Hi- in a bad place right now :-(

[alicat1]

Hi everyone,

I've had panic disorder since my teens. I'm now 37 with a lovely daughter and great husband. I am a health professional. unfortunately my husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2014. He is doing really well on treatment, but my word- that really set my anxieties going again. It was like a worst nightmare actually materialising.

I a now experiencing rippling muscles in my calves and have convinced myself it's MND... I can't shake the feeling off and at night I can't sleep because of the panic. GP said it's most likely nothing to worry about, but to go back in a couple of weeks if I'm still worried and they''ll send me to a neuro. He upped my citalopram as I had weened myself off from 20mg to 10mg, and thought I was doing ok, but now my anxiety is way off the chart.

I have had 3 days off work as I can;t sleep and feel like a nervous wreck! I thought I'd join here to meet like minded thinkers and hopefully get some perspective on things.

Thanks!

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya alicat1 and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[mandymcniven]

It's so difficult to focus on the positives when we're feeling like this. Hopefully once the Citalopram takes effect you can start to feel calmer again. Remember to give yourself credit for all that you're dealing with. Family and work for most can be stressful enough but you have the added worry of your husband having a serious illness. That's a lot for anyone to deal with so add some panic disorder and health anxiety into the mix and its absolutely no wonder you feel the way you do. What support do you have outwith your husband and your daughter? It's important that you have someone there for you. Are you able to talk to someone who understands? I go through periods of intense panic and feel constantly on edge but most of the time it's just under the surface and I can keep a lid on it. When it peaks, I use an app on my phone called What's Up which is great for distraction and mindfulness. I also have Rescue Remedy with me 24/7 for unwanted thoughts! Deep breathing exercises also help me. I hope you manage to get some time to look after yourself which I think us mums find difficult sometimes. I'm here if you need to chat and hope you start to feel better soon. Sending love xx

"My life has been a series of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened." Michel de Montaigne

[anx mum]

Hi hun hope u are feeling abit better today. This site is brilliant been really helpful for me through the years. Like yourself ive suffered with health anxiety panic disorder I can totally understand how u feel, I'm 38 now and suffered since about 17. I have years months where I am ok. But when it hits me its hell. I'm sorry your husband is going through a rough time its so hard when u worry about him while all this anxiety and panic is going on. This forum will give u support u will be ok. I know at the time u feel like hell but there is light at the end of tunnel. Ive recently had some physical pains in my chest it has scared me so much. the pains were real nothing really helped. Ive only just started to feel better. Ive found that support is a must, distraction helps gp for a walk I was housebound but forced myself to go out. Read books like mindfulness and dr weeks books are brilliant there on amazon really cheap got mine for a 1p just paid for delivery. Listen to relaxion music. Have a chat on here always someone to talk to I'm always here:yesyes: xx

[alicat1]

Thank you, ladies, for your kind and supportive replies. It's been a tough few years, but I do have some very supportive friends who are there for me f I need them. Yes, having a little one to look after makes me feel more worried at times, because I just really don't want to ruin her life and pass on anxiety, so I try to mask it as best I can, but it's tough...
I'm here for you guys too, if you ever need to off load or chat. Good to know we're not alone! xx :yesyes: