treatment, I'm afraid I'm going to kill them as well.

I am so, so tired. I think I'm sleeping fine but I'm just exhausted during the day.

I can't shut my brain off. Part of me says, "this is just life" but I don't know how people do it. Every time I think of being in debt or trying to survive financially I can't breathe.

[Citydeer]

Sorry to hear you are struggling right now. Sending hugs. You do seem to have a lot on your plate, however you also are putting a lot of unnecessary guilt and pressure on yourself. Remind yourself to be kind to yourself whenever you have negative thoughts - like when thinking you should have got a better job out of college. Our 20's are all about the journey and finding our path in life, making mistakes and overcoming them. You're making progress and should be proud of what you've achieved thus far.

Maybe make a list of priorities and see if there is anything that you can put on the back burner right now. You will be the best person to decide what these things are, and maybe get advice from someone who knows you well (or a therapist) who can help you prioritise. Possible options could be, defer your studies until you save more money, worry about training classes for your dog a bit later down the track.

Sometimes we have to accept the reality that we have bitten off more than we can chew, and we have to take some stuff off our plate in the interests of our mental health. Other times we are simply blowing things out of proportion in our minds and simply need to start tackling our goals one step at a time instead of getting overwhelmed by looking at the full "to do" list. Maybe use a week planner or some kind of schedule organiser/excel spreadsheet to check realistically whether you will have enough finances and time for what you want to do. Make changes accordingly. If you think your plans are viable, invest in coping mechanisms - different things work for different people but daily home meditation, exercise, a healthy diet, therapy or online CBT to learn strategies of coping with anxiety and possibly medication are all options.

You will get there!


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[.Poppy.]

Citydeer - thank you :) I felt a sense of calm reading your reply, and I think I needed that!

One of the reasons that I'm stressed about my dog is that my parents (who live in the country) want me to take him with me when I move. They'll keep him if they have to, but he doesn't get along with one of their dogs and my dad really doesn't like him, so I have to get him somewhat "town ready", but he's reactive to strangers and has high anxiety himself, so that's kind of an uphill battle. We have made some progress though!

I want to get through my degree quickly, but I'm thinking of just starting with one class this fall. For one thing, I get ONE class paid for per semester, so I won't have to worry about it financially. I can also get into the swing of things and figure out the system of being both a full-time employee and a student at the university (not totally sure how the procedures of that work out yet), which will be helpful.

Doesn't help that my brother is quite successful and I've had a series of setbacks. I also just really hate the feeling of being in debt. Though I'm thankful for the amount - I have friends who will owe over $100,000 by the time they're done!

I am taking medication, and I do think it helps. I just need to step back and breathe.

[Citydeer]

No worries. Uni while working full time is stressful - that same situation during my undergrad caused me to develop panic disorder. For that reason, at this stage I have decided not to do post grad study. It's all about being honest with yourself about where you're at. Personally I think you should perhaps start with just the one class. There's no point rushing to get your degree finished at the expense of your mental health. Don't be hard on yourself or compare yourself to the success of other people in your life. We all have our own journeys and different issues, success isn't just about jobs, qualifications and money. Just talking from my own experience I wish I didn't get some consumed with uni and paid more attention to other definitions of success, like looking after my mental health and physical fitness and diet, my appearance (some days I would forget to shower or brush my hair), being a good friend and a kind person, a patient colleague - whatever.


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[vicky23]

Hi Poppy,
wow that is a lot it's no wonder you're tired! I think that people with anxiety also struggle with feelings of inferiority and guilt where we don't need to. I think the fact that you're going to uni and work so hard is very admirable it doesn't matter what that job is.
I'm really sorry to hear about your cat :(
I find writing things down helpful when I'm feeling overwhelmed, either on paper or on this forum it just feels more manageable to have it laid out in front of you rather than whizzing around your brain
Best wishes
X

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm really sorry to hear you have lost your cat, Poppy. :hugs::flowers:

Anyone who has followed your threads will know how dedicated you are to your dog in getting him help for his anxiety. No one would doubt you when it comes to caring for your pets.

Pleae don't let those thoughts make you think otherwise. Your cat would have loved you all the way to the end for the care & love you gave him. I have no doubt he had a good life with you.

[.Poppy.]

I'm really sorry to hear you have lost your cat, Poppy. :hugs::flowers:

Anyone who has followed your threads will know how dedicated you are to your dog in getting him help for his anxiety. No one would doubt you when it comes to caring for your pets.

Pleae don't let those thoughts make you think otherwise. Your cat would have loved you all the way to the end for the care & love you gave him. I have no doubt he had a good life with you.

Thank you, Terry :) I needed to read that today of all days, as I just got back from a long trip with my pup to see a vet and have his meds changed. Fingers crossed it's beneficial.

It's been a stressful time, for sure, but I'm working on just taking things as they come.