monkeymom3
22-04-17, 09:54
Hello all!
For quite some time this site has been my reality check while experiencing HA induced panic attacks. It's a pretty great reality check, to be honest.
So, I'm actually very relieved to see all the node/ lymphoma posts as it helps me feel more like I'm experiencing something completely unremarkable and not just some sneaky form of sneaky cancer that's silently killing me while I merrily do my thing.
Tonight I woke up in a drenching night sweat. It freaked me out and because I have One (well one-ish) slightly enlarged lymph node in my groin (it's maybe 1cm-ish when it got checked a couple years ago. Not even worth a biopsy said the surgeon) The ONLY reason I notice night sweats as more than an occasional annoyance is that the surgeon had said to come back should I experience night sweats or weight loss. SO, of course now I watch for it and fret. Now, weight loss just isn't even a worry as I'm an average American (read- pudgy, but not morbid. Just a lady who had 3 kids, lol)
so, yes I did have that symptom, and occasionally do, but it's such a vague random symptom and I rather feel like the surgeon really meant to say "come back when something is actually wrong!" but having HA, I get hung up on random things. Just last month, the husband and I got some sort of absolutely killer virus and we were down for days! Went to the clinic, doc prescribes meds while feeling my nodes and asks "...and you're generally healthy, right?" And now of course I'm obsessing that it had some other meaning like "wow your nodes are scary big. Good thing you're just sick because this would be cancer otherwise!" OMG, me.
But in all reality, after scaring myself to death with Dr. Google and Night Sweats and all the other twists and turns, I came here. And found that everyone else is having the same freakout. So I have a new theory:
I don't have lymphoma, I just have my 'heavy' comforter on my bed still in the American south. It's also allergy season, and I have funky allergies and they are totally acting up. My husband needs to quit fooling with the AC even though it saves us cash. I should probably cut back on my sugar.
Now. The anxiety:
I am working on it. I started taking walks in the morning with my youngest (the others are school aged) and that helps. I DO actually think there's something up with my hormones, but nothing scary. I'm 35 this year, and I think my serotonin levels are maybe a little low since my anxiety is high.
I think recognizing that there have been a LOT of outside stressors for me in the last 5 years or so should be taken into account. Ones that are actually pretty significant, not just "oh, we're tight on money" but large life changes.
So, yeah. I woke up sweaty and had a HA panic attack over it. Uncontrollable shaking. Racing thoughts. Instant prodding and Dr. Google consults. Skimmed over all the likely causes and went straight to crazy town, correlating all kinds of random health events (like being really allergic to fleas and having had an outbreak after an inlaw brought them) to "Oh! look, Lymphoma people often have crazy itchy skin!" (the nuts thing is that I never did see a flea, but doing all the flea management stuff and treating the dog, and whammo, all better. None of my family are quite as allergic as me, so I felt like I was losing my mind with bites and no visible fleas. The dog was itching like crazy though, and there were little bites so...)
So, yeah. My anxiety is still popping like crazy, but I have a real feeling that my only actual problem is between my ears... and maybe it's time to put on the summer coverlet and tell the husband to quit making it too warm!!
For quite some time this site has been my reality check while experiencing HA induced panic attacks. It's a pretty great reality check, to be honest.
So, I'm actually very relieved to see all the node/ lymphoma posts as it helps me feel more like I'm experiencing something completely unremarkable and not just some sneaky form of sneaky cancer that's silently killing me while I merrily do my thing.
Tonight I woke up in a drenching night sweat. It freaked me out and because I have One (well one-ish) slightly enlarged lymph node in my groin (it's maybe 1cm-ish when it got checked a couple years ago. Not even worth a biopsy said the surgeon) The ONLY reason I notice night sweats as more than an occasional annoyance is that the surgeon had said to come back should I experience night sweats or weight loss. SO, of course now I watch for it and fret. Now, weight loss just isn't even a worry as I'm an average American (read- pudgy, but not morbid. Just a lady who had 3 kids, lol)
so, yes I did have that symptom, and occasionally do, but it's such a vague random symptom and I rather feel like the surgeon really meant to say "come back when something is actually wrong!" but having HA, I get hung up on random things. Just last month, the husband and I got some sort of absolutely killer virus and we were down for days! Went to the clinic, doc prescribes meds while feeling my nodes and asks "...and you're generally healthy, right?" And now of course I'm obsessing that it had some other meaning like "wow your nodes are scary big. Good thing you're just sick because this would be cancer otherwise!" OMG, me.
But in all reality, after scaring myself to death with Dr. Google and Night Sweats and all the other twists and turns, I came here. And found that everyone else is having the same freakout. So I have a new theory:
I don't have lymphoma, I just have my 'heavy' comforter on my bed still in the American south. It's also allergy season, and I have funky allergies and they are totally acting up. My husband needs to quit fooling with the AC even though it saves us cash. I should probably cut back on my sugar.
Now. The anxiety:
I am working on it. I started taking walks in the morning with my youngest (the others are school aged) and that helps. I DO actually think there's something up with my hormones, but nothing scary. I'm 35 this year, and I think my serotonin levels are maybe a little low since my anxiety is high.
I think recognizing that there have been a LOT of outside stressors for me in the last 5 years or so should be taken into account. Ones that are actually pretty significant, not just "oh, we're tight on money" but large life changes.
So, yeah. I woke up sweaty and had a HA panic attack over it. Uncontrollable shaking. Racing thoughts. Instant prodding and Dr. Google consults. Skimmed over all the likely causes and went straight to crazy town, correlating all kinds of random health events (like being really allergic to fleas and having had an outbreak after an inlaw brought them) to "Oh! look, Lymphoma people often have crazy itchy skin!" (the nuts thing is that I never did see a flea, but doing all the flea management stuff and treating the dog, and whammo, all better. None of my family are quite as allergic as me, so I felt like I was losing my mind with bites and no visible fleas. The dog was itching like crazy though, and there were little bites so...)
So, yeah. My anxiety is still popping like crazy, but I have a real feeling that my only actual problem is between my ears... and maybe it's time to put on the summer coverlet and tell the husband to quit making it too warm!!