In a total panic over new symptom

[FreakOutQueen]

Hi every,

So those who have read my previous posts know I've been having awful anxiety about my breasts lately. So far I have had a mammogram (normal), ultrasound (normal) and an examination by a breast specialist who saw nothing alarming. I had my mammogram yesterday which was normal but today I noticed two burst blood vessels on my left breast and one on my right. My logical brain says it's from the pressure of the mammogram, but my scary brain says IBC. I also noticed if I push up on my right nipple, it will invert for like 2 seconds and then pop back out. I've never noticed this before and it's scaring me. It doesn't stay inverted, just when I mechanically make it happen, but I've never noticed this before. I am really scared right now :(

[ServerError]

In the nicest possible way, I have to ask you what you're expecting to get from this forum that the professionals and their gold-standard tests haven't provided you.

Nobody here is medically trained (I don't think). For that reason, I defer to those who are, and they're saying there is nothing wrong.

Blood vessels burst anywhere on our bodies and it means nothing.

I'm sure you know what I'm going to ask now: what help are you getting with your anxiety?

[tillyyy]

If you've just had a mammoram it will pick up on any abnormality, and it won't develop after only one day! The blood vessels will be from pressure and I'm pretty sure the nipple inversion won't mean anything eitber

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[FreakOutQueen]

My fear is mammograms cannot pick up Inflammatory Breast Cancer. To answer your other question about my anxiety - I began therapy two weeks ago.

[ServerError]

My fear is mammograms cannot pick up Inflammatory Breast Cancer. To answer your other question about my anxiety - I began therapy two weeks ago.

Good to hear. Make sure you give it time and do your best to follow through with it.

What answer are you genuinely looking for? If you asked that of yourself, what would you say? I ask this because I'm not sure what anyone can say. There is nothing more reassuring than the treatment you've had. If you did have breast cancer - any kind - you wouldn't be discharged. They'd catch it. I'm sure you'll tell me about scare stories of it being missed, but those are such as tiny percentage of cases. There'll always be uncertainty to an extent. It's what we have to learn to live with.

[Fishmanpa]

I had my mammogram yesterday which was normal but today I noticed two burst blood vessels on my left breast and one on my right.

Ummm... you just had your boobs squished really hard. Trust your logical brain.

Positive thoughts

[FreakOutQueen]

At SeverError - I know you're right...deep down I know it. I just get into these panics and tail spins and get so consumed by this fear - it's unbearable. I'm always crying and depressed. I think I need to go back on my anxiety medication. I stopped taking it over the summer and have slowly been spiraling back into what a call a "hypochondria flair up". It is awful and I hate it and I'll feel so anxious and then I'll have a good day and will feel amazing...until I find another "symptom". I just want to stop the cycle and enjoy my life!

[ServerError]

I didn't find this forum because I randomly decided I wanted to torment anxiety sufferers by pointing out their irrationalities. I found it because I was in a state too. I was a broken man, in fact.

But you don't have to be a prisoner to anxiety. A year on, I am fully recovered and probably stronger than I was beforehand. How did I get here? Well, therapy and medication are the main reasons. But healing ultimately starts and ends with us. I had to choose to change. That not the same as saying I "just got over it". But I made a choice to start living differently, and my anxiety gradually faded. In fact, in my case, it wasn't even that gradual. Once I stood up and started tackling it, change came surprisingly quickly.

[FreakOutQueen]

I would love to hear more about strategies that have helped you overcome it! I'm really happy for you and your ability to do so. I hope the same healing for all of us still suffering from this awful affliction...it really is no way to live.

[Fishmanpa]

Here's the thing FOQ,

As server is saying, it ultimately comes down to you. Reading suggestions and tips till the cows come home won't do a thing unless you act on them. Professional real life help, meds if necessary and a lot of hard work are necessary.

Read THIS THREAD (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=159331) by cpe.... some good stuff there.

I overcame some depression with therapy, meds and a lot of hard work. My daughter has been able to control her anxiety and depression with therapy, meds and a lot of hard work.

Server did the same thing. Go back and read some of his history. The difference is amazing but I know for a fact he worked his butt off to get to where he's at as have many that have healed and moved on with their lives. In fact, there's a Facebook group made up of former members that is focused on healing (no reassurance seeking allowed). It can be done but it starts with you taking that step.

Positive thoughts

[FreakOutQueen]

Thank you for the link, Fishmanpa, I read through Chris's post and am comforted in knowing there is an end to this madness...if one puts the work in.

[ChildOfTheKing]

The burst blood vessels are from pressure of the mammogram. If you've been examined & tested you are fine. I understand knowing the logical explanation & having your anxiety argue with it, but trust your medical professionals on this one.

[FreakOutQueen]

ChildoftheKing, thanks for your response. Logical brain vs. hypochondriac brain...it's such a struggle!!!!!

[swajj]

Not to alarm you but I think we need to keep it factual here, a mammogram won't pick up everything. But you also had a breast ultrasound and that would have shown any abnormalities. You answered your own question about the burst blood vessels. The pressure from the mammography more than likely is responsible for them. You have also seen a breast specialist so you have to accept that your breasts are fine.

---------- Post added at 10:05 ---------- Previous post was at 09:23 ----------

I don't have the answer because I'm not even sure when I reached the point where I was recovered. I spent years seeing a psychiatrist. I wanted him to cure me and when it didn't happen within a couple of months I thought it was his fault. Eventually I stopped waiting for him to give me the magic cure and I started practising the CBT techniques the way he wanted me to. I figured the therapy was costing me a lot of money so I would give in and do what he suggested. From there I slowly started to get well. It was hard work, as others have said but it was the only way. When I try to put my finger on what I changed that started me on the road to recovery it is definitely my thought processes. I was always mentally checking myself eg "what is that pain in my shoulder, I read somewhere that this sort of pain can be a symptom of "that", do I have any of the other symptoms of "that", yes I do therefore it must be "that". I don't think like that anymore. If I get a pain in my shoulder I notice it but I don't think beyond that.

So you need to change the way you think. That's hard to do on your own and I would always recommend seeing a therapist who can show you how.

[FreakOutQueen]

Thank you, Swajj. I have been seeing a therapist for the past two weeks. I know I need to give it time and put the work in, which I plan on doing. In the meantime, the health anxiety persists and I just can't seem to shake this inflammatory breast cancer fear...

[FreakOutQueen]

So I just got a call from my breast specialist about my mammogram. She said there was no evidence of skin thickening and My breasts are not dense. She said oftentimes with IBC you will see skin thickening on a mammogram as well as an increase in density...so I assume this is reassuring! However, I have also read that the only way to rule it out is by biopsy, but I am assuming that occurs after there is an abnormality with other tests? This is all so confusing!

[ServerError]

It's incredibly reassurring. There are no signs of anything to worry about.

You don't want a biopsy. As a rule of thumb, a biopsy is not required until somebody trained to do so tells you need one.

[FreakOutQueen]

Thanks, ServerError. Now back to my regularly scheduled - get rid of my hypochondria - programming!