Anxiety is taking over my life (want to end it )

[matt1234]

Hi this is the first time , i have really spoken out to anyone but over the last few years my anxiety has taken control over my life . It wasn't as bad as it is now. I feel as if the only way to get rid of it is to end my life . The butterflies in my stomack are always there . I can never enjoy my life no more because of it .

I worried about the future and worried I wont be able to afford a house , have a family and be able to live a happy life.

I worried because I want to change careers as currently doing a apprenticeship in mechanics and not got long left until I pass (4 months to be exact). Im constantly worried that if i change jobs to do something else Im going to get fired , then go to another job going to get fired . It doing my head in as keep thinking im never going to get a job because some reason im going to get fired and they wont apply me as been fired. Then wont have anything.

I dont want to do mechanics no more as it not for me but as I said dont want to take the plunge and be on the streets with no money no family everything later on. My whole life is being effected buy it . I always worried about everything. Its horrible . It horrible because im contanlty thinking about the worst on everything. I dont agree with medication and have emailed councelling waiting for them to get back.

[snowghost57]

You should talk to your doctor about your anxiety. I know, I didn't like medication either, but I took sertraline for 3 weeks and it really helped. It slowed me down and taught me how to kick intrusive thoughts out of my head.

[Bill]

I agree with snowghost that you should certainly talk to your doctor. I've felt like you, had those thoughts and been where you are now so I feel I can empathise with how you're feeling as if there's no way out.

However, I feel you should also talk to your tutor and anyone else who is close to you who cares about you because sharing your worries can help to offload the pressure and also by talking to those who know you, they can also offer you advice as to other career options.

Don't keep these feelings bottled up. Please keep talking and keep sharing, especially with those who know you.

Your counsellor will also help you in the long run so Never give up on hope because there are Always ways to find happiness in life no matter how trapped you feel.

I Have been there myself.

[GlassPinata]

Hi this is the first time , i have really spoken out to anyone but over the last few years my anxiety has taken control over my life . It wasn't as bad as it is now. I feel as if the only way to get rid of it is to end my life . The butterflies in my stomack are always there . I can never enjoy my life no more because of it .

I worried about the future and worried I wont be able to afford a house , have a family and be able to live a happy life.

I worried because I want to change careers as currently doing a apprenticeship in mechanics and not got long left until I pass (4 months to be exact). Im constantly worried that if i change jobs to do something else Im going to get fired , then go to another job going to get fired . It doing my head in as keep thinking im never going to get a job because some reason im going to get fired and they wont apply me as been fired. Then wont have anything.

I dont want to do mechanics no more as it not for me but as I said dont want to take the plunge and be on the streets with no money no family everything later on. My whole life is being effected buy it . I always worried about everything. Its horrible . It horrible because im contanlty thinking about the worst on everything. I dont agree with medication and have emailed councelling waiting for them to get back.


I will never be able to afford a house. I'm 44, and haven't lived in a house since I was a child living with my father. I live in an area with a very high cost of living, and I've chosen a traditionally low-paying career, although it is very rewarding in other ways.
Although I will probably die the same way I have lived (that is to say, in a rented room), I have managed to raise a family, and in spite of severe anxiety, I have managed to have a happy life.
The two things are not well correlated: money and happiness. Many wealthy people are very sad, and many poor people are generally happy. I personally do not think I would be much happier even if I made a lot more money. It would alleviate some worries, but knowing myself I'd just find other things to worry about, possibly even worse things.
There is no reason you can't marry and have children even without owning a house.
The best things in life cost little or nothing: good food, good sex, a good night's sleep, the company of friends, enjoyment of nature, music, pets, creativity, physical exercise, the love of one's children and grandchildren. Helping others and giving back to the community. These things aren't dependent upon how wealthy you are; they are dependent upon your ability to open yourself up to the possibility of joy that is all around you.

If you dislike the career path you've chosen, choose another. it's never too late. Make changes, and then make more changes. Change every single thing about your life, if you have to. It is all up to you, and if you're already so miserable that you want to end it all, you've got nothing to lose. Take risks. Focus on what would make you happy, and pursue it.
And definitely continue to seek help. As a last resort, you can always go to the Emergency Room (or whatever the equivalent is, in your country) and tell them you're feeling suicidal. They have to help you, they are obligated to by law. Don't discount medication until you try it. Anything and everything is worth a try.

Most of all, don't give up.
Something wonderful could be right around the corner. Tomorrow could be the best day of your life, the day it all turns around.
But you will increase the chances of this if you take steps and make changes, if you do not remain stuck in a rut. Do not continue to waste energy pursuing a course that you already know isn't going to make you happy (in your case, mechanics). Look into other options. Aggressively look into other options, and then pursue them. I promise you, they are out there.

Best wishes.

[matt1234]

Thanks for getting back to me appreciate all the help. Ive just got in my mindset that this is going to be in my body until I die . Im not even looking forward to my holiday with the lads at the end of may because it has taken over my life and worried that im not going to enjoy myself.

I have very little motavation at all during day , dont like even getting up out of bed as it just the same old thing every day. (Anxiety attacks). I can tell im getting worst as last night I was cold , hot flushes in the morning got up and was sweating buckets . Normally I could get to sleep but the last few night I cant.

I just hope councelling will help me but how I do not know because if they cant then I dont know what to do :weep::weep::weep::weep: