Counsellor has made me more anxious

[worriedsoul]

I have just spent an hour on the phone to a counsellor (qualified) talking about my worries and anxiety over a new job I've started.

It started off well and encouraged me that I need to "let go" of my past job and move on. How the old job had things I didn't like and so was not perfect. I quite like this analogy.

Towards the end I told him that no matter what, I need to learn how to control my anxiety so that it doesn't consume my life. This is where he made me feel very upset and anxious by telling me not to ignore anxiety and that it is there for a reason. It is my body telling me something is wrong and giving me the motivation to do something about it. I.e. Find ANOTHER new job?! He didn't say that but what else could I do.

I also feel it has given me too much to think about regarding my last job where he said I obviously left for a reason, but I have considered going back.

I am now in sheer panic after feeling quite calm this afternoon, he has made me feel that there obviously is something I should be worried about and need to work it all out and make a big decision.

Anyone else had this experience with counselling or agree/disagree?

[snowghost57]

Sure do. When I started 2 months ago, the counselor made a comment that I'm the only client she see's once a week. I was in such a state of tears, worry and feeling like a failure. I didn't say anything, I was embarrassed. I thought when in a crisis, that it was expected to be seen once a week. Then when I told her I was on medication I can see her in two weeks, and then when I was having a good day she said I'll see you in three weeks? I feel like they are pushing me out, now that I've had a few good days? What if I need to talk to her before my appointment? I see her this Thursday and I am going to tell her it's a waste of my gas money and time to see her. I just felt really let down by the entire process.

[.Poppy.]

His statement is something that many therapists will say, but it sounds like he kind of worded it wrong and freaked you out. I've heard it from my psychiatrist, GP, and the handful of therapists/counselors I've seen. Even heard it from my dog trainer! (my dog has anxiety too :doh:)

Anyway, he's *technically* right. Anxiety has it's place for sure - you sure as heck want it if you run into a bear, for example. But for people like us, it tends to get warped out of place. I think what he was getting at is that you'll never be totally anxiety-free. no one is. It's just a part of life, and it's not always a BAD part of life. Your goal - our goal - is to A) learn how to cope with our existing anxiety and B) learn how to mitigate the anxiety we feel in situations where it isn't totally appropriate.

Another example, using my dog: he's got anxiety. He's afraid of strangers. That won't ever totally go away and maybe that's not totally bad either - you never know really when a stranger could be "dangerous" after all. BUT he must learn to cope with that fear in a healthy way so that every single stranger doesn't set him off unless something is truly odd. Additionally, he needs to learn that some things that upset him aren't worthy of being upset over -- he doesn't need to be afraid of boxes, for example.

In regards to your job - how long have you been there and what is it that is upsetting you? To rephrase his statement to you: what is your anxiety telling you about your job? What about your job is making you anxious? LISTEN to these feelings and sit with them for a second. Try to answer them. Are you just feeling a bit out of place? Or are you feeling like you've made a wrong career move? Some things will pass with time, others you may need to do a bit of adjusting and soul searching.

Regardless, a job is a job and it's not forever. You can ALWAYS change your mind or your path. Remember that. :)