Citydeer
20-04-17, 22:43
I don't understand why I find evenings so hard. I felt so good all day today, just like completely anxiety free person. But there's something about darkness that seems to set me off most nights. The panic creeps in. The world seems like a very cold place, and the nature of life seems very dark and all there is ahead of me is doom.
Tomorrow morning I'll wake up feeling okay again and I'll look forward to going for a walk outside, I'll sit in a cafe by the window with natural light spilling in, with my laptop and I'll apply for jobs. People will walk in and out with their takeaway cups, they will sit and have business meetings, gossip, or sit behind their laptops like I do. I'll feel part of the world.
I used to look forward to nights more than anything else when I worked full time, as it was my only free time. Now that I'm unemployed I just dread them and the endless amount of dark that seems to be present.
Sorry for the rant, just needed to put it out somewhere.
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Tomorrow morning I'll wake up feeling okay again and I'll look forward to going for a walk outside, I'll sit in a cafe by the window with natural light spilling in, with my laptop and I'll apply for jobs. People will walk in and out with their takeaway cups, they will sit and have business meetings, gossip, or sit behind their laptops like I do. I'll feel part of the world.
I used to look forward to nights more than anything else when I worked full time, as it was my only free time. Now that I'm unemployed I just dread them and the endless amount of dark that seems to be present.
Sorry for the rant, just needed to put it out somewhere.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk