Getting emotional in public

[Ocds_]

Yesterday I was at the doctor's office and I am always anxious when I go to the doctor. So they had me sit in the waiting room for an hour, people kept going ahead of me and I just kept getting more and more internally upset. So they finally brought me to the room and I sat down, I sat there (naked with one of those sheet things on btw) for such a long time. ten to twenty minutes passed, and I just heard the doctor going into room after room but never coming in mine. I started to cry and murmur curses under my breath because I was just so fed up, I hadn't eaten all day, I know it's irrational to cry and be upset over such stupid trivial things but I kept doing so. I didn't think I was loud when I was cursing but I was in a private room with nobody else around so it wasn't like I was causing a scene. When the doctor came in I was wiping my eyes so she got all uncomfortable and asked what was wrong. I told her I had just been sitting there for like a half hour and was kind of nervous and she seemed to be okay. I felt fine after that but then, when I went out into the reception area I could feel the receptionists giving me dirty looks like they heard me cursing. I had like completely broken down in the room and now I feel so embarrassed and don't want to go back ever.

How do I get over the embarassment of crying AND getting angry in public when it wasn't even really (in) public? Also how do I stop getting so angry in public, I don't want it to become an issue it makes me feel like people think I'm crazy.

[Mindprison]

I'm not sure what advice I can give, but i'll do my best. I think when you're put in a situation that you find uncomfortable or upsetting there's no surprise that you reacted the way you did, especially if you have anxiety. Doctors should be used to the fact that sometimes things get on top of us, maybe to others it doesn't make sense, but it does to us.

Emotions are fickle things, sometimes they come on strong at the worst of times and it's part of being human, anxiety multiplies those feelings by a lot.

As for the receptionists, well, my doctor receptionists are notorious for shooting everyone nasty looks and being unhelpful! Doesn't even faze me at all now since they're like that with everyone.

I hope others can give more advice than I could, wishing you the best!

[Bonquiqui]

You were hungry and were waiting for a long time so it had an effect on you that's normal!
I used to always get grumpy after three hours of tutoring with no break and then wonder why I'm such an angry person however I read an article about stress and it said to nip things in the bud before it becomes extreme and practice self care eg get enough rest, food in your system, etc. That way you will be less likely to get cranky and stressed because those are triggers (tired and hungry) for anger.
Another thing I learnt from CBT is notice your stress. Notice it before it gets to a severe stage. Once you are aware of it you can try and overcome it by breathing and positive self talk or whatever mechanism. So in other words practice mindfulness

Lastly, and this advice is a reminder to myself as well, don't beat yourself and spiral into self-guilt. Rather be aware of it. The fact that you dislike being angry in public is a good start it shows you are aware of it and want to work on it. You are not a bad human being that seeks to harm people or be rude so rejoice in that but tell yourself yit is something you want to actively work on.

[Dave1]

I agree with Mindprison - in UK, it wouldn't surprise me at all to get a glare from a doctor's receptionist! But I believe health professionals are used to people being very upset or breaking down, so I wouldn't worry about behaving like that when at the doctor's. Obviously in some other environments getting angry isn't good.